After extensive back surgery, where can I find emotional support?

My approach is to answer briefly without detail (as if it's no big deal, even if it is) then switch the conversation to something of interest to the other person.

Leslie, I had my fusion is 1990 after a fall during an earthquake in 1988 in Los Angeles county north. I had a laminectomy L4 & L5, fusion L4-S1 with stainless steel bars and screws. I wore the claim shell brace for almost a year before gaining my freedom. PT is not what it is today back then and a good HEP would have helped. I also have 20 and 25 degree scoliosis lumbar and thoracic and I’ve shrunk 3” over my life thus far. I always looked forward to the future and what professional I could do since nursing on a patient floor wasn’t happening again. I walked a lot, swam, walked some more, walked our dogs and eventually got to the other side. Now at 74 I don’t plan on any more surgery if I can help it and I’m still walking despite the spinal arthritis and PN.

leslie77 (@leslie77) this part from your post caught my attention--where can I find support for emotions?
I have found emotional support from friends, family and prayer my whole life of 59 years. But now I am dealing with my first big medical crisis and I am forcing myself to not isolate. I have joined the senior center nearby for all kinds of different classes and it has been great. Since I had to quit my job recently, I had become depressed and knew that I needed help. Therapy is (no joke) $181 per one hour session and that is our cost thru United healthcare. Did that for one month but the cost was too much. Talked to my PCP and decided to use Wellbutrin and it helps a lot.
I agree completely with (@jenatsky) when they said-- I walked a lot, swam, walked some more, walked our dogs and eventually got to the other side.
When my back allows I make myself get outside for sun and walking. Finding Mayo Connect has also really helped. I volunteer when I can also and that puts life in perspective. Much good luck with you and your journey.

I've gone into detail about some of my physical challenges so I won't repeat all of it here. I retired at age 65 when my neck decided to cause me unacceptable pain. I had neck surgery in 2019. Had L45 Right hemilaminectomy in 2013, followed a year later with L4-5 fusion.
I started crying every morning when I woke up. I was already on anti-depressant medication and a mood stabilizer. First the doctor increased my mood stabilizer. Then, because I was stressed out and crying again, he temporarily increased my antidepressant for 6 months. I was stable for a while, then he increased my mood stabilizer and that has helped. But now I'm scared. Scared about what's going on with my back because I just don't know. My husband has been very supportive as have my friends. The rest of my family (sibs, children) are tired of hearing about it. So I stopped talking about it with them. I have a therapist of 24 years who has back issues as well. She has been very encouraging of me pursuing answers, hence a second opinion. Everything helps, and I need to remind my self to breath. I've done chair yoga at our senior center, and now I do chair exercises on YouTube twice a week with neighbors at our clubhouse. All of us have different ailments and we are supportive of each other without focusing on those. We focus on getting strong and accepting ourselves. We slow down, speed up with the exercises, doing what we are able. My biggest issue with acceptance is balance and having a cane outside my home. It looks to outsiders like I don't need it, but balance isn't always visible. I'm just short of getting a rollator/walker. I've switched doctors and that has helped as has the reminder from my husband not to get ahead of myself and to be patient with the process of exploring other reasons for back pain (vascular testing and an EMG along with CT scan and xrays).
So Leslie, keep breathing, call your insurance company and ask them for a list of therapists who are covered by your insurance and call/see at least 3 and figure out which one fits what you are looking for. Write down all you want in a therapist. I love organizing lists but I know it's not for everyone.
Good luck, use this forum. It's helped me a lot.
Oh, and my real name is also Leslie. Lessie was my nickname given to me by a good friend who passed away a few years ago.

@jenatsky
Wow!! You are a great inspiration in living your life as fully as you can! I can certainly relate to some of your surgeries, although not the earthquake. That might be the most unique start of this journey for you.
Your resilience in walking swimming walking the dog, which I try to do myself twice a day. It’s a little slower for my bichon Magic than it used to be. I have started aqua therapy and it feels so good. I need more balance now. I fell on the street flat on my back and side of my head. My Dr is sending me for 3 ct scans tomorrow. I don't have pain but want everything ok.
Thank you for the encouragement!

@dit09
You gave me great ideas I hadn’t thought of! We have a senior friendship center here and I am going to look into what they offer. We have a great discussions during the school year with an organization called OLLI ,maybe you have it too it’s
national for lifelong learners .
Isolation can come too easily and doesn’t add anything positive. I know lyrica has helped with pain and emotions.
I will look to volunteer again at the Humane Society. And get outside! Great help! Good luck with your activities !

@lessie
Now that’s a great nickname! my brothers called me Nestlé like Nestlé quick. 😂
I’m sorry you are feeling scared. do you have any new information from your doctor? Are you in the testing phase to see what’s going on? my doctor has been critical to my recovery. He did the operations on my neck and back which had to be done very quickly.
And I asked as many questions as I needed to not be afraid. Although this medical world is new to me, I read all I can. I tend to be impatient with progress and then discouraged when recovery is alittle step back or sideways.
I have been using a walker primarily , with a rollator although its very fast. I’m starting to use my cane for very short distances from the car to the restaurant door. It’s the balance again.It is challenging to walk my bichon with the walker but it is the better of the rollator or cane. I have fear of falling again when new dogs or people come by on my quiet street. I’m trying to find strategies so he doesn’t pull or lunge when unknowns come around. Im trying different walk times.
Thank you for sharing what’s working for you. I look forward to learning more from this group and good luck with your journey.