When we are bullied, we think it's our fault, that it's something about me that causes the bullying.
But bullying is really caused by things wrong in the bullying person and sometimes by a social sickness in the school or neighborhood.
It is really hard to get past this feeling that there is "something innately wrong with me."

I spent a lot of time trying different thoughts, noticing how my feelings followed my thoughts.
Eventually I began to have some ability to play with my feelings and thoughts and I got better at it.

Learning to just be here because we're all biological accidents can be very freeing.
My dog is just here, she doesn't have a reason or purpose beyond "now," and that can be a good way to be.

@papersoup A lot of what @edsutton said is so true! When we are bullied, either overtly or by snide comments, no matter our age, it seems to plant a seed in our hearts and mind. And then it might grow into something seemingly out of our control. Nothing we seem to tell ourselves makes it better, makes us like ourselves better. Even on those "good days". We see ourselves through the eyes and comments of others, and it can be downright disheartening, right?!

I bet there are a lot of us here who have felt the same way you have expressed. While there is no magic pill to take, no magic words to say to make it better right away, here is what I have done. Think about those things you have accomplished that were what you wanted to do, and how happy you are to have done it. It doesn't have to be anything major. Did you plant a garden and things actually grew? Did you take a class you always wanted to study? Did you try a recipe that looked overwhelming and it turned out great? Did you train for a sporting event and then did it? Little things are still positive steps. Now, think of those who were bullying you. Maybe they were the popular kids in school; where are they now? Are they happy in their lives? You, by virtue of simply doing some things you wanted to do, and worked hard to do them, have triumphed. Yes, it takes repeatedly doing positive self-talk, but recognizing you have this dilemma, look at it as a challenge, and take it on! Do you think you could try this?
Ginger

I'm a 67 year old geezer who has never looked or felt "normal", whatever that is nowadays. I really don't like seeing myself in the bathroom mirrors, or in the reflection of a store window because I'm such a freak. Whenever my wife and I get back from running errands, or having a meal out and I use the bathroom it's just a reminder of how lucky I am to have a wife who isn't embarrassed to be seen with me in public. I've actually thanked her several times over the years for going out with a crazy old man like myself.
My avatar isn't Mr. Macabre for nothing, I've been a fan of anything Halloween, horror, Satanic, occult, evil, or dark my entire life. I've been a metal head since the late 70's, and listen to Death and/or Black metal music for several hours a day. I've worn a black concert or heathen T shirt everyday for more than 40 years, my collection of shirts fills up an entire closet by itself. I'm heavily tattooed in occult, pagan, Halloween, and Satanic artwork. I have longish hair and a long goatee, yet our 4 grandkids aren't afraid of me. I've also been told by family, friends, and coworkers that I look like a serial killer, which I've always taken as a compliment.
The point I'm trying, and failing to make is this, you are who you are, and nothing can change that(deep huh?). Just try and be your version of "normal", and don't worry about what other people's opinions are.

First of all, you ARE NORMAL!
Having thoughts about yourself that feel terrible are exactly what make you a normal human being. Just about every person on this planet has negative thoughts and feelings, myself included! (Have you noticed that my picture is my dog)
As Ginger said, there certainly isn’t a magic pill to make you better but if your thoughts have a element of chemical imbalance to them, there may be a medication that could help you to start the process of healing. I think seeing a therapist or psychiatrist wouldn’t hurt.
Some people may be comfortable calling themselves freaks or any number of names (Mayo wouldn’t like what I call myself) but in the end, I don’t think there really is some set in stone definition of normal. Normal is INFINITE!!!

You seem quite perceptive, methodical, and thorough in your own description of this flaw that has hollowed out so much from your life itself, making YOU, all of you, reduce into someone who has No SUBSTANCE to feel good about. As if you are saying to yourself: Sure u work, make a living and pay bills and taxes, BUT is that what makes you Good -- Good Enough to Walk in a crowd, in a community, a country, Humanity?

A quick look at the Mayo's site about this condition tells us that it is a "perceived" not something concrete. That is a great news. YOU are telling yourself: You are worthless, someone this world does Not need, or cares about. Huh, the baby or the toddler in us never thinks so. As soon as it felt hunger it cried and milk was provided and as Soon as its Hunger disappeared it looked around, the Life and Nature around. The toddler was not thinking of 'self-care" when it wanted to stand to explore the world, but fallen endlessly on its bum.

In other words nature has done its job pretty well to help us live a FULL life. And as we become adult when our Mental abilities mature, we begin to NATURALLY ask even MORE out of our lives. And that something is becoming ever more pressing in the Affluent world we live today. We want to live a life that MATTERS, too. It so happens there are two recent books that have come on the scene about mattering instinct. It is also called having a PURPOSE in life. As an old man in 80s, I too will feel bad -- nay, Hate -- myself if I did not spend my time on earth in ways that went beyond satisfying my biological needs.

Your life belongs to you And others around you -- be they people or nature. Each finds its own way to Contribute. You will flower when you use Your unique strengths nature has endowed you with.
It'll indeed be good to know your progress.

@papersoup I can relate. I have had thoughts just like yours. I have severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and I think you might have have OCD. The good news is that OCD is treatable! The evidenced based treatment is called Exposure-Response Prevention. Many of us also use an SSRI, like Zoloft as well. You are not alone. Please go to the website of the International OCD Foundation http://www.iocdf.org for lots of helpful information. Another resource is: http://www.treatmyocd.com