@crabby55 I can only say that depression is a disease and like any other disease it needs to be treated.
My first real episode happened my second year of college. I had no idea what it was other than the fact it was a terrifying experience. I cycled in and out of depression for years and finally on the cover of Time magazine was a pill called Prozac. It was the first major breakthrough in the treatment of depression called SSRI’s. I read the article and called my PCP the next day. Long story short I finally had a name for what I had been suffering from for years.
Your husband is retired and I am assuming he has a good PCP. Have him set up an appointment and go with him if you have to. His doctor hopefully has some knowledge on depression and can prescribe a good SSRI. I have been taking Zoloft/ Sertraline along with Buspar and Wellbutrin for the last 35 years. It unfortunately can take six to eight weeks to fully get in his system but it will and like many medications he will have to take it the rest of his life. If Zoloft is not the answer there are many other SSRI’s out there. Depression is a real disease and there is help. Most SSRI’s are now generic so the cost is minimal.
Millions of people suffer from depression and the stigma is no longer what it used to be. Famous people from all walks of life have come forward with their stories.
Your husband has a choice. He can live the rest of his life being miserable or he can get help.
Hopefully with your help he gets help.
Good luck.

@crabby55
Your husband would benefit from being in a group of people who have depression. I joined one and it changed my life.
He needs a psychiatrist and a therapist. Psychiatrists are good for medication but therapists are good for talk, which he desperately needs. And you need a group too, to help you cope.

@crabby55

May 19 from conniey
There are effective treatments for depression. Since your husband seems to have severe (clinical) depression, he should definitely be seeing a well trained psychiatrist. Often patients with depression get prescriptions for psychotropic meds from a primary care provider, including anti-depressants. A good psychiatrist is much better qualified to prescribe these medications, and to help your husband determine effective doses. Often patients are helped by a combination of different medications. Again, an experienced psychiatrist will have much more expertise in exploring combinations of different medications, in order to help your husband to feel better, than a primary care provider. Of course, it will be important that he take the medication as prescribed, and he should be monitored by the psychiatrist on a regular basis. Your husband can also discuss any side effects of the medications with his treating psychiatrist. If he will sign a release, then you can also talk to his psychiatrist about his care, and ask the psychiatrist questions about your husband's treatment. You can also give the psychiatrist valuable information about what you have observed with regard to your husband's mood, and his struggles.

A good psychotherapist, seen on a regular basis, should be consulted for ongoing therapy. You might have to let your husband "shop around" for a therapist he feels comfortable with, and one who can provide helpful and effective therapy. Of course, he will probably want to look for a therapist who is covered by his health insurance.

Regular exercise is usually helpful to people suffering from depression. It takes persistence and determination for a depressed person to get plenty of exercise, even when he/she does not feel motivated to get exercise. The patient often has to push himself/herself to get exercise often, and for long enough periods of time. You might be able to start by going on walks outside with him, in order to encourage him to get exercise. That is an area where your participation and encouragement could be helpful.

For yourself, you might want to look into what is offered in your area by the DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Disorder Support Alliance -- http://www.dbsalliance.org) and by NAMI -- The National Alliance for Mental Illness. The DBSA has support groups, for patients, and also for the family members and loved ones of patients, all over the country.

NAMI is also a nationwide organization, with many support groups. NAMI (www.nami.org) also offers a 12 week course titled "From Family to Family", which is for the family members of those with major mental illnesses, to help them learn about the illness, and also to help them learn coping skills. You can check the web site to find out when the next Family to Family course will begin in your area, and sign up to enroll. As far as I know, there is no charge for this 12-week course.

Both NAMI and the DBSA offer support groups for patients. These groups are usually facilitated by a trained volunteer. It might be helpful to your husband to join such a support group, and attend on a regular basis. He could "shop around" by attending different support groups in your area, before deciding which one or ones he would like to join and attend on a regular basis. Tha patients in these support groups often help and support each other. Sometimes, lasting friendships are developed in a support group.