@saracha please seek out an Equine Assisted Psychotherapist(EAP) and if nothing you can get to, at least get on a horse. Take lessons on a bareback pad instead of saddle. There’s a connection between the movement of the horse at a walk to our brain that calms trauma, and increases thinking and decision making a utilities as well as speech. The. There’s just that wonderful feeling of empowerment. Hope you get to trail ride too.