Am I autistic or just a highly sensitive introvert?

Hi all!

Firstly, let me apologise in advance for the War & Peace-length bulletpoint memoir.

I recently took the Myers-Briggs test and my result was INTJ, which a colleague told me is often what individuals with autism have. A few people throughout my adult life have asked if I had ever been diagnosed with autism. There are definitely some aspects I relate to, and then others I don’t relate to at all. The waiting list to see a mental health professional in the UK is 6 months plus at the moment, so I wanted to seek some initial advice here before proceeding, in case the answers to my question could be found here.

I would be so interested to know if other forum members recognise any of the below traits as consistent with autism. The research I have done is so overwhelming and varies so much, it can be hard to self assess and I don’t want to end up convincing myself of something prematurely.

Traits which seem consistent with autism:
* I tend to like spending time on my own. I love spending time with friends too, but I need to have time to prepare for it mentally and make myself look forward to it. Sometimes I will go to a party and I will just want to go home straight away and find the situation exhausting, especially if it involves making conversation with people. I often find myself taking a break in an empty room or toilet. If I go into a social situation and people are friendly I will feel only mildly uncomfortable, but if people are stand-offish then I will get extremely stressed and usually leave.
* I struggle with having people in my space for prolonged periods of time or people being messy or inconsiderate in my space. This makes me disproportionately angry. My partner’s mother came over for a week and the first few days were fine, but after that I just felt her presence irritating me. I didn’t want to have to make constant conversation and to be ‘on’ all the time. I felt trapped.
* I am not a fan of small talk. I enjoy deep philosophical conversations and I have noticed that sometimes other people will try and change the topic of conversation because it’s too ‘heavy’. I enjoy talking about these sorts of things and small talk seems pointless and inane to me. I love analysing and questioning things and no question is too deep or heavy for me. These sorts of questions don’t make me feel depressed or sad as they seem to make other people feel.
* People tell me I see the world differently and that my way of thinking through things is unusual. I’ve been told I ask unusual questions.
* The running joke with my boyfriend is that I listen to the same music over and over again. If I like a song I can listen to it on repeat, it satisfies me to do this.
* I hate changes in plan or when plans I’ve made don’t work out. It makes me feel disproportionately frustrated or upset.
* Making and maintaining eye contact. I will make eye contact briefly and then usually look away. I find making eye contact extremely uncomfortable during any sort of sexual scenario in particular, to the point where my eyes are usually closed for the duration. I thought I was shy and have tried many times to overcome this but feel too uncomfortable.
* I love memorising lists of information. As an adult I memorised every US president, every country in the world, every movie to win a Best Picture Oscar. I find it very satisfying acquiring information in this way.
* I hate loud noises and struggle to concentrate if there is any repetitive sound or loud noise. I cannot have music on in the background while working or studying, it makes me feel like someone is screaming in my face.
* I’ve noticed that subconsciously I will shake my left leg - it can be in bed or at work, anywhere. I also subconsciously stroke my hair with my hand. I only noticed I did these things when others pointed them out. I also have a fixation on cutting the split ends of my hair.
* I can be too honest sometimes. I have learnt not to do this with regards to other people’s lives, but if someone asks me how I am and something is going on with me, I find it hard to not just be honest. I’ve noticed sometimes this makes people uncomfortable.
* I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a teenager due to mood swings (from overjoyed and interested in something too reserved and disinterested). They then told me I wasn’t bipolar, but couldn’t account for the mood fluctuations I was experiencing.
* I felt very isolated as a child and would read and write a lot. I felt abnormal and different from my peers (like I was over sensitive or over analysed situations they didn’t - I still feel like this sometimes). My parents would get angry at me for being either too shy/rude or too enthusiastic and hyper about something, so I learnt to act more normal but always felt very different.
* I do still have quite an obsessive personality. I was obsessed with Game of Thrones and struggle to not talk about it at length if someone brings it up (it’s a running joke in my family). I can sit on YouTube and watch the same sort of videos for hours and hours. I have noticed I particularly love reaction videos (college decision reactions, reactions to songs or sad moments in tv shows). Something about watching other people express emotion, particularly joy, is intriguing to me.
* I struggle not to correct people if they say something wrong. I know it sounds so rude but I have to really bite my tongue.

Traits not consistent with autism:
* I do like spending time with other people, just not very often and not for prolonged periods of time. I don’t find it difficult interacting with true friends.
* Many people have told me that I come across as very extroverted and confident. I think I have taught myself how to behave like this, rather than it being who I actually am, but I don’t know if if I had autism I would be able to turn this on and off (I do find it very draining put on the extroverted persona).
* Most of the above things are things I feel on the inside but things that barely anyone (beside perhaps my boyfriend) would notice in the moment. I don’t know whether these are things that everyone experiences and I’m just glossing over them as all people do, or whether I have just been conditioned to suppress my real feelings in order to avoid social awkwardness.
* I have never had trouble making friends or maintaining friendships. While I do sometimes struggle to click with people, I have always been able to find 'my people' in any setting, whether it be school, university, work.

As a child:
I was very quiet, very shy, but also a bit of a know it all when I felt comfortable (ie with family). I used to obsessively read quiz books and encyclopaedias to learn as much as possible. I found a book on arabic and wrote diary entries in simplified arabic. I collected teabag sleeves (don’t ask). I fantasised about being someone else. I became obsessive about certain historical topics (Anastasia Romanov, the Titanic, Henry VIII, Queen Victoria). I liked playing on my own with dolls and did this until quite late (12 or 13 years old).