How to deal with aging anxiety?

I agree pain is inevitable, and some suffering is also inevitable until you gain some level of physical and psychological control. I do think there’s an element of choice in how we manage the pain we have although I wouldn’t mind more of it being in my control, thanks for trying to be helpful.

I share many of the concerns expressed by so many commentators. At 79, I've survived a stroke, two heart attacks, knee replacement and 3 years of CRPS (chronic, intense pain) -- I've dealt with a lot. Currently managing 3 heart conditions, 2 serious joint issues, and most recently, GI problems. When the GI started, I felt it really unfair to have three body systems out of whack simultaneously. Where my situation differs from many of you is that I'm a card-carrying atheist, so religious support doesn't work for me. (I do pay dues and participate in a religious community...just for fellowship and socialization.) What does bring me real comfort is participating in Dignitas, the nonprofit organization in Switzerland which provides assistance in dying. I'm trying to follow Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel's tenet of "nothing invasive after 70," (except for getting broken leg from skiing set)...but each new issue poses existential challenge. I've been living alone for 30+ years, and have major stress from alienated adult child who lives nearby. All this said, so long as I have enough resources for a trip to Forch (one round trip ticket for my nephew; one one-way for me)...I hope I never experience prolonged suffering. Something to look ito, perhaps. Thank you for sharing your concerns in this forum. Nice to know there are lots of us facing these issues!

@susiewordsmith I appreciate you sharing. There are some days it is too much and then with the help of people like you in this forum we get thru and find a way despite pain and grief to get to the next day and make it what we can. Doing that today. Thoughts with you.

@susiewordsmith

I,too,am considering Dignitas at some point. I am an atheist as well. In NC where I live now, death with dignity is not yet legal. I am hoping that becomes an option also. The issue for me is that you have to be a hospice patient already to access it.

grahmilou-
Thank you for raising this issue.
Sometimes I think it is important to just recognize things like this and not try to "fix" them.
It's what is, in some way, for each of us.
Life has a beginning and an end. Me, too.
None of us have been singled out for unique punishment.

Thanks for responding. It’s helpful to know there are others on the same journey without judging. Those of us who have faith find it a helpful Companion but it doesn’t necessarily make the journey less painful or easier.

I am 60 years old and recently I have become obsessed with realizing that I might have ten, maybe twenty years left before I die. I can't stop dwelling on this. What can I do to stop obsessing over this?

You are young for that revelation compared to some of us. I came to understand it when I was 75 three years ago and it is helped me to re-prioritize my life and focus on what is most important? Each of us who comes to this revelation has our own list of what is important so that we can learn to live each day that we have left despite the discomfort of feeling that the road is so much shorter than we had hoped. For me it caused me to prioritise my health, no more excuses, so that I could ensure that I had the best chance of more days. But it also caused me to prioritise my relationships and focus on how I could help others. Another truth was no matter what age you are the next day is never promised. I lost my nephew when he was 14. I lost my mother when she was 46. It’s important that we know what our priorities are and that we can enjoy the day that we have been given despite uncertainty and grief. my thoughts are with you.

@dmbwa99362

Three ideas that might help:

Writing. Not writing with a particular goal. I also recommend writing with pen and paper. No judgement on what you are writing just the open hearted willingness to discover more.

Meditation: a simple mindfulness meditation 20 minutes per day can calm the mind jabber.or monkey mind as some who meditate say.

Tea: sometimes those thoughts can be painful, frightening and we want to push them away. Instead, befriend them. Invite them in for "tea". Be curious about them as you would be about a new person, experience or opportunity. Not easy but who knows what might be revealed as helpful or comforting.

As a psychotherapist I agree with all three suggestions. It’s something we have to “go through” and those techniques help. Thx