Pre-bariatric surgery questions

I have not been scheduled for surgery yet. I've attended all of the classes and have an appointment with my surgeon in January. I am 71, I weigh 244 and I am 5' 3" tall, and I desperately don't want to go through the rest of my life this size, not only because I don't like how I look, but because it's just so darned uncomfortable! I've tried various GLP-1 drugs and can't use any of them because they make me so nauseous, along with bowel issues (these side effects don't go away even after weeks). I am really having second thoughts about proceeding with the surgery. In my first meeting with the surgeon, he actually showed me the amount of food I would be able to eat in one meal, which was just about the size of a shot glass or ramikin. This is why it is suggested that you eat 6 or so meals per day. Until I had a full hysterectomy and my weight shot up in my 40's, I had always been thin and able to eat anything. I am worried that I won't be able to train myself to eat the way I have to after the surgery. Of course the surgeon wants to see that I can change my eating habits and lose some weight before surgery, but what comes to mind is that, if you can change your eating habits and lose weight before surgery, and you HAVE to eat right after surgery (or you'll be in misery), why have the surgery? All these concerns might be normal at this point, but can anyone who had these thoughts and went through with the surgery respond? Any input would be appreciated. I've sent a message to the bariatric nurse on my team to get her ideas too, but it's always so helpful to hear from people who have had the surgery. Thanks.

@loriskt
I had my surgery one year ago today. I’m 68. I just had my 1 year check up and all is going well. I lost 95 lbs and have 21 more to go to get to high school weight. I have no regrets. I choose to eat a limited diet. I don’t want to fall into old, bad habits so I do not eat sugar, bread, pasta, potatoes, fast food, etc. I take food with me when I go places. I feel so good now. I love being able to physically do anything I want. I do get cold easily so I bought a coat. I never wore coats in the winter, even though I live in northwest Wisconsin. I don’t miss any of the food that made me gain weight. I feel a sense of freedom from the hold those foods had on me. Now I eat to live instead of live to eat. I think feeling anxious before surgery is normal. It was almost pain free for me. The pain was minimal. It did take time to retrain my brain about eating but I worked on it and it happened.

@marymatthys
Thanks for sharing your experience and congregation on your success. You gave some great suggestions. I like your motto: "Now I eat to live instead of live to eat." I laugh at your need for a coat now. No longer have body insulation. I notice that also. Keep up the good work

What do you do for exercise, especially for us who live in cold weather?

@roch
Shhhh, but I hate exercise. It’s the only question I fib a little on at my bariatric appointments! I walk (not enough) and ride a stationary bike (not enough). I park far from the store so I get more steps. I also don’t put off things in the house and that gets more steps. I’ve been trying to walk fast now

@loriskt
I think everyone gets nervous before surgery. You did all the work beforehand, so you're knowledgeable going in.

Right before my surgery, I asked the same question. If I can lose weight before surgery, then why have surgery? But then I thought of my previous "diets". I would lose weight, but then gain it back. The surgery is a tool to help keep weight off. It does not come with a 100% guarantee, but for me, it was successful.

I advise you to look back at previous attempts to lose weight. Were they successful? Did it work long-term?

I agree that reaching out to your nurse for questions or reassurance is a good idea. If you have serious doubts, maybe you can ask about moving the surgery to a later date and see how you do on your own

What is your biggest fear about proceeding with surgery?

@roch
Thank you for your comment about other diets I've been on and the surgery being a tool to help keep the weight off; I hadn't thought of it that way. My biggest fear about proceeding with surgery is having a procedure that is non-reversible and removes part of my body, and my not being able to change my eating habits appropriately, and being able to not look at food for comfort, but just simply nourishment. I really wish they had jars of food like baby food that is nutritious to adults, so it would just be a matter of opening a small jar and eating it for each meal! It has to be easy and convenient for me or I've found I don't do it. The only diet I was actually successful at was Jenny Craig. I didn't find the food very good but all I had to do was reach for it and open it (or microwave it), so I did lose about 20 pounds. Gained it back later though.

@roch
Thank you for your comment about other diets I've been on and the surgery being a tool to help keep the weight off; I hadn't thought of it that way. My biggest fear about proceeding with surgery is having a procedure that is non-reversible and removes part of my body, and my not being able to change my eating habits appropriately, and being able to not look at food for comfort, but just simply nourishment. I really wish they had jars of food like baby food that is nutritious to adults, so it would just be a matter of opening a small jar and eating it for each meal! It has to be easy and convenient for me or I've found I don't do it. The only diet I was actually successful at was Jenny Craig. I didn't find the food very good but all I had to do was reach for it and open it (or microwave it), so I did lose about 20 pounds. Gained it back later though.

@loriskt
I keep my food easy. I focus on protein and a few foods I enjoy. I keep them in my house so I always have them. I eat Ratio Protein yogurt (25 grams of protein). They taste much better than Greek yogurt. I also eat cottage cheese with a single serving container of mandarine oranges, dill pickles for crunch and flavor, Crunchmaster crackers with a Colby cheese stick (like a string cheese in that type of packaging), Tyson rotisserie chicken strips (frozen, cook in air fryer), Kirkland lightly breaded chicken nuggets (cook in air fryer), fresh fruit, fresh veggies, eggs, tacos with low carb wrap, Skinny Pop popcorn (once you’re cleared to eat it), etc. Sugar can give you dumping syndrome, which is miserable and I have myself convinced it will happen to me so I’m not tempted by sweets. I did a Christmas cookie exchange this year and have not been tempted to eat any. I think my key to success so far is retraining my brain about food and having lots of the foods I eat at home. It helps me to stay on track. It took awhile to think differently about eating. I remember walking around the store and trying to find low carb options for eating like I used to. I don’t really miss it. My big fear is regaining. I look at the rewards. Size 12 jeans are too big. I’m solidly in a large shirt and can maybe wear a medium in some designs. I look great in photos. I look younger despite being 68. In the last month, I’ve been getting a lot of compliments from people about how I look. My knees feel great. I could go on and on about the benefits.

@loriskt

I have always turned to food for comfort, but I needed to rethink my relationship with food. One thing I found helpful is staying busy. Sometimes it is the little things. I crochet while watching TV rather than snacking. Think about when you turned to food for comfort. Are you bored, tired, etc... If identify, then you can come up with plans to avoid.

If your clinic provides post-surgery support groups, I suggest you participate. It is a way to problem-solve and connect with others who are going through the same experience. And of course, Connect is a great way to connect with others to problem solve.

@roch
I crave snacks when I watch TV, so that's a dangerous time for me. At least we only watch TV at night, but maybe I'll learn to knit again. And stock up on string cheese and things I can reach for that aren't bad for me. I have Fibromyalgia, Long Covid, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia, all of which cause extreme fatigue which is made even worse by exercise, so I don't get out much and do anything, especially here in the northwest where I don't think it will ever stop raining.
I agree about joining a support group. Kaiser does have numerous programs. Is "Connect" this forum?