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What Pain Teaches Us
My 83-year old husband cries out in pain during the night, and moans and groans during the day. Not exactly music to my ears, especially since I suffer from chronic pain.
What has been a balm to me as George's primary caregiver, is all your hugs and prayers.
I refuse to be defeated by pain--my own and my vicarious suffering for my husband.
On Pain
Kahlil Gibran
And a woman spoke, saying, Tell us of Pain.
And he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.
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I’m not sure what pain teaches us. I read your post three times over the morning maybe before. I want to say I am sorry and I empathize with the many abuse and discrimination you suffered. I also experience the same. I am not sure that I tie my pain to my childhood traumas. My father, who also was an abuser also suffered with the same my muscular and orthopedic degeneration that I inherited. I am just luckier that I have maintained for 25 years on light dose opioid (Percocet). I’ve tried everything along the way, but it just seems like One of my “struggles“ in life is to have chronic pain. After all these years, I just accept it. I am embrace it. I can’t get rid of it so I just make friends with it. It doesn’t bother me in the least that I take low-dose opioids Because I take supplements. I exercise I go to the doctor and I live the best life that I can. My pain build my character. Just like my trauma built my character. Just like my father‘s traumas built his character. Some people in life have struggles. We don’t see and we don’t hear about. I pretty much believe that our existence on earth is about “struggles.“ Struggles our character building. There are some people in my life who are very important people by societies standards and it seems to me that in order to accomplish really big things they don’t struggle The way I do with daily things. I think that life just gave them a different kind of struggle and I just can’t see it. I believe that we each have a different path in life and our job is to figure out our path and make progress. Sometimes we back slide. Sometimes we go forward with momentum. Sometimes there’s exuberance. Sometimes there’s devastation sometimes she sits still, and sometimes you move. Sometimes you don’t think about it and sometimes you do sometimes you take something for it sometimes you don’t.
As long as we are breathing, we have choices. Our choices are all different. In my life, I want to avoid being a victim. Some of that is in my control and some of it’s out of my control. The point is to know the difference between the two.. I wish you all the best life you can have.
@farmer1978 neurosurgeon
Look for neurosurgeon, for back surgery they do a better job
@georgescraftjr , oh no... patients and caregivers understand pain for the most part. I meant those doctors and nurses who start the conversation with 'and on a scale...level today'....you want to say a fifteen out of ten, but you don't and they still shoot you a look that seems to say is that a whiner, or flat out liar...
Didn't mean an insult.
@farmer1978 You want one who is attentive and empathetic, also very fluid about sending you elsewhere if a problem is not in their realm. Of course you won't know this until you'v e had multiple visits! Sometimes you draw an ace, other times a joker. It's a matter of luck, I guess, and a willingness to say No more, and try another one. Ask for a sugestion from friends, neighbors you know...that's really the only way you'll get a real feel for the doc you want.
Happy hunting. I hope you draw an ace. I did, three times in a row, but I can't say the same for some of my specialists. Wishing better for you.
@bilt4pain I wish I could say the same. I suppose I could get more specific - when I'm outside gardening, I'm calm, peaceful...until.... until the PD squeezes in and I start to sway, get animated, know that a fall is coming unless I give up, go inside to unstress, and there's no garden time for me until I can tolerate the temperature of the ground,and I better know when to stop.So, I'm exiled until Spring, at least, perhaps never if I can't control my PD triggers.
Multiple pain is just so involed, convoluted. Treat my feet? Treat my back? My hands? My belly? My hands? My fingertips? My mouth?
No standing, no sitting, no grabbing, holding, twisting, no eating.
This is way too much to handle. I'm just hoping to get some relief from my new Pain Mgmt doc. Till then? I wish I knew.
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1 Reaction@farmer1978 this sounds totally strange, but I just finished an article in "Wired" magazine online, talking about Pelvic Floor Disfunction in men and women. This article notes that sciatica is one of the results from having this disfunction. You might want to check it out - I believe I'm not allowed to post a link, but I can tell you that it's the current issue, and the article is mentioned on wired.com front page if you page down a few times.
The article is basically on pain.
@bruizersmom
Sorry to hear about your complex pain issues. Good luck with your new pain management doctor.
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2 Reactions@loriesco yes RFA (nerve ablation) helps. I had that done on one side of spinal facet joints over a month ago. It has been somewhat helpful. But pain increases to 9 sometimes when getting up at night…3 am then 6am. Opiate is needed once or maybe twice daily. It is hard to talk to my Doctor as it seems prescribed 2 a day is max. I do try, with Tylenol …have moderate exercise like short walks or moving to music which helps spirits slightly. I get tired late in day and have a short nap. I need the other side of L2-L5 facet joints nerve ablation but the skin area has still not healed. It really isn’t comfortable to sit in a car (I stopped driving) and must have dental work this week, anticipating problems from the extra tension. After years of needles (epidurals) I’m not going to stop hoping.
Wow, bit4pain, what a story. I am sorry you have been through all of this.
I'm 71, and like a lot of people my age, have a bucket list. I'll take skydiving off the list.
Fused from T11 through S1? That is unimaginable. Well, I am glad your sense of humor and sense of life is intact. I have absolutely nothing to complain about - nothing that comes remotely close to what you have experienced.
If I may ask, how old are you now?
Your sense of humor is remarkable considering what you've been through ("It wasn't the fall, but the sudden stop.....). There is a valuable lesson for me to be more appreciative of the things I have. Thanks for making me think about these things.
Stay strong, friend.
Joe