@rebeccagrover
I became my husband's Power of Attorney, and had to sign a special form from the Healthcare Administration allowing me to speak on my husband's behalf, and hear all info pertaining to his Healthcare, attend his appointments, take calls from his Docs, etc.
Good luck.

@rebeccagrover It has been my experience as an RN with over 45 years of experience dealing with patients and families that YOU the caregiver who sees the patient day in and day out are the one person whose opinion of what is happening with your loved one is most valuable. I have had family members say that there's something wrong with the patient but they can't name it, they just know something is different and concerning. And I believe what they have to say. What I did when I noticed that my husband was having memory issues was to discuss this over the phone with his internist. He had no problem discussing this with me because he knows I have durable power of attorney for health care for my husband. If you don't have a DPA for health care for your husband, I would get one as soon as possible. You could frame it as you wanting to know what his wishes are for future care. You can download this form from your state medical association. My husband has had the mental acuity test that is done in the doctor's office for the last 5 years. The doctor framed it as part of his yearly exam. It shows a continued decline in his mental capacity. He has not had a brain scan to test for dementia. At the time it was suggested he said he didn't want it because it would only tell him what he already knows. He is a retired physician. He has had the lab test for amyloid plaques and tau particles. The result was negative so he doesn't have Alzheimer's but probably has vascular dementia as did his father. His interest agrees. He has physical problems such as being unsteady on his feet and has fallen 3 times in the last year, broken rib, fractured vertebrae and subdural hemorrhage. Most people don't realize that as dementia progresses, the patient loses peripheral vision. They see as if they are looking through a pair of binoculars. I would strongly suggest that you read/learn everything you can about dementia in general. It will probably validate what you already know but more importantly it will give you the terminology to name what you are seeing in your husband's behavior. I have taken 4 live/online Dementia caregiver courses offered by Dementia Specialist Teepa Snow. You can find her online. I learned SO much and it gave me the knowledge of how to cope with the dementia behaviors and my reactions/feelings about them. This I think is an important way to take care of yourself going forward. God bless you. Keep posting here. We all understand how difficult and frustrating this journey is for both you and your husband.

@rebeccagrover Change docs!!