This disease is like a unwanted friend who never leaves. Sure, you can forget about it for a short while, but it always seems to find ways to hit back harder. I remember the days where I got so concerned if people saw my arm swing or not. Did that arm swing seem normal? Am I walking in a weird way? Look in the mirror, assess, yes, I am all right. What about now? Look at that person to see if they suspect me. Ironically, by looking at them, I am making things weirder.

These are the things this disease makes you consider for years until you get used to just existing and dealing with it. But every day is a battle, and if you don't keep on guard, you will find yourself sitting at a desk or in the bathroom for long periods of time waiting for the medicine to kick in , pretending to be all right.

I wish I knew the secret of what causes you to switch from the "off" state to the "on" state. I think that just laying there and doing nothing doesn't help much. You can't quite exercise, but moving around seems to helps. So does distracting your mind. Sometimes. But stress can delay everything, and unless you figure out what the source of the stress is, you remain in the "off" state. If you have asthma or are generally under the weather, that delays things too. Or if you slept badly. Or if you didn't exercise enough the previous day. Or if you didn't eat enough food. Parkinsons can be an equation that you have to solve every day, with only have a vague notion on how to do it.

I think hearing everyone's perspective has been helpful,. Not that misery loves company, more that I am not a complete outlier. Thanks for reading.