Parus (@parus) – RE: Being Old With Chronic Pain plus Loneliness…Anyone else in the same boat?
Old? I sign up to that...with 76 trips around the sun. FWIW FYI: Getting old is the natural sequential order of living things. Nobody gets off the planet alive.
Chronic pain? No “Show Stopper Levels” here, only normal day-to-day aches and pains associated with being reminded that I am vintage.
Loneliness? One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. As for me, I, personally, have never been lonely, either when alone or in a crowd.
Reality is what has already happened. The future is what will happen. If it hasn't happened yet it doesn't have to happen. Things can get better. If you don't think they're going to get better they're probably not going to get better. I was in horrible pain a couple of hours ago. and I believed that if I went to a quiet place with a glass of wine and centered my thoughts and brought peace to my mind and my body that I could live through my pain and experience as much less pain than it was before. As it usually does either my pain decreased or my experience of that pain became different. If I didn't believe I had power over these things, I might have given up a long time ago. I do guided meditations. You listen to what the meditation is telling you to do and you do it . You relaxed what the voice tells you to relax. you see the image the voice tells you to see. you fall into the emptiness. At some point, this train goes off the track. The Voice goes away and you see different images that no voice is telling you to see. You experience different Sensations that your mind is creating, that you are creating. It took a while to develop this ability but there's nothing special about me, anyone can do it. meditation is much easier than people think it is, they try to hard. Being healed is much different than then being cured or being fixed. we do not have to stop growing while we are still alive. My situation isn't something I would wish on anyone else, but it's not nearly as bad as it could be and I can make it better if I choose to because I believe I can and that is my reality and it can be your reality if you choose it to be
Parus (@parus) – RE: Being Old With Chronic Pain plus Loneliness…Anyone else in the same boat?
Old? I sign up to that...with 76 trips around the sun. FWIW FYI: Getting old is the natural sequential order of living things. Nobody gets off the planet alive.
Chronic pain? No “Show Stopper Levels” here, only normal day-to-day aches and pains associated with being reminded that I am vintage.
Loneliness? One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. As for me, I, personally, have never been lonely, either when alone or in a crowd.
Parus (@parus) – RE: Being Old With Chronic Pain plus Loneliness…Anyone else in the same boat?
Old? I sign up to that...with 76 trips around the sun. FWIW FYI: Getting old is the natural sequential order of living things. Nobody gets off the planet alive.
Chronic pain? No “Show Stopper Levels” here, only normal day-to-day aches and pains associated with being reminded that I am vintage.
Loneliness? One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. As for me, I, personally, have never been lonely, either when alone or in a crowd.
actually the wine just happened to be present at that moment. it wasn't my intention to meditate at that time. After I get unwrapped and massage I have an hour where I don't have to be wrapped and I usually go sit with my dogs and have a glass of wine. after I got to my chair I decided it was time to meditate. if my initial plan had been to meditate I wouldn't have taken wine with me. not that it would have been a problem but it isn't part of the process and it isn't required. there are many things that we can't change about our condition. Fortunately, our mindset is not among them.
Parus (@parus) – RE: Being Old With Chronic Pain plus Loneliness…Anyone else in the same boat?
Old? I sign up to that...with 76 trips around the sun. FWIW FYI: Getting old is the natural sequential order of living things. Nobody gets off the planet alive.
Chronic pain? No “Show Stopper Levels” here, only normal day-to-day aches and pains associated with being reminded that I am vintage.
Loneliness? One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. As for me, I, personally, have never been lonely, either when alone or in a crowd.
we did make that trip to the Mexican restaurant with both my sons and David's wife. We had a great lunch and did some shopping. Stocked up on dry peppers and a whole bunch of fresh salsas along with some carnitas which are cooked and then fried pieces of pork which we're going to make into tostadas tonight from there we went to the Chinese grocery store and stocked up on fun noodles and different sauces, dried shrimp , quail eggs along with some Ginseng tea. Ginseng tea is great for raising your energy and improving your mood. It's one of the oldest Herbal Remedies known to man. The tea is an inexpensive way to take advantage of its qualities. From there we went to Whole Foods or as we call it whole wallet. We got some great bread some great cheese and some other groceries. it was a pretty expensive trip but everything that we got was edible and good good-for-you. it's been a long time since I could get through walking around 3 grocery stores in one day. my increased energy is due to my exercise. it was a wonderful day interacting with people from different cultures that help to make America the place that it is. the Chinese grocery store was the best part of the trip. I was able to buy four kinds of mushrooms I don't usually have access to. they were much less expensive than they would have been at say Whole Foods. I just got back from the gym. I went with my son mark. we hit the machines hard for over an hour and now I feel like a million bucks. my son says he does too.
Parus (@parus) – RE: Being Old With Chronic Pain plus Loneliness…Anyone else in the same boat?
Old? I sign up to that...with 76 trips around the sun. FWIW FYI: Getting old is the natural sequential order of living things. Nobody gets off the planet alive.
Chronic pain? No “Show Stopper Levels” here, only normal day-to-day aches and pains associated with being reminded that I am vintage.
