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Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 5 hours ago | Replies (57)
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@gratia hello my name is Dina. My brother and myself and my sister-n-law are the only ones looking after our 91 year old mom. She is constantly lying to us and throwing one of us under the bus (so to speak). She plays us against each other all the time. This is so frustrating for all of us, we have been dealing with her dementia almost 3 years now. She’s forgetting my brother’s name and calling him my dad’s name. She forgets how to operate her appliances, she made us sign a living will stating we would let her remain in her own home until she passes. This is very difficult for all of us, we don’t have any other help. So we deal with anger and sadness a lot.
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@dmash3 Hi Dina,
I feel for you. It’s only my sister and myself caregiving. Mother is 95 and going strong physically.
I try my best to remember it’s a chapter of life and not forever. I’m also learning to “forgive and forget” so I can keep my inner peace and learn to be more compassionate. A lot of her selfish behaviors are the disease, but some are definitely an extension of who she’s always been.
I hope to come out of this strong enough to forge another chapter in my own life. The unknowns make it so hard - how long will this continue?… Being over 60 myself, how can I keep it together and start over after this ends? I try to take it day to day with no or low expectations.
I wish you strength, peace and acceptance. I find “acceptance” and “reframing” very helpful. Even in the most trying scenarios there are lessons and opportunities to be gained. I’m writing a vampire story inspired by this experience with dementia- it’s def a soul sucking disease for all involved! 🤗❤️