Yes .... I think you are asking WAY too much of YOURSELF!
You are worthy of living there by everything you have done, past/present.
It sounds like such beautiful surroundings you. You need to breathe and be in them, even if they are not perfect. That statement is coming from me ... a totally over-the-top perfectionist, who tries to do everything herself. I am still learning every single day that me being like that is truly my own worst enemy...you'd think I would know by now.... NOT!
Just yesterday I got up enough energy to go to the store (took a Clonazepam before leaving so I wouldn't melt down when I was there...) I had full intention of picking up 25 bags of mulch for the garden, that so woefully needs attention. I got there, starting loading up one of those big push carts.... and got to 10 bags. I could not do anymore. Screw it I said, 10 is a start!
The 10 bags are sitting in my driveway now and I will have to go back and get those other bags. I shall sit and try to enjoy the variations of the flowering weeds until I have the time and energy to deal with the next step.
I am S L O W L Y learning that nothing is so important to stress me out so completely.
However difficult/seemingly impossible it is, we have to be kind to ourselves. Worry about how we are doing before all that other "stuff".