Young Spousal Caregiver

PS if you haven't investigated disability from the Social Security Administration I encourage you to get on it immediately. Most likely he will be covered but it can take a year to get it through the system. I have much experience here and would be happy to help save you a great deal of time and many headaches. It is worth it if he qualifies.

Greg

My heart is with you. I am a younger spouse/ caregiver for my husband of 39 years. We have a significant age difference and still get judged for it, but for us, it worked. Our kids are raised, but he is in hospice care now for dementia decline and a failing heart. I reached out to a lot of support groups, therapists, hospices, and the like until I found people and companies that worked for us. It took years and lots of advocating to find the resources that work for our paradigm of care and love in this life transition. I am happy to connect privately if you're interested. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I’m going through this. We were high school sweethearts & after 16 years apart reconnected and married. We celebrated our first anniversary in the hospital after emergency colon resection & were later told it was stage 4 & he was terminal. That was 3 years ago so I’m still going through it. The uncertainty of how long he has & the inability to plan our future as well as the fact that he’s never going to be who he was before cancer I’m still grieving. Our lives changed overnight & none of my friends understand that or the financial ruin. My vehicle was repossessed last week and we’re struggling to stay in our home now. We were middle class. He can’t work and doesn’t get a retirement pension. He was 42 at diagnosis & I was 38 . I didn’t expect to have to shoulder the weight of all the jobs, work full time, take care of his needs - be the only point of social connection for him, keep house, raise kids and everything else. He is wiped out & could sleep like Rumplestilskin if I’d allow it. The burden of our daily life is paralyzing sometimes. But I wouldn’t trade it for another version of reality without him. You are strong enough to carry this carer role. You get to flip out sometimes. You have feelings to o & they matter. You don’t get carried. You do the carrying. Find a way to feel carried in some way. This makes me feel like I’m not alone. I’m sorry you’re bearing this burden.