Connect
Comment receiving replies
I was diagnosed Bipolar and Borderline in 2020 by a psychologist. Nobody told me I was Bipolar. I only recently found out because I was looking at old ER records. The clinic at the time got sold and finding my medical records was difficult, actually still trying to get. I felt very angry because it felt like a part of me that I should have known. The two together are insufferable. I can’t manage it. Talk therapy has never helped (13+ years of it), I’ve been put in a group home as a teen and watched overnight in the ER. No stays because I have children now and I just can’t do that. I’m graduating a PHP tomorrow but it feels so docile. Like it only targets minor depression and other minor symptoms. Anxiety and major depression have been with me for my whole life. I feel like it was a waste. I will soon be starting a DBT program and trauma therapy finally after years of asking for help. Please tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel. I have a complex trauma history and everything too so it doesn’t help. How can I help manage Borderline and Bipolar?
Replies to "I was diagnosed Bipolar and Borderline in 2020 by a psychologist. Nobody told me I was..."
@saracha please seek out an Equine Assisted Psychotherapist(EAP) and if nothing you can get to, at least get on a horse. Take lessons on a bareback pad instead of saddle. There’s a connection between the movement of the horse at a walk to our brain that calms trauma, and increases thinking and decision making a utilities as well as speech. The. There’s just that wonderful feeling of empowerment. Hope you get to trail ride too.
@saracha , have you verified the notation in your medical record from the ER is correct? In reviewing my own medical records, as well as those of my parents as their caregiver, I have discovered plenty of mistakes. I’d explore how and why they wrote that, especially when you were not informed. Best wishes with your treatment and congratulations on your graduation!
@saracha DBT is a great way to start after PHP. DBT changes the way the brain works and helps to learn how to look inside as well as being part of a group of others that understand. I have been in trauma therapy for a long time. It is a process. Baby steps, but you can do this! Complex trauma lacks research, but I know that there is a light that shines on this journey. I am learning to ground myself when my thoughts start spinning out of control. Due to complex trauma, there are a lot of conversations going on inside of my head. I use anger as a shield. We develop survival skills over time with complex trauma. Usually, if I am triggered and I become really angry, I know that that anger is stepping up to protect me. It is usually fear based. You will learn so much in DBT as well as therapy. Thank you so much for writing and please do so again!!
@saracha
Definitely Light. Look in the area of Trauma leading to powerful defense mechanisms such as splitting (borderline) and bi-polar. Donald Kalsched) Forget the labels for a minute.
Your "diagnoses" may really be the ways your brain re-wired itself to protect you from the traumatic explosions. Your work now, using all methodologies including DBT, CBD, Vagus nerve stimulation, philosophy, Mayo connect, Zen meditation, EMDR, horseback riding, as Woody Allen says WHATEVER WORKS, is to let the brain know things are OK, if they are, and it can go forward to it's original face-or as near as possible.
Connect
@saracha - that is a lot to deal with simultaneously with bipolar and borderline, and I'm hoping you have extremely good medical/mental health care to help you through it.
I truly hope the DBT program will be helpful to you. Is a doctor connected to the DBT program managing your care?