Depression and over-analyzing how I feel: I'm feeling invisible

@scottrl

I was dumped by my bank’s telephone information female robot.

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@indogirl You aren't broken. I am 55, got sober at 47. I always told myself I was broken as my parents put me in treatment at 14. Relapse, sober, relapse, sober but I finally got sober what I hope is for good. When I got Long COVID, I went into a depression. I resisted medication as I took it on and off for many years, but when drinking and using drugs, antidepressants are really useless. I finally asked my Psychiatrist about getting on a low dose of something as I started having hopelessness. I started taking 30 mg of Cymbalta (duolextine) an SSNRI which helps. I react to medication differently. I am one that meds hit me kind of in reverse. Example, alcohol and narcotics make me hyper. Anyway, you are not broken. Take all this one day at a time. I have to focus on what I can do today. If I stay in the past (which is gone) I can get in the dregs (like I was yesterday, actually) and if I go into the future, I get anxiety. Realizing that I do that has helped as I can catch myself and bring myself back into the moment. You are not alone and I so appreciate you writing your thoughts on here.

@obliviusmaxmimus I wish the telephone information robot would dump me because I am tired of getting spam calls all day. 🙂

Sometimes I feel alone but then Sometimes I feel like everyone is analyzing me...I don't know what is worse?

Think of something that interests you...anything! Plants, outer space, recipes, jokes, animals, safaris. Read up on it. Try it. Do it.

@diverdown1 I love the way you put that. It is really hard not to dwell on negative things from the past. It definitely ruins the present!

@joeyjensen1959

Hi! Know what? Kinds sounds like you’re trying to live a life based on the imagined expectations of others. 1) No one cares about you. 2) Everyone judges you. How about 3) -You live your own life based on your abilities, likes & dislikes, experiences, goals, attitudes, and whatever else you feel makes you YOU. Seek out compatibles if you wish. I bet you have a lot to offer many people but not all. That’s THEIR problem. Don’t waste your time with them. And this will be hard, forgive me. Most people don’t give a crap about you or me. Target the ones that do. And return to them in kind feeling a specialness they find in you.

You've got 10 responses in the last 6 days. WE CARE ...sorry for your condition.
Hope you can find some help and be part of the solution.
Life is a struggle and suffering. Have had 2 stage four cancers to deal with in the
past few years. Am awaiting stage 5 to show up:)

Depression is tough-there's mild or severe depression. If you are suicidal or thinking of hurting yourself or others, go to the ER or to see a counselor. If it is mild, that is what I have mild depression. There is medication if you prefer to go that route. There's also supplements/vitamins-natural type of way. There's neurofeedback, if your insurance would cover for that type of therapy. My Son is 20 and he is doing neurofeedback and it has really helped him a lot. He got off all his medications-depression, adhd/anxiety meds. Another suggestion is to see a Functional Medicine Dr. They will do a through sit down exam with you, order a lot of labs/bloodwork, do food testing to see if there is other things going on with you that you don't know about. You could tell them about the depression and they could suggest supplements for you to try. There is other alternative type treatments too that you could check into besides medication. Nami is a great support group that you might want to check into in your area. They have in person groups and then online groups as well. Nami is a national organization for mental illness that is very well run and they offer great trainings too.
Try exercising- walking 10-15 minutes a day, whether it is outdoors or at Lowe's or Home Depot or Wal Mart or the grocery store! Invite a friend or neighbor to walk with you. What hobbies interest you? Do 1 or 2 things that you enjoy doing each day for yourself, they can be little things-coloring, a puzzle, reading, watching a movie, talking to a friend, going to the park, etc... Deep breathing helps me, meditation type mindfulness videos online and you tube help a lot. I love swimming and getting in the hot tub and walking. Do what you love and what you have fun doing. There's hotlines also you can call and talk to someone. I'm religious, I pray to God. Churches can be very supportive with ministers and church staff too. Pets are wonderful, we have a dog. Dogs are so much comfort, we have a Chihuhua/pug mix and she is my shadow, follows me around wherever I go. Wants to cuddle and be beside me when I am on the couch. I have also had a cat in the past, guinea pig, gerbils and fish. I loved having a guinea pig and gerbils, cat not so much. I'm more of a dog person. I'm sorry you are struggling, life can be hard. I hope things improve for you and we are here for you. I will keep you in my prayers.