Loneliness? One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. As for me, I, personally, have never been lonely, either when alone or in a crowd.
Being unable to be open about ourselves is difficult, especially if by doing so would generate judgment or rejection. I've worn masks all of my adult life. It certainly was a factor in my experiencing what used to be called a nervous breakdown. I prefer what one author called it - a brain storm. I'm not positive that's what he called it - it might have been something else, but that's close.
Mask wearing is just that - wearing. It wears us down over time. Being able to remove those masks with therapists has meant a lot to me. I take off different masks with different people and groups, still keeping other ones on.
Do you have people in your life who know what's behind the masks? And still care about you and accept you as is. I have found that the people here don't judge, but instead support each other. That makes it so much easier to say the truth, instead of saying "I'm fine". We welcome you to this safe space.
I saw your title and question, and, yes, I am in the same boat. The ageing I was starting to get used to ... it's just another cycle in life, blah, blah, blah. Actually, it's rather freeing. However, the chronic pain and loneliness have sunk me into what seems like a never-ending depression. Seems to be a vicious cycle. I seem to have withdrawn from friends because of the pain and depression. I used to be a 'glass is half full,' optimistic person. I don't know where she went, but she's gone. Wish I had some wisdom to pass along, but pretty much all I can say is you're not alone and I hope you find something which enthuses you, as well as relief from your pain.
Parus (@parus) – RE: Being Old With Chronic Pain plus Loneliness…Anyone else in the same boat?
Old? I sign up to that...with 76 trips around the sun. FWIW FYI: Getting old is the natural sequential order of living things. Nobody gets off the planet alive.
Chronic pain? No “Show Stopper Levels” here, only normal day-to-day aches and pains associated with being reminded that I am vintage.
Loneliness? One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. As for me, I, personally, have never been lonely, either when alone or in a crowd.
Meditation can be a great method of treatment. There are different kinds of meditation, put out there by a variety of people and groups.
I practice Christian meditation, which is quite different from what you describe. Briefly, I focus on a thought I read in the Bible, sometimes looking at how it reads in several versions/translations/interpretations, which gives me different perspectives. From there, I pray and sit quietly to hear what God has to say to me with regard to applying what I've read, or to hear what He has to say in general. He might remind me of someone, which leads to praying for them.
That's obviously a personal and very limited description of Christian meditation. There can be so many other elements, which are different for different people.
One unique facet of Christian meditation is that it doesn't lead a person to emptying their mind. Rather, the goal is to fill the mind with the presence of God's spirit.
Parus (@parus) – RE: Being Old With Chronic Pain plus Loneliness…Anyone else in the same boat?
Old? I sign up to that...with 76 trips around the sun. FWIW FYI: Getting old is the natural sequential order of living things. Nobody gets off the planet alive.
Chronic pain? No “Show Stopper Levels” here, only normal day-to-day aches and pains associated with being reminded that I am vintage.
Loneliness? One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. As for me, I, personally, have never been lonely, either when alone or in a crowd.
Very cool Jim. actually a lot of my meditation isn't that much different. In Qi Gong we start by saying a password. "I am in the universe, the universe is in my body, the universe and I are one." Then we call on our Master to come and bring their love to help us with our exercises and our meditations. My master always comes, he is a Jewish man in his early 30s, looks to be Aramaic and dresses from an era of probably 2000 years ago. This is the case for many of the people I know who practice Qigong. They are Christians by culture if not by active practice. Many such folks end up with the same master . From that point on I may do one of many guided meditations put out by Master Lim who is fronting Spring Forest Qigong or I may just carry on on my. My favorite is a Qigong Meditation for healing Cancer.
Parus (@parus) – RE: Being Old With Chronic Pain plus Loneliness…Anyone else in the same boat?
Old? I sign up to that...with 76 trips around the sun. FWIW FYI: Getting old is the natural sequential order of living things. Nobody gets off the planet alive.
Chronic pain? No “Show Stopper Levels” here, only normal day-to-day aches and pains associated with being reminded that I am vintage.
Loneliness? One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. As for me, I, personally, have never been lonely, either when alone or in a crowd.
Keep the mask on your face if you like but please take the mask off your heart. A very important young Jewish man once said to me, "It's not my face you need to recognize, it's my heart."
I saw your title and question, and, yes, I am in the same boat. The ageing I was starting to get used to ... it's just another cycle in life, blah, blah, blah. Actually, it's rather freeing. However, the chronic pain and loneliness have sunk me into what seems like a never-ending depression. Seems to be a vicious cycle. I seem to have withdrawn from friends because of the pain and depression. I used to be a 'glass is half full,' optimistic person. I don't know where she went, but she's gone. Wish I had some wisdom to pass along, but pretty much all I can say is you're not alone and I hope you find something which enthuses you, as well as relief from your pain.
