After treatment: Unclear where there is support, feel isolated

I get it Dana once you’re done with your treatments and surgery. Everyone thinks your back to normal. I feel good most of the time. But you have days you don’t. I had my surgery first week of January 2025 and finished my chemo in April of 2025. I didn’t have immunotherapy didn’t need it. But I still have dumping once in awhile and days I’m fatigued. So I know where you’re coming from. Hang in there it will be get better! Scott

I talked to a therapist who specializes in cancer patients and was herself treated for cancer. I’m very tired of answering the “how are you “ and choose to ignore it and change the subject. Frankly I’m so sick of me and this disease. More than anything I hate “positive attitude “
“your so strong “,etc. I’m functioning on anger fumes to fuel my motivation.

I suppose support groups such as this are the best places to find those experiencing what we do. Yet, there is no substitute for in person contact. Friends, family, and, curiously, even your doctor, are made uncomfortable when a cancer patient discusses their emotional travels. Best wishes and healing to you!

I don't know if this is helpful or not. I was both anxious and down about a year after surgery. I was constantly dwelling on worst case scenarios of recurrence, death, etc. I went on the Psychology Today website and read some articles pertaining to dealing with cancer. One article in particular was helpful. It basically laid out that I had one of two choices. I could live the rest of my life dying or I could choose living each day as best I could. I know that's cliche, but there wasn't a third option. One thing I found that helps is giving back to the community. I got certifications in personal training and donate my services free of charge at my local Y. I get to help others, stay healthy and have a sense of purpose. This is a tough ride so I realize the mental health part is challenging. I sincerely hope you find a way to feel better.

Thanks for listening.
Geoff

Thanks to everyone for support. I think what adds to this is also a funny coincidence...I actually am a therapist for work. So when I say I am the person who people rely on for support...I am not kidding.... 🙂
I suppose things ebb and flow as these things all do...part of the new normal. I also recognize that it is not everyone not being supportive...it is really just a few people who just want to hear that I am "fine" all the time.
I think more than anything I am in that early recovery fear of recurrance and not always knowing where to go with that fear.

Dana, I am not the patient, I am the wife, but this I totally understand what you are going through. This is what I wrote a couple of days ago replying to a patient having eating problems: my husband is 5 years (!) after his surgery and chemo, and he still is not hungry, does not have any appetite and does not enjoy food at all. Due to zincbisglycitate and magnesimbisglycitate he at least has hardly any diarrhea anymore and hardly any dumps, but he is totally under the weather ...yesterday was a bad day, but the 2 weeks before were great. It really takes a lot of time, some don't have any problems others have them for years. But try different supplements, please do so, especially bacteria, vitamins, and magnesium bisglycinateand zinc bisglycinate, not the usual magenisium. Zinc is so important, and we learned this only 4 weeks ago. Since he is taking zinc bisglycinate, he increasingly feels better.....it is a long way, but you will get there...and NEVER EVER give up!!!!!!! ...I know this is not what you were asking for, I only wanted to show you that after 5 years he still feels miserable, he is getting better, though, really much so, but there are day where life is a burden for him, although he is grateful for his second chance, but life is still not easy for him. So, you already get support here, and I am also here to help from a non-patient but affected by it person, so anytime you want to talk, just go ahead. We are all here for you! And we know how you are feeling. You all have one of the most difficult surgeries and chemos behind you (hopefully) and life should feel better than ever, but due to what you have lost microbiom wise and psycholically, the way is long and hard, but it is worth it. Looking forward to help and support you all anytime!!!! Big hug to all of you from the distance

We've been running twice-weekly EC and Esophagectomy Zoom calls for over 5 years now... hundreds have dropped in to chat with their fellow EC patients and caregivers. Calls are Wednesdays at 6pm Eastern, and Sundays at 9am Eastern.

Want to join? I'll post the one-touch Zoom link right here... or I can send you a pm with the link as well.

Gary
Southern California

Hi- I'd love to join but those times are often a struggle for me- but share the link and I'll try....
Thank you!

@deemold

Next call is tomorrow, Wednesday, at 6pm Eastern (3pm for me in California). Sunday calls are 9am Eastern (6am in California). We have EC patients from all over the world join us sometimes. Here's the one-touch Zoom link:
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/4550284795
Be well,

Gary

I just said the exact same thing to my buddy here in the office this morning. I just had my chemo port removed yesterday. Man o man does my chest hurt this morning. but other than that and the major weight loss everyone thinks I'm good to go. Let me tell you I know you are not OK because there is so much more going on with me and you. I don't know if you can message me but my wife and myself would like to chat about our current situation. thanks
Steve Miller