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Need advice for communicating with doctor
Hello, I'm 20 and have ASD and ADHD. Recently I've been having to see my doctor a lot because of some health issues that have come up. She's the doctor for my entire immediate family (mom, dad, little sister) who all love her, but she stresses me out, and I never feel like we're on the same page. For example, 4 years ago we had a call with her to tell her I would like to get an autism diagnosis. I explained to her a few of the reasons I thought I had it, and she told me I did not have it, and that it would be a waste of money. She was obviously very wrong on that one. Whenever I go in with an idea of what I have, I tell her "I think I have xyz because of (insert reasons)". She never listens to that, and always ends up asking my dad to explain my symptoms from his perspective. Luckily he normally just explains the same as me, but sometimes he gets details drastically wrong, and when I try to correct him, she doesn't listen, even if he agrees and corrects himself. That happened today, for example, causing her to think that my issue was way more severe than it is, so she ordered me blood work to be done right away. When I started crying in her office (I've had bad experiences) she thought it was amusing and had to cover her smile while she tried to comfort me by telling me it's going to be horrible, but only because I have a bad attitude. Luckily the blood work went well, but I'm at my wits end with the doctor at this point. I know she cares, but I also know that caring doesn't always translate to being able to help me. Have any of you dealt with anything similar before, and how did you resolve it? I should add, it's not feasible for me to get a different doctor right now.
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@readytogo
I am so sorry to hear that you are having such difficulties with your doctor. I understand that your family has been seeing this doctor but that doesn't mean that you need to continue if you are feeling uncomfortable, unheard, or belittled. The doctor's job is to listen to their patient and advise them as to how to proceed. You should never feel that you're not being heard. Have you looked into switching doctors? Do you have transportation if you were to change doctors? Is this your primary care doctor? If so, have you thought of seeing a doctor who specializes in autism and ADHD? I have a so, Keegan, who has autism, cerebral palsy, and epilepsy. I have had to personally fire several doctors because of the same reasons. They were not listening to me, they thought I was being overprotective, they couldn't see what I saw with my son. This was years ago when he still had a pediatrician. He is now 28 and has wonderful doctors. You have every right to be the best advocate for yourself and to feel comfortable with your physician. I wish you all the luck! Feel free to reach out anytime.
Kerry
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1 Reaction@keeg1010
Thank you for the advice! Unfortunately I wouldn't have transportation if I switched doctors. I only have one potential option that might work. I could look into finding someone who specializes, and if my parents say they won't bring me (they will say it, I know them) I can ask my aunt for help. She lives in another town about an hour away, but she might be willing to send one of my cousins to take me, though it would be hard to go to an appointment without my dad. Or maybe I should try to get my mom to go next time and see what happens... Anyway, thank you for the reply. It's nice to feel heard!
@readytogo
You are not alone and will ALWAYS be heard here. I know how difficult it is to deal with doctors who don't listen. It's so frustrating and completely arrogant. Maybe try taking your mom next time and see how that goes? I'm glad you have family, even if they are an hour away. If things don't go well at your next appointment and you feel like you're not being heard, you have every right to voice your opinion. If things don't change, see what you can work out as far as transportation. I'm not sure where you live or what type of insurance you have but I know some insurance companies will include rides for medical appointments. It just varies from plan to plan, state to state. I am so happy you found this group. I don't know if that was your first post but you are always welcome here. Everyone is wonderful and supportive. You will always be able to reach out and know there are people who care. Take care and keep me posted. I would love to know how things are going.
Kerry
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1 Reaction@keeg1010
Once again, thank you! I live in Canada, so insurance is a bit different here. I'm covered under both of my parents plans, but I don't believe that medical transportation is covered in that way, and another difficulty I just thought of is that I don't actually know how to use the insurance, so I'll have to learn that. Also, this was my first ever post, on any internet group (except for games), not just this one, so your kindness has meant a lot to me. I will definitely try to remember to update next time I have to see the doctor, which should be soon, because I'm waiting for my blood test results, and she said she'd call right away.
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1 Reaction@readytogo
Yes, I understand Canada's insurance is definitely different from here (Arizona). I am glad to hear you are covered under both of your parents' plans. Insurance can be tricky but I'm sure if you ask, your parents will likely explain how it works I'm really glad you found this board. It's a great support system. Definitely update me once you get your blood work back. You got this!
Kerry