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Hormone Blockers and EXTREMELY poor mental health and terrified.
Hello everyone. I am absolutely new to all this, and sitting here recovering from a mastectomy which is going well. I meet with my doctors in a couple weeks to talk about follow up treatment after the tissue has been tested. I do have hormone positive cells- both estrogen and progesterone.
The thing is, my mental health has been absolutely horrific for the past three years. I was diagnosed with PTSD and Major Depressive disorder a few years ago, moved in with my family and that made everything worse, had no support system, and then on the verge of leaving, I got breast cancer. I am a 53 year old woman.
The irony of it all is that NOW I realize i actually DO want to live. I truly do. There are so many things i want to do. I weep as i write this.
Reading about all of the terrible side effects, and knowing that I have always had a problem with high sensitivity to medications (had to go off tradnazone because of grotesque nightmares, birth control made me gain 20 pounds in a month, etc) that I feel like I am now between a rock and a hard place. I cannot afford even the slightest dip in mood. I don't have a lot of room for error here. Being suicidal is just normal for me. I have seen three therapists in as many years, i have been prescribed every drug under the sun, and I just wonder- what is the point?
I want to live. I truly want to live. What is the point of surviving cancer if i am just going to be even MORE depressed?
My family has finally woken up to the fact that I need them, have rallied around me, and are apologizing for not being more supportive the past few years. Honestly the depression was worse than the physical toll of all this- the bad mammo all the way up to surgery. What goes on in my head is MUCH worse.
I was feeling really good about my progress and healing, and then i made the mistake of going down a hormone blocker rabbit hole and i just wonder what the point is. DO i just live the last years of my life with the knowledge that i have a 50 percent chance of recurrance, or do i live the last years of my life feeling even worse mentally but cancer free? what kind of choice is that? why don't we have better options? I am HEAVILY leaning on not taking them.
My cancer SO FAR appears non invasive, stage 0, had all the tests, it was all DCIS but we won't know more til i have my next appointment with the surgeon. I have felt ok through this once i realized i was at a very early stage, but now that i realize its NOT probably going to result in JUST a masectomy i just wonder what comes next. Part of me just wants to run in the other direction, live my life and never see another doctor again and try and make every day worthwhile. I just don't know.
Anyone with similar experiences- i could really use some advice.
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@briarrose
You have a lot of sister warriors out here!! You are not alone!! Remember also, this is just TEMPORARY. That is a very hard thing to swallow,with all that you and sisters have been through.
You know your body the best of anyone out there. Do your research, discuss everything with the doctors that you trust. I just told any person on here that Creatine helps. They give this to body builders, for muscle recovery, and bone strength. I brought it up to my Oncologist and she was on it!!!! 100% Micronized powder unflavored. It's a little gritty with cold water but luke warm water is better. 5 mg. Really helps with bone pain! All sisters will pray for you. I added you to my prayer list. Good luck and keep on truckin!!
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3 ReactionsRead Medical news today! Website.
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2 Reactions@beckyboston
TRY Exemestane with Propel, game changer. Propel is water supplement with electrolytes, it really helps. You will feel like 65 again!! LOL,LOL, it will work.
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2 Reactions@angele2times this is really what i am leaning towards. Its DCIS non invasive AS FAR as we know. I will know for sure at the end of July, but i honestly think I will not take the hormone blockers. I will discuss everything with them, but i agree....if that's all there is, and all tests so far indicate it didn't travel, i am not going to take the chances presented by the blockers. Id rather just LIVE.
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1 Reaction@angele2times what an enormously kind post. I am used to other forums where snark is a way of life. I do feel like we are in a club we never wanted to be in, but now we are and its a warriorship. WHat a thing to live through! thank you for such great advice. I actually HAVE creatine and haven't cracked it open! I will give it a try. Thank you so much!
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1 Reaction@briarrose Thank you miss. I will write again in a couple weeks when i have more info. These few posts from all of you have been so helpful. Thank you for your kindness!
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2 Reactions@briarrose
So true! There are so many good human beings in this world. So we fight to be here as long as we can. Otherwise, what’s the point? And so many are here to make us feel not alone in this. Hugs.
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2 ReactionsBack at ya sister!
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1 ReactionHello! First of all, I’m so sorry for your pain. Both emotionally and physically. 😥 I am in a similar position, although my diagnosis was invasive as opposed to DCIS. I have also struggled with my mental health my whole life, and feel like these pills might tip me over the edge. Not to mention my body is so sensitive physically as well. I have Hashimoto’s and a methylation gene mutation.
Is your recurrence rate truly 50% without the hormone blockers? I was a little confused about that part. I don’t think you get on Oncotype with DCIS but there’s another test that they do. I know this because my cousin had it done. My recurrence rate with the hormone blockers is 5% and without it 8 to 10. I think I’m going to roll the dice for quality of life and try to do whatever else I can to mitigate recurrence. I’m meeting with a functional oncology nutritionist on Wednesday and have been moving my body a lot more. I really do wish you all the best. It’s such a horrible decision to have to make!! 🙏
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1 Reaction@sdbonniea123 A functional oncology nutritionist? That sounds fabulous! we sound very similar in temperament. I do not have any autoimmune issues but have had various stress related sicknesses over the years- ulcers, frozen shoulder, unexplainable rashes, just weird things when i am highly stressed. I am very intrigued by the nutrition angle and aim to clean up my diet. i have been mostly vegetarian for a long time, but its easy for highly processed foods to creep in. I want to eat a lot more raw, and since i have made this post i have grown more determined to avoid the blockers. I will not know what my stats are til i see the oncologist in a week, but i feel like i have more control than i imagine, and treatment is making strides all the time, and like you i think i will roll the dice for quality of life. This has been a massive wake up call and could lead to me being healthier than i have ever been. No room for error. I wish YOU all the best and i hope everything goes well with you. We can do this!