Anyone Else With PTSD?

@jimhd - Good morning. That must have been a frustrating and scary experience prior to and at the beginning of the MRI. The same thing happened to me a few months ago. When I was on the MRI table I could feel myself tense and thought, Oh ..... I yelled out, " stop" as the table started to go into the machine. The technician came in the room and talked to me. He put a light scarf over my head and just a bit of a corner allowed me to see what was going on. I've also been given the wrong drugs for different things. So what I do now is ask what is being prescribed and any side effects I might experience before the doctor leaves the room. This way I can control a situation like you mentioned. Drugs can be ordered so quickly with a computer that if a doctor hit the send key, it's too late to discuss anything, and you have a new prescription waiting for you.
Of course the past does shape and effect us, a lot. That doesn't mean that we have to carry it around and let it dictate how we react to those memories our entire lives. We can stuff them away, maybe not permanently, but for at least some of the time. It's amazing how many insensitive people there are that mean well but do not know how to do that. Other than walking away from them you might say, "sounds like you have through this, what's your secret?" By the way I struggled to come up with this one.
After 10 years of being free from my first cancer I had a new one, much different than the first. I was shocked beyond words. That started my journey of PTSD, migraines, etc. My upbringing and my sense of of the world around me came barreling in, like a tsunami overwhelming a beach. I fell asleep to the word, get over it by many people. It has taken me years to do just that but only after years of trying to deal with each situation.
When I remember it, I try to be mindful. I try to do the things that keep me healthy both physically and mentally but sometimes I don't.
One thing that I have to remember is that I am only remembering the past and it is the memory that hurts or makes me fearful. I find that I am not always successful in thinking positively about them. How do you do this?

@merpreb I always read the paperwork that comes with a medication. This one slipped by me. I'd have objected. I talked with the pharmacist about it and she recommended that I have an injection. I need to ask the pharmacist what the injection would be.

A psychologist said at a conference I attended, " Our brain is designed to be able to move thoughts into an archive file, close it off, so bad memories are stored in that archive, but we still can gain access to the account." That's been helpful to me for many years, knowing that those memories are still in that part of my brain, but shut off from view. They're back there somewhere, but not in the daily functioning space.

At another conference, a speaker suggested that we write a letter to the person who caused us pain, even if they're already in the grave. He told us that we could choose either to put it in the mail, or tear it up and burn it. I chose to write a letter to a former boss, and mailed it to him. It felt like that particular piece of my PTSD was dealt with, and found that I could move on. He responded to my letter (this was before texting and emailing were created), and expressed that my letter had meant a lot to him. That added another layer to the trauma he had caused in my life.

Well, it's Sunday afternoon, and that means nap time.

Jim

@parus Depression, anxiety, PTSD, claustrophobia and a bunch of other things are a total mystery to many of the people who have never experienced them. Stigma is alive and well, I'm afraid.

I had an MRI last week and told the referring doctor that I was claustrophobic. She must have no idea what that means. She prescribed Ativan to take an hour ahead and a second one 15 minutes ahead. First, it's on my drug allergies list, and second, I've been taking Clonazepam for years, which is one of Ativan's cousins, so it had zero effect on me. A panic attack started before I got six inches into the machine. I closed my eyes and focused on arranging chords for a song we sing at church, and I managed to stop the panic in time.

I think PTSD has connections with panic/anxiety disorder. It generates some of the same signs in me.

I hear people all the time say that I have to let go of the past and its hurts. That the past is gone. That I shouldn't (there's that dread word, should) let my past control my present. But, the past has affected and shaped me, for good or for ill. I never hear anyone say that I need to let go of the good things in my past, yet they've also been part of the shaping process.

I'm afraid that I have selective remembering. I remember the things that aren't important and forget things that are.

I've been exposed to mindfulness many times over the past 15 years, and one thing that is stressed is not to deny my past, and not to shove it out of my mind, but to acknowledge the memories. That doesn't mean to dwell on them, but to respond to the memories in the positive ways I've learned in mindfulness training. I find that when I can do that, I'm able to move on and not become trapped by the past pain. It hasn't ceased to exist. It just doesn't have as much control over me that it use to.

We're all works in progress, aren't we.

Jim

@jimhd- Hi. I wasn't talking about paper work that comes with a prescription. I was talking about actually talking to the doctor before you leave the office. Byt the time you collect you Rx it's too know what was prescribed. I suggest that you go back and contact your doctor and talk with her/him about alternative ways of getting medicines that you can take. Also, perhaps a talk about not paying attention to you or your history when it comes to allergies or intolerance. I am going through the same thing right now with my doctor, not about meds but office policies and mistakes with dosages and and timely responses. It's makes me very anxious. You too?

@merpreb I have seen the doctor who ordered the MRI one time. I told her assistant that I would need something for claustrophobia. I think that any of my usual doctors would have known that Ativan was a no no, and would have no effect. The neurologist is the one who ordered the next MRI, and I'm going to talk with him about it.

The more doctors and other care givers who are involved with my health issues, the more likely it is that slip ups will happen.

Jim

Ah, see Jim. I didn't have the whole story. You are exactly right. There are too many people involved in our lives and especially our health. I hope that it doesn't happen to you again.

@merpreb Me too

Ah, see Jim. I didn't have the whole story. You are exactly right. There are too many people involved in our lives and especially our health. I hope that it doesn't happen to you again.

@merpreb , I had the second MRI, and I forgot to tell my doctor about my claustrophobia, so when I checked in and told the MRI tech, she gave me a tiny dose of Xanax, which had no effect on me. But I was better prepared the second time and took extras of my own meds ahead of time, so I think that I was pretty relaxed. Along with my midday morphine sulfate I took Klonopin and a muscle relaxer. I knew that would lower my alertness, so my wife did the driving.

Jim

@jimhd- With all of your other meds that you took to relax I'm not surprised that you didn't feel thing with a tiny bit of Xanax. Did you mention the Xanax at all? Could you walk after all of that? lol? Well, you got through it and now have to wait for the results or do you have them as yet?