@healthme It is difficult to diagnose a true narcissist because they are so charming and able to manipulate well. Finding a shrink or therapist that specializes in personality disorders or is aware of NPD, is my best advice. My father was not diagnosed until well into his 60's and he and my mother had been to MANY therapists over the years. After his diagnosis, he told my mom he would not be "on a couch" for the rest of his life and proceeded to divorce and shatter my mom after 42 years of marriage.

@healthme I have always heard that it is REALLY important to find a lawyer that is familiar with narcissistic personality disorder. My father was diagnosed when he left my mom after 47 years of marriage. Made all these promises to the judge about alimony, etc. That then went to his filing bankruptcy later and screwing her out of money. He also remarried and that is a whole other sh7t show of a story if you are interested. I have forgiven him and was with him when he died. The emotional toll that these people take on the people around them is brutal. Let me know if I can help. Hang in there.