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It sounds to me like you are both very brave and fighting the good fight! As a sober for 11 years recovering alcoholic, I think I understand much of what you are both up against. It is great that you have supportive spouses and I am not sure where I would turn to with my depression if not for my amazing wife. I am disabled that may or may not have been caused by my alcohol use (chronic pancreatitis with part of it being removed because of a benign tumor). The resulting diabetes and extreme pain from the pancreas problem, I have to use opioids for pain relief and they are not very good for anyone's mental health and mine was not great before; severe anxiety disorder and clinical depression. I wish you both success in your battles and that they become less onerous as time goes by.
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@gman007 Thank you for your encouraging words. Congratulations on your 11 years sobriety. Your milestones are a message of hope for us and for all alcoholics. It can be done one day at a time. So sorry to hear of your pancreatitis. There are several members of my home group who have had this so I know it is something no one wants to have. I do have a fatty liver and high liver enzymes but my gastro stays on top of this and it mostly is under control. It is not painful, thank goodness, but always hangs over my head. Some groups don't like to hear members speak of taking medications but I believe we should trust our doctors to know what is best for us. If I was not on medication, I would be very suicidal. That would certainly not be beneficial for my sobriety. There are two things in particular I lean on for strength. One is acceptance and the other is gratitude. It is not easy but I know it is the right thing for me. Please stay in touch and stay strong.