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Reality is what has already happened. The future is what will happen. If it hasn't happened yet it doesn't have to happen. Things can get better. If you don't think they're going to get better they're probably not going to get better. I was in horrible pain a couple of hours ago. and I believed that if I went to a quiet place with a glass of wine and centered my thoughts and brought peace to my mind and my body that I could live through my pain and experience as much less pain than it was before. As it usually does either my pain decreased or my experience of that pain became different. If I didn't believe I had power over these things, I might have given up a long time ago. I do guided meditations. You listen to what the meditation is telling you to do and you do it . You relaxed what the voice tells you to relax. you see the image the voice tells you to see. you fall into the emptiness. At some point, this train goes off the track. The Voice goes away and you see different images that no voice is telling you to see. You experience different Sensations that your mind is creating, that you are creating. It took a while to develop this ability but there's nothing special about me, anyone can do it. meditation is much easier than people think it is, they try to hard. Being healed is much different than then being cured or being fixed. we do not have to stop growing while we are still alive. My situation isn't something I would wish on anyone else, but it's not nearly as bad as it could be and I can make it better if I choose to because I believe I can and that is my reality and it can be your reality if you choose it to be
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3 ReactionsWine could help with pain-I suppose.
actually the wine just happened to be present at that moment. it wasn't my intention to meditate at that time. After I get unwrapped and massage I have an hour where I don't have to be wrapped and I usually go sit with my dogs and have a glass of wine. after I got to my chair I decided it was time to meditate. if my initial plan had been to meditate I wouldn't have taken wine with me. not that it would have been a problem but it isn't part of the process and it isn't required. there are many things that we can't change about our condition. Fortunately, our mindset is not among them.
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3 Reactionswe did make that trip to the Mexican restaurant with both my sons and David's wife. We had a great lunch and did some shopping. Stocked up on dry peppers and a whole bunch of fresh salsas along with some carnitas which are cooked and then fried pieces of pork which we're going to make into tostadas tonight from there we went to the Chinese grocery store and stocked up on fun noodles and different sauces, dried shrimp , quail eggs along with some Ginseng tea. Ginseng tea is great for raising your energy and improving your mood. It's one of the oldest Herbal Remedies known to man. The tea is an inexpensive way to take advantage of its qualities. From there we went to Whole Foods or as we call it whole wallet. We got some great bread some great cheese and some other groceries. it was a pretty expensive trip but everything that we got was edible and good good-for-you. it's been a long time since I could get through walking around 3 grocery stores in one day. my increased energy is due to my exercise. it was a wonderful day interacting with people from different cultures that help to make America the place that it is. the Chinese grocery store was the best part of the trip. I was able to buy four kinds of mushrooms I don't usually have access to. they were much less expensive than they would have been at say Whole Foods. I just got back from the gym. I went with my son mark. we hit the machines hard for over an hour and now I feel like a million bucks. my son says he does too.
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3 Reactions@audreyb
Being unable to be open about ourselves is difficult, especially if by doing so would generate judgment or rejection. I've worn masks all of my adult life. It certainly was a factor in my experiencing what used to be called a nervous breakdown. I prefer what one author called it - a brain storm. I'm not positive that's what he called it - it might have been something else, but that's close.
Mask wearing is just that - wearing. It wears us down over time. Being able to remove those masks with therapists has meant a lot to me. I take off different masks with different people and groups, still keeping other ones on.
Do you have people in your life who know what's behind the masks? And still care about you and accept you as is. I have found that the people here don't judge, but instead support each other. That makes it so much easier to say the truth, instead of saying "I'm fine". We welcome you to this safe space.
Jim
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2 Reactions@gman007
What a day that will be, Gary! I'm feeling better since the psychiatrist started me on Mirtazapine (Remeron).
Jim
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1 Reaction@wsh66
Meditation can be a great method of treatment. There are different kinds of meditation, put out there by a variety of people and groups.
I practice Christian meditation, which is quite different from what you describe. Briefly, I focus on a thought I read in the Bible, sometimes looking at how it reads in several versions/translations/interpretations, which gives me different perspectives. From there, I pray and sit quietly to hear what God has to say to me with regard to applying what I've read, or to hear what He has to say in general. He might remind me of someone, which leads to praying for them.
That's obviously a personal and very limited description of Christian meditation. There can be so many other elements, which are different for different people.
One unique facet of Christian meditation is that it doesn't lead a person to emptying their mind. Rather, the goal is to fill the mind with the presence of God's spirit.
Jim
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3 ReactionsVery cool Jim. actually a lot of my meditation isn't that much different. In Qi Gong we start by saying a password. "I am in the universe, the universe is in my body, the universe and I are one." Then we call on our Master to come and bring their love to help us with our exercises and our meditations. My master always comes, he is a Jewish man in his early 30s, looks to be Aramaic and dresses from an era of probably 2000 years ago. This is the case for many of the people I know who practice Qigong. They are Christians by culture if not by active practice. Many such folks end up with the same master . From that point on I may do one of many guided meditations put out by Master Lim who is fronting Spring Forest Qigong or I may just carry on on my. My favorite is a Qigong Meditation for healing Cancer.
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1 ReactionKeep the mask on your face if you like but please take the mask off your heart. A very important young Jewish man once said to me, "It's not my face you need to recognize, it's my heart."
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1 ReactionAmen can't wait to be out of this pain.What is Remeron?