MCI progression, radio silence wanted

@memoriestomoments I can't begin to thank you for your post and the link to the COmpassionate Communication. It's so true. and so readable with what we need to remember. I have a husband with MCI, still independent, but very forgetful, and little follow through on anything that requires problem solving. So different from him in the past. Interesting enough, I have a periodontist, who's still practicing, up there in years, and apparently has some dementia. I'm struggling with an infection to an implant, and Thursday's visit to him, with a procedure he had done earlier that didn't work, and now has to be redone over again. Based on the his outburst, and his inabilty to remember, what he had done, let alone read through his notes, now I'm questioning what to do with going back in to have him redo the procedure. I keep remembering the periodontist outburst, and what he said to me, attacking me for what he didn't understand. I used short statements. I tried desperately, to communicate, and couldn't. So I walked out of his office, they schedule an hour comeback, and now I'm left with what to do, who to go to, and how to handle it, since it's obvious he's still working an abbreviated schedule and he's having trouble and his office knows it. Reading your link, gave me clarity, and also in helping me deal with what I'm struggling with at home. Thank you. I love this connect site. and the caregivers and mentors in it.

@kjc48 oh my goodness! How terrible for you. I am so glad that it is clear what is going on with your periodontist. People do a lot of damage tto their own finances etc when their dementia is not as noticeable. But someone in the medical profession can affect so many other people’s life’s irreversibly! Trust your instincts. By all means stop and go elsewhere. I am rather frugal but do not cut any corners when it comes to de tal care because I have known people who have suffered terribly from ba dental work.

Not to mention that he yelled at you!

I am sorry that you are having to deal with that as well as the situation at home.
(Please consider reporting him to the relevant dental board or board of health. It is a heartbreaking thing to have to do, but he is danger to others).

All the best.

@memoriestomoments Thank you for giving me clarity, as I keep thinking I overreacted. But I know I didn't. It was clear to me the dentist had no idea what was going on, didn't like what I was trying to tell him, couldn't easily get through his notes, and there was no assistant there to lead him, like what was done when I had the procedure done. I'm going to send his practice a note on Monday, to see if I can get the partner in the practice to do the procedure since they have the records and I paid (not covered by insurance, I'm sure they'll say no, and I'm going to have to find someone else. But you helped me here. It's amazing to me, what this disease does, and the lengths people will go to deny and situaton and allow (in this case) him to still practice. Yes, he yelled at me, but that goes hand and hand with the disease where they get angry, and attack due to their inability to understand what's going on. Very upsetting...but even with my husband's MCI, he also said find someone else. Thanks, again for reaching out.

@141942 Do what I did. I wrote a note in the portal to the doctor. Told her upfront what was going on and my concern over my husband's memory loss. Asked if she could be seen with both of us in the room together so we discussed both of our ailments, that way it looked more like, a health check for both of us. We had mold in our house, and I was able to leverage that so I don't know if you have some "lead in" you can use, which helped me in getting my husband into the primary care. But it helped, and from that visit, that day, the doctor tested him, and suggested he been seen by a neurologist and explained gently, that memory loss at this age isn't uncommon, but she thought more might be going on, and an MRI and Pet scan with a neurologist would help determine if there was something to be concerned about.

My husband was diagnosed with MCI two years ago and he was reluctant to let anyone know as well. It didn’t help that his older family doctor told him not to pursue brain scans because once he got a diagnosis , he wouldn’t be able to travel? We found a wonderful psychologist who has her phd in neuro psychology and she’s guided us. I found out last month that the changes in his brain are vascular. He’s 73 and the specialist says he has the brain of an 80 year old. I’m 68. Also, his executive functioning is impaired which means his filter doesn’t work as well and I’m never sure what’s going to come out of his mouth.

I share this because even though it’s still MCI and he’s still functioning, the behaviour changes are becoming very noticeable. I privately started sharing with close friends and family because I needed the support. Our closest friends have been wonderful with him and I have a network now I can lean on or have a good cry with if I need it.

I’m trying to consider his needs through all of this but it’s a difficult journey. Last week he got frustrated when I was trying to help with his computer and he bit my elbow. Not hard but it was a first. It had my emotions spinning.

I think that trying to hide the diagnosis will be difficult for you as symptoms change. I don’t envy your decision but remember that you need support as well. Big hugs.

@marketlink I am in the same boat as you. I am 67 and my husband is 70 and I am going through the exact thing you described. I just starting sharing with friends.