Hormone Blockers and EXTREMELY poor mental health and terrified.

Hey! So sorry for everything you’ve been through!!! Praying for you! I was diagnosed in November 2024. Had double mastectomy, 4 rounds of chemo, and 35 radiation sessions all during 2025. And I had diep flap surgery June 24, 2026 which I’m still recovering from.
Like you, I read all the horror stories about the AIs. However, I’ve been taking Letrozole since October 2025 and it does not bother me at all!! It may cause some joint pain but not positive as I’m pretty active for my age (57) and am sore more often than not from exercising and working in the house and yard. (Im a “retired” middle school teacher but am working part time with 3rd graders during the school year.)
So please, please at least try the AI meds that they recommend. I almost didn’t try it based on everything I had read but I’m SO glad I did!! If it bothers you, you can try a different one. If they all bother you, you can stop, but you may do great with it!! Also, being on it gives me better peace of mind knowing I’m starving any potential bc that may be hiding in me. Everyone is different so please try the AI meds for yourself. You may be pleasantly surprised like I was! I’ll be praying for you!!

I was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer as a 47 yr old male. Currently in yr 2 of treatment, taking 10 mg of Tamoxifen daily. I still work, and still only have myself to lean on.

Here is what I did - turn off the noise, turn off the internet, turn off the emotions, get a therapist and a few good friends to help you through it. I was interviewed for a cancer podcast where hosts asked how did I do it alone. Appointments alone, chemo alone, live alone. Its take a LOT of will to fight and you have to fight first without anyone’s help. I learned the hard way family, friends, coworkers, when life happens, will not be there for you. Tiny few will.

This is my podcast interview - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cancer-caregiver/id1504166813

Cancer won’t kill you, emotions will kill you. If you don’t take control of your emotions, you will want to quit, as I did several times. Best part, when can do it alone, its feels liberating.

Mayo has offered more meds for hot flashes, anxiety. I refused them. Not all meds are needed, they simply feel good. I want to fight to feel good.

You can do it @nighthouse66

I have been through lumpectomy, then chemo/immunology/proton radiation treatment twice for recurrent TNBC over the past three years. I was put on AI inhibitors a year ago after now testing ER+ on pathology from my mastectomy. I was put on Letrozole first and my mood got so low that I thought I was in danger of committing suicide. (I've never had issues before). I switched to Exemestane and the mood issues went away, however the joint issues are getting worse. I just made the decision with input from my PCP to try Exemestane every other day (against my Dana Farber Onco's wishes, based on Dr. De Censi research). If that doesn't help, I will try Tamoxifen. I am battling as much as I can, but I am 74 and quality of life matters too. I am very active and social and I told my PCP, when I first got chemo, I was 70 and felt 50. When I was finished with chemo, I felt like I was 60. Now that I'm taking AI Inhibitors, I feel like 90. Good luck and I hope you can keep trying! The AI Inhibitors seem to hit everyone differently, so give them a try and don't be afraid to switch!

@ksmitty Thank you. I guess that is the real rub- all these things hit everyone differently. I know exercise helps, and I planned on starting pole classes and already have my pole. I have done ballet and am determined to get really good on the pole. My family really is hovering around me and i guess i have to trust them again to lean on. i appreciate your reply!

@malebreastcancer47 i am so sorry. that has to be almost more than you can bear some days. "cancer won't kill you, emotions will kill you" hits hard. because no matter what a doctor says, i am certain this is due to so much heartbreak and loss in the past three years- my left breast, right above my heart. i have had literal pain in my heart for years, from all the things that have happened to me. I am doing as much on my own as i can just to show my family, "hey, you underestimated me, look what i can do". stubborness helps.

i will be happy to listen to that pod. i listen to TONS of pods. i am in awe that you are doing this alone. i appreciate your taking the time to write.

@beckyboston after melting down last night i thought, well, you have to try things, you have family support now when you didnt, and my mother is terrified that i will even get a little bit down as i have spilled everything that has happened to me and is sort of being an old fashioned mom wanting to whisk me away and take me on trips and stuff. Its....a change. I feel valued. I just which it hadn't gotten to this point to make them realize! I have already told the oncologist all of my fears, and i have faith in my doctors. i will just have to buck up and try. The surgery and all that hasn't been that bad on me. I am walking on the treadmill and taking walks. I hope it gets better for you and you start losing a year in your felt-age quickly! thank you for writing me!

