Connect
Comment receiving replies
I agree that we all need our pleasures and I have mine without any guilt because I know caregiving is draining and anything that I can do to give me pleasure is just what I need. Tending my garden restores my soul. This morning while my husband was still sleeping ( he sleeps virtually all day now) I was out in the front up on a ladder trimming some trees along the driveway. I am getting our home ready for a wedding reception fiesta in our backyard in October for my daughter and her fiancé. My family is so big that not everyone could be invited to the actual wedding in September in Mammoth Lakes, CA where they live. Also it is in the Sierra Nevada mountains at 8,000 feet and is difficult to get to unless you drive. Not an option for some of the older relatives. I also have been sewing since I was a child and am busy making my dress for the wedding and also my daughter's veil. For me keeping busy with projects that have an end result-usually good- gives me a sense of control over part of my life. I have no control over my husband's dementia and really can't know that the future will bring so I try to find something to be grateful for each day and that works for me.
Replies to "I agree that we all need our pleasures and I have mine without any guilt because..."
@ocdogmom I'm excited for you in planning your "Fiesta" wedding reception in your backyard. Your note reminds me, that even on difficult days with our daily caregiving - in whatever stage we're in - there are so many things to be thankful for. I don't have a large family, so I celebrate the joy I have in just reading what you are planning to do in making your own dress and your daughter's veil. I think that's very special. Yes, life does go on. A reminder to me, to create as many memories as we can, my husband and I walk small walks every day. We have this competitive game play, since we're surrounded by a public golf course. We look for stray balls over by our rental condominium side which is private and not part of the course. One ball hit our car and smashed the back light at the tune of $900 to fix. I'm proud to report, we found 90 balls in two days....Now, that's a lot of stray balls and bad golfers.
My best, Karla
Connect
@ocdogmom So nice to read that you are guilt-free. So am I.
Things you mention are also what I enjoy. I learned to sew as a pre-teen, still do that, sometimes on my mom’s old Singer featherweight, not fancy. A couple weeks ago I got out the chain saw and trimmed branches hanging over the driveway. My tomato plants are three feet tall - impressive. I tend my flowers and keep my little pool clean.
You’re right, it’s a sense of control of the environment when so many other things are impossible to fix. My husband has blood cancer, is kept alive with blood transfusions after five kinds of failed treatment; no kidneys because of renal cell cancer and tumors; has had memory loss for nearly ten years, and dementia for about five years.
Life is ok, but it’s not easy! Take time for yourself when you can; so nice to hear from someone who is managing a difficult time.