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Dating after prostate cancer

Posted by scottbeammeup @scottbeammeup, Aug 10, 2024

Anyone have any advice for a gay man on how to date after having prostate cancer. I'm currently in treatment with Androgen Deprivation Therapy so need to use Viagra for anything to happen, and also can't have orgasms currently and, I'm told, once I'm able to there will be little to no ejaculate (I had radiation therapy). I may need to stay on Viagra forever going forward which would remove any chance of spontaneity.

Should I just put this information out there up front on dating apps so those who can't handle it can ignore me or is it something I should wait until things are going well and then bring it up?

Any other gay guys in this forum? Would YOU date someone who had prostate cancer and some ED issues? You can be honest.

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billybwbf2 | @billybwbf2 | Feb 2 12:23pm
In reply to @mouser26 "I am bisexual and went through radiation, brachytherapy and 18 months of ADT. I came off..." + (show)
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I am bisexual and went through radiation, brachytherapy and 18 months of ADT. I came off the hormone treatment in October and while I can now achieve erections, they are absolutely NOT what they used to be. I have also lost the ability to ejaculate. Before my diagnosis and treatment I was extremely sexually active. Now I am no longer willing to engage in relations with either sex. Cum was a big turn-on for me in different ways and no longer being able to produce it myself is devastating. I don't take ED meds because I don't see the point. I feel alot of shame and embarrassment. At this point I am just trying to accept that sex will never again be a part of my life.

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@mouser26 you mention kormone therapy but did you have a prostatectomy as well? I had my prostatectomy in October 2025.

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mouser26 | @mouser26 | Feb 2 1:35pm
In reply to @billybwbf2 "@mouser26 you mention kormone therapy but did you have a prostatectomy as well? I had my..." + (show)
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@mouser26 you mention kormone therapy but did you have a prostatectomy as well? I had my prostatectomy in October 2025.

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@billybwbf2 I did not have a prostatectomy. I had two Gleason 8's but was worried about incontinence issues.

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billybwbf2 | @billybwbf2 | Feb 2 4:26pm

Thanks for your reply mouser26!

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mouser26 | @mouser26 | Feb 3 4:50am

Honestly, without spontaneity and ejaculation sex just doesn't interest me any longer. To each his own, I guess.

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scottbeammeup | @scottbeammeup | Feb 3 7:32am
In reply to @billybwbf2 "Thank you for your kind and well thought out response. You understand what it’s like to..." + (show)
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Thank you for your kind and well thought out response. You understand what it’s like to suddenly have your sex life end and have an organ “down sized”. As silly as it seems I’m grieving my loss.
I keep hoping it may come back but deep inside I fear it won’t! As you mentioned your “ group” you could most likely answer a question I have been wondering about but haven’t had the nerve to ask about…Anal sex… is that still an option after healing? It would seem with no prostate it would be. I’m just learning my way around my new life and its options.
Thank you for understanding!

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|Anal sex… is that still an option after healing?

@billybwbf2 I asked the doctor about this and was told a minimum of three months after surgery or radiation, six months if better. Go slow and try a small toy first with LOTS of lube, if it hurts then wait longer.

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billybwbf2 | @billybwbf2 | Feb 3 1:01pm

Thanks Scotty! This is all new to me so appreciate your advise.

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