Hi nighthouse66 - First, let me say you have had great responses to your posting! Everyone is spot on!
Second, always be aware in this forum you will always hear the "horror" stories more than the "it's all OK" stories. Human nature. Because of your PTSD and Major Depressive Mood Disorder it is no surprise your mind is running away with nothing but the negatives and the assumptions the AIs are going to "do you in."
I am in your shoes...not exactly but a lot. I was diagnosed with PTSD, panic attacks and depression in my late 40s. I am now 71. It took awhile for me to become mentally stable back then...not all the psychiatric medications agreed with me but I finally found the one that saved my life. And to this day, I know of what you speak - being so sensitive to lots of medications also. Any medication, as I have several health issues. I am not saying this is you - but I sometimes wonder if it really was my high anxiety when starting a new medication that caused me to stop it & list it as an adverse effect (my adverse effect drug list is long). You are not dealing with facts yet. Only future "horrible" assumptions. But I do get it. I do get you. Unfortunately the cards you have been "dealt" require you to now "deal" with your emotional health as well as your present physical health.
Not easy by any means, but certainly doable with the right tools.
You are dealing with mental health illnesses plus you are dealing with breast cancer. One will affect the other and vice-versa. You said you will meet with your doctors in a couple weeks to discuss follow up care re: your BC.
So, for now, all hands on deck to "try" to tackle your mental health status - even bringing it down a few notches will help.
Are you with a top rated medical center/depression clinic? Is it time to seek psychiatric care with new eyes?
Living your life as "being suicidal is just normal for me"...no! That is NOT normal! That speaks to me simply - you are not receiving the "right" mental health care. Do you have treatment-resistant depression? If yes, there ARE options for treatment. Are you associated with NAMI? Support groups? It's no biggie you have seen 3 therapists in 3 years. I have been seeing therapists since I was 35...a ton of them. Your post is full of catastrophic thinking - not facts. But with your lack of appropriate mental health services/care - it's not surprising. Your mental health will affect your options and decisions for your breast cancer health and that, in turn, will affect your mindset "receiving" breast cancer treatment(s). You must get all your ducks in a row.
On my 70th birthday I received the call I had breast cancer in both breasts (what a birthday it was). ER+PR+HER2-. Stage 2-3, 1 positive lymph node out of 12. Oncotype score 14. AIs were the only recommended treatment for me post bilateral mastectomy - I opted for no reconstruction. In the past 14 months I have tried all 3 AIs. 2 gave me very bad headaches & I am 10 pounds heavier. I am now on exemestane for 3 months. Yes, I have some hair thinning. Yes, I experience joint pain at times.
But the headaches have greatly reduced and, so far, this medication is a keeper.
Yes, I remain on an antidepressant - along with anti-anxiety meds. if needed. The fact is you have NO idea how you will tolerate the AIs if you decide to try them. Your life is not necessarily "over" if you are on a AI. It is your poorly treated mental health illnesses saying this...you "will suffer greatly with depression if you take an AI."
That is not a fact. It's your negative thought patterns/thinking making unhealthy assumptions.
I started the AIs when I was 70. Now 71 and despite all my illnesses PLUS the AI for breast cancer, I feel good for a 71 year old gal! Am I completely free of pain/feeling uncomfortable, etc.? Of course not!
But I am coping with the cards I have been dealt the best way (I believe) I can.
So, despite all your readings of the "bad" here is a real life story of the "good". As good as possible.
Being scared is so understandable, we have all been there. There are no guarantees for us no matter what BC treatment we are on. That is a fact. My mantra is to "do" all that I possibly can to keep myself healthy - in all ways.
That makes my mind feel better. Your life picture is currently out-of-whack. You CAN make it right for yourself - in all ways - as best you can. Don't lose faith. Hang on tight, we are all doing exactly that. Get support for your mental health, get support for your breast cancer health. You have some work to do! Baby steps, one day at a time. Be in the Present Moment. That's all every human being has anyway, the Present Moment.
Wishing you nothing but the very best on your journey and welcome to the forum!
You are not alone. We know you 🙂

