Alcoholism and Holiday Celebrations

Hi @olivia22819,

You have undoubtedly become quite strong in your resolve to live "alcohol-free." Did you invest time in support groups or other means in order to break the cycle of alcoholism for yourself and your family?

Unfortunately I didn’t gain access to any support groups per se. With prayer and being around a number of non drinkers helps. Also I went through so much and I have seen my mom hit the step above rock bottom, I was just determined not to go the route that she did. My mom inspires me more than she knows even with her addiction.

@olivia22819 That is great. It sounds like you turned a bad example into a different life.

yes ma'am

Hi - as the holidays approach this season, I'm recalling adults who hand out beers to parents of trick-or-treaters and also the alcohol associated with various events for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's and other holy holidays.

Wondering what you would suggest to others who have dealt with alcoholism (personally or with a loved one) for strategies to deal with alcohol at these events @moncrdeb @klmz @johnwhitfield @luckonetj @mcmurf2 @Gray @brit @georgette12?

I got sober in October of 1981 and dreaded the approaching holidays! On Halloween I thought everyone else in the world was drinking, and that drove me to my first AA meeting, when I'd already been dry for a couple weeks.
In my experience, "No, thank you" is usually all I need. People other than myself are just not paying very much attention to who's drinking what. If pressed, "I'm driving" or "I'm on medication" are enough, and if asked about what medication, "I'd rather not discuss it."
Giving beer to parents of trick or treaters sounds just bizarre. "I don't drink around the kids" is true enough, since you don't drink without them either.
Anyone who tries to pressure you after you politely declined alcohol has a problem with etiquette, alcohol, or both. Happy holidays!

Hi, @trainwreck54 - Yes, I've noted a growing trend with neighbors giving out beer to parents of trick or treaters on Halloween as we've been out with our kids in the past few years. I think it's an attempt to make it inclusive and fun for the parents. Seems to make it a popular stop, I've noted.

You've offered some great tips and advice for situations where others are drinking.

Over the years since you got sober, have you found holidays more challenging related to alcohol, or other situations?

Yes I find the Holidays extremely difficult!!! As I watch others without a drinking problem, I often feel anxious , punished that I can’t enjoy a few festive drinks without heading back down that dark path. Then I feed the idea I can have just one. Anxiety builds and I become angry .
Nancy

@nanners012910 Hello Nancy,

I really appreciate your honest expression of how you feel when you avoid alcohol in social situations. When you say, "Anxiety builds and I become angry" I wonder if you have any tools or thoughts of dealing with that anxiety/anger. For example, have you tried some deep breathing or remembering what life was like when you were, as you said, "heading back down that dark path." Will you post again?

I will post again, I also have major social anxiety depression, issues. I have been prescribed controlled medication I.e. Xanax and kluonpin. Whim in and of itself can become an issue for an addiction person. I do practice deep breathing also walking fast. I was a functioning alcoholic for many years. Hit rock bottom that affected my home and personal relationships and trouble with employer. I think the best advise is not to go to a function if you’re not in a good place w your sobriety. I struggle daily to this day. Both sets of my grandparents were alcoholic as well as my father. I took my first drink when I was 12. Am 54 now.