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Bill paying

Caregivers | Last Active: Nov 22 3:59pm | Replies (15)

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@chantelle

I am so sorry you are facing this heart wrenching challenge! Would it work at all to first let him know how much you appreciate his years of taking care of the finances for you both, but then explaining that since you are so much younger than he, it’s conceivable that at some point you will need take care of things for yourself, and you would rather start now while he can teach you everything? That way he still feels some control, but you are involved to catch mistakes and gently take over? You could let him know that this is important to your future and that you know he loves you so much and will want you to feel capable and secure……

This is difficult and I pray it works out with ease for you!

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Replies to "@chantelle I am so sorry you are facing this heart wrenching challenge! Would it work at..."

@babbsjoy thank you, I will certainly try that approach. A friend suggested that I let the bank know and they can require both of our signatures. That way I can work my way into this.

@babbsjoy
We’ve kind of taken this approach. Husband (84) has managed all our finances and that of a company where he and our son are partners. But time to do all this on the computer was increasing and mistakes were occurring. So I (81) started to sit beside him to check for things like transposed digital, wrong dates, forgotten steps and now we are just to the point where we have reversed those roles. We both realize that I need to be taking responsibility for this as I am a bit younger, in much better health, and a bit more adept with current technology .. but he gets very frustrated that he is not as mentally alert as he was and gets rather depressed about the mistakes he is making. I’m fortunate that he still knows what is happening but is just so much slower than he was, at typing and thinking hus way through solving problems that occur. So I’m learning to accept that more of my time is going to this and I’m trying to learn as much as I can before the inevitable will occur.