Cargiving and Working

Posted by jjschmerer @jjschmerer, Dec 21, 2025

Hi all! Completely new to support groups. So, hope this helps me.

I am 45 yrs old and have been caring for my Mom and Dad for the past 7+ yrs. Its been some really really trying times for me. I have literaly put my life on hold and I am getting worn out, tired, and scared. I myself have a disability and I am getting lots of medical help. I need to work for my mental health and also for me to get back in the job market and make some money. But, how do you do that while cargiving? I am so scared that without me my parents will not do what they need to do.

I am going through a lot right now as a caregiver and trying to figure my life out after 7+ yrs and going is so hard. So much I am afraid of but I know I need to work. I just am not sure what that means for my parents and how do I go about looking for work? Is full-time or part-time better?

Signed,

Confused and scared but someone that loves his parents beyond galaxies. I love them so much!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers Support Group.

I would look into finding a work from home job, if I were in your situation.

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Have you thought about a home job?

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@jjschmerer
I am so touched by your loving concern for your parents after seven years of caregiving. I am also caregiver to a parent and know the sacrifices required.

Have you spoken to their PCP about qualifying for a home health aid? Or, do they have the finances to have someone come in to help for a while during the day so you can be at work? There are agencies that carefully screen and train employees…Are either of your parents veterans—there is help through the VA. Would they consider going to an adult day care? The one I have visited for my parent actually gets up to snuff on their medical issues and administers meds in accordance to their schedules while they are there, takes BP and weight, etc. (the PCP doctor fills out forms to let them know requirements). Working from home is another idea, but depending on your parents care needs, might become very stressful.

I wish you blessings and open doors to a great resolution. I do support you in the idea of regaining your work life and having some other outlet. Caregiving becomes so isolating and I think having more balance can only benefit everyone involved.

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Your post is very touching. Your devotion to your parents is very commendable. I’m not sure what your parents are dealing with….immobility, cognitive issues or something else, but I would really consider getting a job outside the home that provides insurance and retirement.

There are many things to consider, such as whether you have paid in enough to get Social Security when it’s time. You can check on that. I’d also consider factors like caregiver fatigue. It can be brutal. If I had to do it over, I would do it differently and I would not work remotely and be a caregiver. An analogy I came up with is that of a doctor. Let’s say the doctor shows up to work with 2 of his children. He must be their caregiver, plus treat his patients (job). Oh, and must answer the phone, do the books, and clean the bathrooms. Basically, it’s doing everything all the time. It’s very stressful and not ideal for a person with health issues.

Have you explored options for your parents’ care?

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You're taking on a big load, God bless you!
Try checking into what services might be available through your county. We have something called ADRC - Aging, Disabled, Resource Center. These folks are a great "tool" to help navigate help that could be available. Depending on your parent's needs, I also suggest looking into home health care. A good agency can help determining your parents needs and once again navigate what's out there.

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For five years, I worked full-time and took care of my sister who had ALS. Our local council on Aging was a God send. We were referred to them through Elder Source. We were provided a CNA for 40 hours a week. It didn't quite cover all of my time for work because of travel time and lunch breaks, but it helped tremendously. I was then able to find a lady locally to cover the rest of the hours. I would check with Elder Source to see if your parents qualify and what services are in your area.

Being a caregiver is hard. Good luck to you and I hope you find a way to balance your life and caregiving.

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Dear Confused
As a cna who has cared for family members all of my life in addition to earning a college degree, my suggestion is to find an agency on aging & see what options they can offer to you & your parents. Recently there was a program started that if you live in the home that you are caring for your parents then you could be paid for your caregiving. Or if you had, let’s say, a CNA live in the home of your parents, then she could be paid by an agency for caring for your parents. Please let them stay in their own home as long as possible & bring everyone to them! That’s what my Mom who was a RN always said! God bless you & praying for a wonderful new year!!❤️🙏🏼Mary CNA BLS CT

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Profile picture for royce @royce

I would look into finding a work from home job, if I were in your situation.

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@royce Yeah, I am looking to do that. I am looking for blogs and websites to write for right now.

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Profile picture for babbsjoy @babbsjoy

@jjschmerer
I am so touched by your loving concern for your parents after seven years of caregiving. I am also caregiver to a parent and know the sacrifices required.

Have you spoken to their PCP about qualifying for a home health aid? Or, do they have the finances to have someone come in to help for a while during the day so you can be at work? There are agencies that carefully screen and train employees…Are either of your parents veterans—there is help through the VA. Would they consider going to an adult day care? The one I have visited for my parent actually gets up to snuff on their medical issues and administers meds in accordance to their schedules while they are there, takes BP and weight, etc. (the PCP doctor fills out forms to let them know requirements). Working from home is another idea, but depending on your parents care needs, might become very stressful.

I wish you blessings and open doors to a great resolution. I do support you in the idea of regaining your work life and having some other outlet. Caregiving becomes so isolating and I think having more balance can only benefit everyone involved.

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@babbsjoy We are working in it. I love them so much. Money is a big big issue for us right now and we are looking for help in different places.

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Profile picture for jjschmerer @jjschmerer

@babbsjoy We are working in it. I love them so much. Money is a big big issue for us right now and we are looking for help in different places.

Jump to this post

@jjschmerer

I hope you can get everything worked out soon! I, too, have barriers to implementing this. I will say, that I am told that if you have aides in the home, it’s a good idea to have some cameras set up and let them know they are there, just so you can monitor everything.

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