Husband has schizoid personality disorder. Anyone else in this spot?

@santy RUN, don't walk to the nearest exit, determine who you are and what you want and then find a man who will walk your journey WITH you. IT DOES NOT GET BETTER!!! My husband is 81 and his life consists of hours on his computer, hours in front of the
TV watching things most normal people have absolutely NO interest in (The Black Death. Quantum physics, Black Holes, Super mathematics.......), hours with his nose in a book and time in his garden in the summer. He eats alone, very seldom initiates conversation and if you ask him about this he thinks it is perfectly OK or he just shuts down. From my reading he really does think this is OK because he has NO Emotional INTELLIGENCE - none!!!. This is his normal. He will go anywhere and do anything I suggest but the minute we are in the house he heads straight for his computer. And forget sex (yes people in their 80's still have sex). Essentially, I live alone and at 80 it is a little late for me but you have a chance at a "normal" married life which you will never have with him. We did 6 years of marital counseling before he was diagnosed none of which changed anything and even after the diagnosis nothing has changed, He is in therapy but, as far as I can see nothing is changing, Run, don't walk to the nearest exit if you want any chance of happiness because you won't find it with your current husband!!!

Hi, I just found this site and I know your posting was a long time ago but, if you are still around I would like to chat with you. this is what I wrote to someone who had been married to a Szpd for 3 months and wanted to know what to do: RUN, don't walk to the nearest exit, determine who you are and what you want and then find a man who will walk your journey WITH you. IT DOES NOT GET BETTER!!! My husband is 81 and his life consists of hours on his computer, hours in front of the
TV watching things most normal people have absolutely NO interest in (The Black Death. Quantum physics, Black Holes, Super mathematics.......), hours with his nose in a book and time in his garden in the summer. He eats alone, very seldom initiates conversation and if you ask him about this he thinks it is perfectly OK or he just shuts down. From my reading he really does think this is OK because he has NO Emotional INTELLIGENCE - none!!!. This is his normal. He will go anywhere and do anything I suggest but the minute we are in the house he heads straight for his computer. And forget sex (yes people in their 80's still have sex). Essentially, I live alone and at 80 it is a little late for me but you have a chance at a "normal" married life which you will never have with him. We did 6 years of marital counseling before he was diagnosed none of which changed anything and even after the diagnosis nothing has changed, He is in therapy but, as far as I can see nothing is changing, Run, don't walk to the nearest exit if you want any chance of happiness because you won't find it with your current husband!!!

@nativefloridian THERE IS NOTHING INTERMITTENT ABOUT SZPD - IT IS 24/7!!!!!

@santy My husband was diagnosed with SPD about 4 years ago-we’ve been together for 30 years. I have lost most of my friends and have isolated myself because I’m afraid to share this with others. He avoids-deflects-lies-manipulates-he has no friends-doesn’t have personal relationships with ANYONE, not even with myself or our boys. I am in therapy-EMDR and just quit marriage counseling after a year because he would show up to sessions and refuse to participate. Our marriage counselor and my therapist BOTH ask me-if you’re not willing to leave, what are you going to do to protect yourself?
I was adopted into a family that was abusive. I was psychologically, physically & sexually abused for 14 years before I was able to sign myself up to join the military at 18 and never looked back. At that age-stuck in fight or flight, I didn’t see the red flags-I didn’t understand. I AM MISERABLE and feel sick to my stomach most of the time. Has anyone had success in treating this?

@loupowers, Welcome to Connect. After 30 years together, it sounds like you have reached a very difficult place, especially feeling isolated from friends while trying to understand what is happening in your marriage.

You mentioned that both your therapist and marriage counselor have asked what you can do to protect yourself if you are not willing to leave. It sounds like that may be an important question for you right now, particularly since you have stopped marriage counseling and your husband was unwilling to participate.

When you ask whether anyone has had success treating this, are you hoping to hear about treatment that helped a spouse with schizoid personality disorder, or are you also looking for ways other spouses have protected their own well-being while remaining in the relationship?