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Coping with loss of DH (dear husband) and trauma of caregiving years
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Feb 18 9:46pm | Replies (31)Comment receiving replies
@jehjeh, I expanded the title of your discussion to reflect your need. I understand the nuance of the need for support, not only for loss, but also to consider the toll, trauma, shift - and so many other aspects - of long-time caregiving.
I think other fulltime, long-term caregivers here like @IndianaScott @waltrichard @norram @cindy2024today @randywhite @centre will understand that void one experiences when caregiving ends and the need to untangle the emotions and years when your actions were not dictated by you, but your role as a caregiver.
@anncgrl started a similar discussion when her husband passed. You may appreciate reading the comments shared here:
- The End: When caregiving ends, my husband passed away https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/the-end/
@jehjeh, to get the discussion going, can you share one aspect of no longer being a caregiver that you are struggling with?
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@colleenyoung thanks for your response.
For years, I guess I struggled in silence, this being the only place I could speak honestly about what was going on at home. I never found another safe place to share my thoughts. Caregiving a loved one with dementia being different from other types of caregiving. Now, no one in my circle understands my anger and sadness at losing him day by day, the fear of not knowing from minute to minute what his mood would be, giving up everything else in life that wasn't him. Caregiving was my life. Now, I have no reason to get out of the house and I don't want to. So I don't. I tell myself this is me taking care of me but I want to want to get out. I want to say I GET to do X,Y or Z today rather than I HAVE to do XY or Z. I find no joy anywhere. When does the joy return? Does it return?