Regret: A decision made and I've lost purpose & motivation

@rashida Well, thank you!

I can’t recall specifically meeting a Canadian but if things are as you say I’m sure the meeting would go well.

After some responses - all positive - and reconsidering parts of the initial post I’m thinking how important simple courtesies are. My mother, and most of the mothers of my friends, would not hesitate to remind any of us, in that gaggle of young boys from our neighborhood, to be polite and mind our manners. We would often roll our eyes but quietly comply.

I’m sensing that doesn’t happen today as kids don’t appear to be concerned, or aware of courtesies. Courtesy is kind of a social lubricant, allowing us to move among others with minimum fuss. It’s also a kind of leadership that we older folks can exhibit for all the younger ones. Maybe we can’t do much or possibly even support ourselves without assistance but we can be courteous. I don’t mean being flowers or wimpy but human beings are still important despite their most productive period of life being in the past. That will happen to everyone eventually.

@nycmusic So very true. This is an excellent post dealing with sliding door moments and decisions that unknown to us at the time change our lives for ever.

As a family we moved continents 3 times due to the political situation in my country of birth. Those weren’t my choices as a child, but even so there are times I do wonder how my life would have turned out. I miss that I lost my peer group, that I didn’t go to university with them and didn’t get to build my life with them. But I am also grateful for the other experiences I had.

There have been many decisions since then that have changed the course of my life (like gradually investing my life in my career, ending up not getting married despite opportunities and as a result not having children - but accepting and enjoying my nephews and nieces instead). Those accumulation of life altering decisions are what they are.

I’m lucky that I’ve been able to accept what is. I’ve had a wonderful and fulfilling life. I truly loved my job and being around my workmates and clients. I’ve been free to do so much like travel to work and travel for fun.

It would be so great if there was reincarnation and we could have a do over of those sliding door choices and so experience everything without losing any of it!!

Pushing 82, on my way (with a little luck and a lot of intentional living) to 100, and along the way I've made plenty of regrettable decisions. But I was also gifted with the advice that you can't go forward and keep looking back - eventually you're gonna walk into a telephone pole and get hurt really badly!

@isadora2021 —Have you read the books on reincarnation by Ian Stevenson, MD and Jim Tucker, MD, both of the University of Virginia? This isn’t woo-woo but accounts of ongoing research into children who spontaneously recall previous lives.
Convincing, but I wouldn’t say I totally believe it. It does cheer me up, tho’. They have some fascinating case reports.

I can suggest ways to victory, but no victory ever came easily or cost little....just sayin'. This is where you dig deep and rid yourself of guilt, woulda/coulda/shoulda, and make a grownup out of yourself in a way you struggle with at present:
Faith
Confession
Journaling
Volunteering/mentoring (the latter requires introspection, self examination, drawing conclusions from experience, and then being able to demonstrate the logic behind what you propose that others do/don't do)

You can't let your past go because it is untidy and unfinished. Finish it. Put it to rest once and for all, let it go, and be the improved person you can be for having lived your experience with it. Look at it this way: if you were to die in your sleep tonight, would you like it to be as you are today, or as you would be tomorrow had you awakened with a clear conscience?

One last statement from me: In Christ, all is forgiven. If you repent, and are in love and in charity with your neighbor, then you have served your purpose, the purpose we all have in life. I'm going to go out on a limb and wonder if you have lived the life of a hedonist because of your artistic bent (this is just on the basis of likelihood, or of probability, not an accusation or a judgement...certainly not from me). If you are sick of that orientation and would like something more pithy, more personally demanding, then look on Christ. The way to deal with your sordid past or mistake is to turn your back on it. Make it a thing of your past, not of your future. Turn to Christ.

@isadora2021 —Have you read the books on reincarnation by Ian Stevenson, MD and Jim Tucker, MD, both of the University of Virginia? This isn’t woo-woo but accounts of ongoing research into children who spontaneously recall previous lives.
Convincing, but I wouldn’t say I totally believe it. It does cheer me up, tho’. They have some fascinating case reports.

@5148branelly I'm about halfway through "Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Life Between Lives" by Dr. Michael Newton. Started out being very intriguing, now I'm not so sure... reading more like a novel. He (Dr. Newton) died (this time?) in 2016, and I'm wondering if he's still out there someplace.

@capnjack—IDK if he’s alive. Some of the researchers at UVA don’t think his work is serious—in part b/c he uses hypnosis which introduces a 50% error rate.