@elainer12 I haven’t walked in your shoes but yes I do. As part of their faith (different from yours) it’s still common for marriages to be arranged.

I don’t know what went wrong in your marriage that you feel so guilty.

Why are your husband’s anger issues your responsibility?

If there’s “blame” or “responsibility” for how so many things turned out (including your children’s struggles) there are surely many causes.

Even marriages entered into with both parties in love can have great difficulties. (My parent’s marriage was one of those and yes it affected my siblings and I. Yet on becoming adults it became our own responsibility to deal with our issues, which we did. I went into therapy and also take medication for anxiety, my brother too went into therapy is a recovering high functioning alcoholic and my sister is very religious).

It’s easy to say “don’t blame yourself” or “forgive yourself” but the question remains “What for?” I’m trying to understand why you carry such a huge burden of guilt on your shoulders and whether it’s all yours to carry.

Hopefully you can work out your part and also make peace with your part. You say you did your best to be a good wife and mother. God wouldn’t ask for more ❤️‍🩹

@elainer12

Here is my perspective. People marry for many reasons.....some conscious and some not.
"Love" often has nothing to do with it.
Don't sacrifice the vitality and joy of an ever so short life by martyring your self to regret. There is no value in that. Give yourself the compassion we all deserve for fumbling through a life that no one teaches how to live. Get out there with courage and breathe life into the dreams you used to have and enjoy. We are here to learn. Don't give up one precious moment to regret.