Connect
← Return to How do you find balance while caregiving?
Discussion
How do you find balance while caregiving?
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Jun 18 2:37pm | Replies (48)Comment receiving replies
I am currently reading a book called "Loving Someone Who Has Dementia" by Pauline Boss, PhD.
It has been very helpful to me in learning how to view how the changes in my husband are affecting our marriage. The marriage relationship is different from what it was but that is not necessarily bad, just different. I believe he still loves me and gives to me as he is now able. Silver lining, he no longer gives me grief when I want to redecorate or buy something he thinks we don't need. Now I buy whatever pleases me and lifts me up.
It also addresses the ambiguous loss of your loved one. The being there and not being there. I am learning to accept the changes and value the new different relationship. I needed to change my view to see that each day he is still here presents an opportunity for positive experiences for him and for me. God bless you all.
Replies to "I am currently reading a book called "Loving Someone Who Has Dementia" by Pauline Boss, PhD...."
@ocdogmom If you found the book helpful, I highly recommend the course based on it. There are in-person and on-line options. The next on-line course starts in early June. See https://meaningandhope.org/videos-finding-meaning-hope/
Connect
@ocdogmom I don't know if this is the right thread to post this but here it is anyway.
I have been doing an aggressive "downsizing" and getting rid of things my husband will never again use. It is sad for me because these things reflect the life we used to have. So maybe this is good for me, to not have to look at the evidence of our former life. This has been going on for at least a month. I also started to get rid of things that I thought I would never use again, mostly things I would use for having a dinner party and entertaining. Something that I have always enjoyed but now do not have the mental energy to do. Yesterday I had an epiphany. I will have a life after this is all over. Probably a really fun and fulfilling life that will include entertaining friends, new and old. So I am keeping some things because I can now see that really good things can and probably will happen in the future. I don't have to know exactly when but the belief that they will has changed my outlook for today.