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How do I add aging issues to a life I have never been happy in?

Posted by grasping @grasping, Jan 31 5:24pm

I can relate to all I have read in this aging forum except, as I always find, I mostly feel physically ugly and have felt this way my whole life. Age just makes everything worse for me. I know aging is hard but when I add it to the fact that I have hated myself my whole life, it is unbearable. Been to many doctors and therapist thru the years to no avail. I cannot tolerate any serotonin drugs that may help me. The last straw for me was when, 6 months ago, I had my upper teeth removed because of failing crowns and bridge work. I had implants place and am now getting near the date to get my permanent implant crowns place. The problem is my face has aged at least 10 years because of having no teeth. I wish I never would have done this, I have no faith that my dentist will be able to make my facial structure look any better with the implants. Once again I did something to make me feel better about myself and it will not work out that way in the end. I have not enjoyed my life and aging is a cruel way of going out in my opinion. I do not have the inner self esteem I need to make this horrible life journey.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

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grasping | @grasping | Feb 8 11:57am

Yes, I will post my results. Thank you for your response.

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grasping | @grasping | Feb 8 12:12pm
In reply to @margaretfriel "@kayraymat Finding a Good cosmetic surgeon took some time. I started by asking my GP. He..." + (show)
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@kayraymat
Finding a Good cosmetic surgeon took some time. I started by asking my GP. He had several suggestions, it took some time to find patients who'd used them, some happy, some 'not-so much'! Then I asked some people I was acquainted with who worked in the local Hospital ER. They see Patients who've been in accidents & needed reconstructive surgery, they suggested several Dr.'s. As well I was acquainted (socially) with several Nurses who had hospital experience, they suggested several names. 2 Dr.'s names kept coming up with most of the people I'd asked, so I made appointments with each of them & chose the one I felt most comfortable with. He turned out to be "Just What The Patient Ordered!" We were Both happy with the results.

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I am happy for you.

Yahoo Mail: Search, Organize, Conquer

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psmith7959 | @psmith7959 | Feb 8 9:56pm

Hello. Have you considered pursuing individual psychotherapy with a licensed behavioral health specialist. I found personal therapy during life changes as beneficial. Also, you can join a support group. You can adjust.

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hopenr | @hopenr | Feb 9 8:08am
In reply to @gunshy "I am praying for you. God loves you just as your are. You are precious in..." + (show)
Profile picture for gunshy @gunshy

I am praying for you. God loves you just as your are. You are precious in His sight. Childhood can have adverse effects and lead us to believe an untruth about ourselves. I, too, have done things that, too, I thought would make things better, and they have made them worse. Now I rely as much as I can on God's wisdom through prayer.
I hope this doesn't offend you. I am just sharing what worked for me. God bless you!

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@gunshy I have no answers other than a lot of cliche's. I have lived a joyful life but it has nothing to do with any external factors. Somehow I was lucky enough to know that the happiness is a choice. Reading Mans Search for Meaning turned a light on for me. What I want you to know is that I am sending you thoughts of love and wish you the best.

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carmine100 | @carmine100 | Feb 9 9:06am

Give yourself a reason for tomorrow. Here in NJ it was bitterly cold all month. Only three days where it made it to freezing. Last weekend we had a foot of snow which turned to ice.

My plans for gardening keep me going. Since I don’t have a greenhouse or start seeds indoors, I do winter sowing. I use plastic containers are mini greenhouses. Unfortunately the jugs are buried in the ice in my yard and the soil I purchased is one large brick. I can do it whenever it warms up enough.

A few months ago I got into sprouting seeds for getting fresh vegetables. Every few days I have a large mason jar of sprouts to eat.

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Miriam, Volunteer Mentor | @mir123 | Feb 9 9:37am
In reply to @hopenr "@gunshy I have no answers other than a lot of cliche's. I have lived a joyful..." + (show)
Profile picture for hopenr @hopenr

@gunshy I have no answers other than a lot of cliche's. I have lived a joyful life but it has nothing to do with any external factors. Somehow I was lucky enough to know that the happiness is a choice. Reading Mans Search for Meaning turned a light on for me. What I want you to know is that I am sending you thoughts of love and wish you the best.

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@hopenr This amazing book Man,s Search for Meaning changed me for the better. I read it in Covid lockdown--so helpful.

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nycmusic | @nycmusic | Feb 9 6:50pm

There are some things we can control and some we can’t…but even in a hospital bed you can be thankful for something…let that grow into more…

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passerby | @passerby | Feb 10 1:34am
In reply to @marschwart "Wanted some experience-sharing/views re: aging and accompanying diminshed self-confidence, and elevating and maintaining same. Whether it's..." + (show)
Profile picture for marschwart @marschwart

Wanted some experience-sharing/views re: aging and accompanying diminshed self-confidence, and elevating and maintaining same. Whether it's mobility, physical or mentally self assurance-related. Some thoughts/experiences would be most welcome

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@marschwart
I look forward to reading responses you get. I’ll add this about me , 60 I got Graves autoimmune &TED.
It was a life changer.
70 came out of nowhere, experiencing hair loss is affecting my self confidence because I’m seeing the difference in the mirror these days. Health issues throw me for a loop.
I’ve adapted to a quieter life . I allow myself quiet time & getting used to saying “I don’t drive at night” lol.

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grasping | @grasping | Feb 10 8:44am
In reply to @psmith7959 "Hello. Have you considered pursuing individual psychotherapy with a licensed behavioral health specialist. I found personal..." + (show)
Profile picture for psmith7959 @psmith7959

Hello. Have you considered pursuing individual psychotherapy with a licensed behavioral health specialist. I found personal therapy during life changes as beneficial. Also, you can join a support group. You can adjust.

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@psmith7959
Yes, I have been to many therapists, am currently in therapy.

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