Connect
Inoperable Meningioma: not feeling support by my partner
Hey all. I read all of your stories yesterday afternoon. It struck me how strong we all are, dealing with this scary thing! That said, not feeling it this morning. Halfway through 28 fractionated treatments, actually going for #15 today. Very tired, started having some radiation burning last week that affects my tounge and throat. Nothing tastes like much either. I know this will pass. Currently the worst thing is lack of support from my husband...he actually started a fight with me about how long it takes me to get back and forth to treatments, and where am I am going? What am I doing? Holy f*CK, man. Close to an hour drive each way, through a college town that is a bottleneck with traffic. After tx I get some lunch, stop by grocery store, get gas, go the drugstore, whatever. Typical errands. So it puts me out of the house for a few hours in the afternoons. He keeps asking me where I go and what I do...despite me telling him. Even showing receipts, which is ridiculous but thought it might help with whatever weird ideas he has. He got even madder and has been being an absolute cold jerk the last few days. I asked him if he was worried about me getting him from treatment, safety concern? Was hoping that's where it came from but he denied this. So besides the worries about future of my brain and dealing with side effects from the steroids, tx, he appears to have made up his mind that I'm doing something nefarious. All I'm doing is getting through the day best I can. He's very demeaning, insulting to the point where it feels my very existence is not ok. Anyway, ack. Just feeling very stressed and sad the past few days. Thanks for reading.
Like
Helpful
HugInterested in more discussions like this? Go to the Brain Tumor Support Group.
Connect
@randallshields56 i also go as randy shields @ randallshields56
@randallshields56
I’m 72 yo. Enjoy your time with your daughter. I have two sons. Both coming home this weekend. Looking forward to seeing them and spending the holidays together.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 Reactions@carolinalynn
I had partial loss of taste following radiation treatment. It returned within two weeks. Hope yours did too.
If he is so concerned where you are.going have him.drive you to your appointments.
What makes your meningioma inoperable? Is it the location? Have you gotten a 2nd opinion?
@as72 i sincerely you and the kids have a great holiday. i am trying to just play catchup from PPW that needed done for the year, helped my daughter out and her night a little shorter. also have a happy new year too, especially if we don't chat. we do Christmas day here then off to north Carolina for half a day. family.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 Reactions@dollyjaneprenzel they really do as long as i take my time and know my limits, push a little hard on occasion but that's just to stay ahead f the game.
@as72 what a holiday so many things done with family. things are better here at home now and improving. I'm 69 and my tumor was 2.6 cm . living with daughter and her wife and have a caregiver that comes in when no one is here just in case i fall or need something. normally i don't need much and what i do i do for myself, my cooking is using a microwave or just heat up some water for different foods. getting around most days without a cane, i use that outside on uneven ground. slowly migrating away from using it at all. no seizures so I'm going to say they have my meds correct .i exercise pretty often to stay in shape and it doesn't hurt in case i need to take a longer walk. want to get back to 4 mile walks. thank you for all the hugs and likes you've posted.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsI’m so truly sorry for you, that you have to go through, and put up with, a ‘partner’s lack of empathy and support and understanding of such a serious ailment, as a brain tumor! I have an artery anomaly, in the pons area, of the brain, that gives me troubles, with ataxia, balance etc. It, also, is an inoperable condition! Also, I am a caregiver for a wife, who is in heart failure, and has metabolic syndrome, along with diabetes, and cognitive problems! I, also, have a diabetic, blind dog, who used to be a service/companion dog, for me, with my Parkinson’s Disease problems etc. My wife is irritable most of the time, and, pretty much non-supportive! Maybe it’s because she has so many problems of her own! However, when I have to go to medical appointments, grocery shopping, etc. she trusts me, and never questions me or act like she suspects me of anything nefarious! So, your having to deal with that, on top of your illness, why, it must be very difficult! Hang in there! We must not give up! Asking your partner to drive you, and help you, or to just go with you, might curb his questioning! Other than that, your showing him that his criticism of you, doesn’t bother you ( even if it does ), could, perhaps help alleviate some of the negativity, that you are facing! Also, it’s weird, but, over and over, I’ve seen, in some families, where family members cannot accept serious illness, in another close family member, and they react in inappropriate ways! Perhaps that’s the problem with your partner! Constructive counseling may help, if you and your partner could agree to go ahead with that plan! Dealing with serious illness of a loved one, to some family members, can sometimes seem like an unachievable task! Wishing you the best!