@briarrose i cannot overstate how much i appreciate that post. i am going to reread it. In fact i am going to save it.
you are absolutely right- i have no idea and i am FULL of catastrophic thinking. SO much has gone wrong the past few years, and i had moved in with my family who had bought five acres and abandoned my entire community in california to move where i could build a little house and get out of the poverty grind. instead my sibling withheld some challenges of the land- like the fact that i couldn't use their well, couldn't have power installed legally, she didn't want me to cut down a bush to make a driveway etc etc etc and i knew then that i had made a grave mistake. what i had imagined was not going to go off, and i had left behind every friend i had an an affordable cabin whose rent went up 50 percent as soon as i walked away from it. then my beautiful boy cat died of stomach cancer the day after Christmas, 2024. My family ignored my worsening mental health, didn't understand how to treat me, i would go days without speaking to anyone, worked alone cleaning offices, have a single solitary friend in the entire state.
despite all this i managed to complete my bachelors, just in time for the economy to collapse due to getting a terrible new president. And all of the Epstein/"rape academy" stuff in the headlines earlier this year hit me like a wave, as my PTSD was from an abusive relationship and i began to feel the world literally despises women. it became hard to even stand next to a man in a checkout line. all of these stressors and this sense of being undervalued and ignored by my family and the world at large....i know this has SO much to do with what is happening right now. There are no good jobs where i live in New Mexico. I live on a dirt road ten miles off the main road. I was an artist, i made videos for bands, live improv visuals for hundreds of bands for over a decade, had a lot of friends, but a decade of living the starving artists' lifestyle in places in Los Angeles i think really triggered anxiety. I was always afraid of being found in one of my illegal homes. Having to bike everywhere for three years because my car was stolen and i couldn't afford to replace it, getting hit by cars twice, hustling up shows and carrying my equipment on the train....it was a tough life but it was fun....
i write all this to say that there was an enormous amount of stress leading up to leaving California, and to surrounded by friends and suddenly, none, i felt like Kafka's bug in the Metamorphoses. Ignored, overlooked. I spent my 50th birthday not being spoken to til nearly 4 in the afternoon, and my sister always gave the lame excuse of "well i thought you needed space". I NEVER asked for space, i NEEDED people. Now that i have gone through this she has done it all- emptied my drains, kept track of meds, called doctors for me, drove me, checks on me all the time, has apologized many times, says she is determined to make it up to me, "that's not the way things are going to be anymore." and they won't. Honestly the past three and a half years were far harder.....as i keep saying, this is the scariest thing, but not the worst.

but i am healing really great. Weirdly great. I have taken one Tylenol, one diazapem and one Oxy each day, and stopped taking the oxy yesterday. I've been on the treadmill, i have eaten well, i am not in a lot of pain. one drain has gone to nearly nothing, and they get paler everyday. its my head that is worrisome.
and the thing is- i know damn well there are no promises, there are no certainties. This is so hard to live with as an anxious person. I have to deal with my mental health. i told my family and they agree. i can't go back to my sad solitary job cleaning toilets while i cry. Its absurd. It almost feels like a joke sometimes, its so awful. I still feel there is a destiny i must fulfil, that i am not done, and i know i have to change my whole attitude and get proper help.
and....i apologize that this is so long, i am a verbose person....but ....it seems we have to learn to make friends with death? does this sound odd? Like we must understand how fragile life truly is, so we can not waste a second. and the only way to do that is make some sort of peace with death. that no matter what your age, it is THERE. it lives there, on the other side of life at all times. You can be 16 and in the peak of health and fall off a bike and die. You can be 80 and get cancer and still live to be a 100. the oddity of all of it- it almost feels humorous in its absurdity. like a tornado which skips the shanty held together with wire but blows away the stalwart brick house. Living with unpredictability- i suppose that is the root. the thing i have always struggled with.
again, i appreciate your reply, so very much. it helps me hugely!

If you have DCIS with no other implications, why consider anything else after a mastectomy? Radiation, perhaps, but the rest with your history would be a hard pas for me. You know your body better than anyone. Do you you think is right ask three doctors, breast surgeon, plastic surgeon and your personal doctor. Get all the information you can , and you decide. With all that expertise in your pocket and what you know about yourself, should be the best indicator of what you should do. But, this decision is a hard one!!

@nighthouse66 Remember one step at a time, live in the present moment.
Live your life fully. Death is there for us all but you are living NOW.
Take all the joys - no matter how small - into your heart, mind and soul.
It's always the little things that often bring a smile to our faces.
Treat yourself with kindness and self compassion. You deserve nothing less!
I truly understand your PTSD. I have been in your shoes also.
Recognize it, accept it and move forward. There ARE so many good human beings in this world.
You are going to make it, nighthouse66... from your posting I can see so many things to be grateful for in your life! You are not alone, truth be told we are all just trying to do our best each day. We accept the good with the bad. And we make it!
Wishing you all the very best as you travel your life path!
Blessings.