Hell

Do not despair.

I've had my share of problems in the past years, especially since being disabled by a stroke and being in constant, intense pain ever since.

And I know people who have it much, much worse than I do.

Some common traits that I've seen in survivors:

Gratitude. Not just as an occasional practice, but as a way of life.
Belief in God (or some higher power).
Determination. An unwillingness to acknowledge even the possibility of quitting.
Endurance. Taking each day as it comes.

There are others that I'm sure I'm overlooking. And as Winston Churchill said, "When you're going through hell, keep going!"

I would call it worse than Hell. Its pure torture and not quitting.
I was interviewed for a cancer podcast where I was asked how did I do it. I was my own caregiver mostly, after surgery, I had minimal support with chemo and now struggle with side effects of 2nd treatment for breast cancer as a man. I did not know who would be there to support.

The hardest part of any challenge is how to manage your emotions and of those around you. I have faith, but did not bring God into the picture. What I needed, God could not provide. I had to stay focused, found strength that I didn’t know I had and kept moving without knowing when I could rest. I had several days where I didn’t want to continue with chemo. I was driving myself to/from treatment, 6 hrs of med, then crashing for 4 days, and working from home. Work gave me purpose, and good distraction. I was self-imprisoned at home for 12 weeks, until chemo ended. Then more fun came in the form chemo fog, and other physical ailments.

I have support now but until life happens again, believe in yourself to overcome.

This is my podcast interview -
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cancer-caregiver/id1504166813

You are not wrong. I felt as I was living in a true nightmare. Sometimes, it didn't even feel real. Nothing is normal as you know it. You feel like it's never going to end and sometimes you are afraid of what the end is. After transplant there is relief. My husband is still not back to "normal", but the threat is over. He's 2.5 years post transplant. This site helped me thru. Friends and family are wonderful, but unless you have lived it, you can't grasp what's going on. This is a great place to ask questions, compare situations, vent, and update your situation. People here really care. Everyone is pulling for you. God bless.

The persistence will show itself when least expected. Talk to the Lord, pray for better days. He only hands us what he knows we can take. Good Luck. Lean on the people on this site and ask for help. You're only 1 person for gosh sakes!!

@malebreastcancer47 Since you have faith, I believe God was supporting you even though you didn’t ask him. 🙏🏻

It was also my dad. He passed 3 yrs prior, in 2020. When I least expected, he was there to calm me during procedures I endured alone. Had he been alive, he would not have been able to accompany me due to being physically handicapped.
Sometimes life happens for a reason.