What to do when you get so tired you can’t take another step. Help

When you hit that wall, please give yourself permission to do the bare minimum for one day and let the non-essential chores go.
Also, reach out to your family, friends, or a local support group to ask for even a few hours of help so you can rest. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and finding a moment to breathe is necessary for both of you.

Hi @lovetony1989
I take care of my husband who has Alzheimer's. He outweighs me by 50 lbs., but he does not need much physical support at this stage.
I know that if I go down, he goes down, so I try to take as much care of myself as I can.
I need a shoulder replacement, but cannot get it done because the recovery is too long. He doesn't accept strangers in our home..
Do you have a local Office of Aging? There may be support services available. It's worth exploring.

Hire help!! Your own health needs it!
Last year my husband took care of his parents and we DID hire help but he was still there a lot, I was too but toward the end it was more him and the CNA we hired (I had been the driver and shopper for years for them)
Hospice got involved too near the end.
All this to say that 6 months later my husband got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer!! Of course I don't know if the stress of it all caused it, but stress does terrible things to the body.
(He's ok for now btw, you wouldn't know he has cancer by looking at him- other than hair loss from chemo, which is now growing back but GREY!)
you have to take care of yourself!
I'm losing my mind and it's just residual stress from my in-laws dying, my husband's diagnosis and then my mom dying too shortly after. We had 3 deaths within 7 months! I don't need a 4th any time soon!
Relax and try to do something you enjoy! I sew/quilt and often just sit with headphones and listen to an audiobook to keep my mind from THINKING!

@beaquilter

Wow! I am so sorry for all you and your husband have endured! I have a not dissimilar story (multiple losses during and around COVID including my mother, my father diagnosed with cancer and moving in with us and I am still his caregiver to this day, more losses, and my husband will be retiring soon). Because of all the pressures of the day and caregiving for someone with multiple chronic and life threatening issues, I feel like for five years I have not processed the multiple losses—both of those close to me and those not but I still cared about and interacted with, plus the loss of my life as I knew it and expected it to be—ever. I speak to a counselor once a month, just to help sort out feelings of what is going on today, but I know later I will have to face all that has hit us in the last years. I encourage you to rest, treat yourself very well, and find someone to talk to when you are ready (for me, Jesus is the Great Counselor!). Blessings and warmth to you.

@lovetony1989
Oh my! You have had a long and hard road! I echo the others who have encouraged you to get some help with caregiving. It is an entire world that I was unaware of, but there are agencies that vet their CNAs and caregivers. I am cautioned by home nurses that if this route is taken, set up cameras throughout the house and let them know that they are there, just to be on the safe side…..but many people have written here about how helpful they have found getting in home help to be. Even if they are there while you are, so you can take a nap, read, rest and recharge—that will help! I pray you find relief and rest.

If your husband is a veteran, I know there is support for in home help through the va. If not, speak to his PCP or specialist to find out what may be available.