Depressed over the over use of doctors and procedures..approaching 80

It sometimes feels like there’s no end to all the inhumane acts that are happening in this world, most of us feel helpless and don’t know what to do about it. I read stories that are so sad and shocking too, you don’t know where to begin with what to say or how you can help someone else with their feelings, it’s all too frustrating to say the least.

I am suffering today and agree with you after three hospitals and two stents. FAMILY isn[t much help as everyone works just to get by. TODAY I see the follow up with the NURSING ASSISTANT //GOD BLESS US EVERY ONE OF US...Margaret O

You are amazing and a tribute to aging. I hope and wish you the very best....

Apparently I am what is called a superager. At age 91 I am just fine. I found this article on the Internet. Scientists have been studying people like me for 25 years and apparently our brains are different. At age 87 I had a right hip replacement as I had worn it out. They do not keep you in the hospital anymore, which is where you should be. They shipped me off to a hellhole, where there was no one who really took care of me. Because I was not able to get out of bed myself, how was I supposed to go to the bathroom? They didn't care. I just had to go and lie in my mess until finally someone would come hours later and chastise me for getting myself messy, the bed, etc. It meant they finally had to do some work. Additionally they never gave me a shower or bed bath. Evidently personal hygiene was not high on their list of taking care of patients. Had to spend 3 weeks there. It was awful.

@margaretob, you’re absolutely right about that, yesterday my neighbour came by all frustrated and angry because she didn’t know how to use her new phone, she’s 84 years old and in bad health and she looks after her husband who is suffering from dementia, to make matters worse her daughter who is all she has just abandoned her and moved away to live alone, she’s 48 and was living at home with her parents all this time. I realize that there’s two sides to everything but I can’t relate to what she has done and worst of all she can’t be contacted. My heart breaks for her mother who is so alone with everything, she only has a worker com by once a week to bathe her husband and that’s all she has, she told me that her friends don’t speak to her anymore and I can relate to that. I don’t know what has happened to our world, I can’t imagine abandoning my parents when they were sick but that was another time when things weren’t so chaotic.

@thisismarilynb

Hello super ager. The brain, genetics, personality, and physiology are huge determinants of longevity and your state of health throughout your life.

They discharged you to a rehabilitation center; a very bad one, it would seem. There are things you can do, even now, to make sure this does not happen to anyone else.

No one should stay silent on this matter as your experience is clearly elder neglect and abuse. First: that they neglected to answer your call "within a timely manner" and Second: in that the caregiver admonished you...that is psychological abuse.

PLEASE if ANYone has this sort of experience (in the past) in the future:

These situations and experiences MUST be brought to the attention of your state legislators, an Area Agency on Aging Ombudsman (a person representing the aged as mandated by law and recently updated) Medicare, AND if you have any secondary insurance payor, that payer as well. Also send a copy of the letter to the Chief Nurse of the facility and or the Director of Nursing (DON).

Send the letter to their headquarters/legal representatives (risk management staff) of all entities you write to. This neglect and abuse of elders must be exposed: NOW.

Medicare and Medicaid, as well as your insurance company pay for your care and you need to get what they/you pay for, NOT substandard nursing care. Medicare will NOT pay this facility if these instances were documented and make light of. And a patient does NOT pay for it if Medicare refuses. The only place to get results is by damaging the facility bottom line and that is via the facility not getting reimbursed due to VALID patient complaints.

Registered nurses and administrators (who also are often RNs) of nursing homes and rehab centers are THE persons who are legally responsible for ALLOWING substandard care in any medical facility.

Complaining to the Chief Nurse, Director of Nursing and Administrator in WRITING when the incident is happening or happens, or did happen is of utmost importance. Document your stay, keep diaries of stays in hospitals, rehab centers, nursing homes if at all possible.

Have a friend do it for you if you are unable to do so. Always find SOMEONE who can come check in on you during a stay; even if you have to PAY someone it will be worth every dime.

What happened during COVID's lockdowns, to the institutionalized and homebound elderly - with mandatory restrictions, will likely never happen again. This because studies are now emerging which have verified the deleterious (deadly) effects isolation had on the aged, more deleterious than COVID. Humans starved from social interaction can die and do die from it. Therefore I believe the isolation will not occur again due to those effects, and the fact someone will come up with a better plan to deal with something like isolation much better. It is just that modern society has never dealt with a pandemic and nursing/rehab homes are more a modern phenomenon.

ALL registered nurses are bound by their license to see that incidents like what you, thisismarilynb, experienced are not ALLOWED to happen.

IF anyone does not get the care and service they need in a hospital, nursing home, or rehab center REPORT it to the person with a LICENSE and with total responsibility for ANY care you did or did not receive. The Registered Nurse in charge of all the caregivers is who that is.

To the best of my knowledge, ANY state in the US, a REGISTERED nurse (RN) can only delegate tasks, but the RN cannot delegate ultimate responsibility for how, why, or if those tasks are or are not accomplished.

If you are having issues in any facility that has RNs, complain to the RN, they have a license to protect and they will protect you if they want to keep their license and not get sued.

Apparently I am what is called a superager. At age 91 I am just fine. I found this article on the Internet. Scientists have been studying people like me for 25 years and apparently our brains are different. At age 87 I had a right hip replacement as I had worn it out. They do not keep you in the hospital anymore, which is where you should be. They shipped me off to a hellhole, where there was no one who really took care of me. Because I was not able to get out of bed myself, how was I supposed to go to the bathroom? They didn't care. I just had to go and lie in my mess until finally someone would come hours later and chastise me for getting myself messy, the bed, etc. It meant they finally had to do some work. Additionally they never gave me a shower or bed bath. Evidently personal hygiene was not high on their list of taking care of patients. Had to spend 3 weeks there. It was awful.

@thisismarilynb

Hello super ager. The brain, genetics, personality, and physiology are huge determinants of longevity and your state of health throughout your life.

They discharged you to a rehabilitation center; a very bad one, it would seem. There are things you can do, even now, to make sure this does not happen to anyone else.

No one should stay silent on this matter as your experience is clearly elder neglect and abuse. First: that they neglected to answer your call "within a timely manner" and Second: in that the caregiver admonished you...that is psychological abuse.

PLEASE if ANYone has this sort of experience (in the past) in the future:

These situations and experiences MUST be brought to the attention of your state legislators, an Area Agency on Aging Ombudsman (a person representing the aged as mandated by law and recently updated) Medicare, AND if you have any secondary insurance payor, that payer as well. Also send a copy of the letter to the Chief Nurse of the facility and or the Director of Nursing (DON).

Send the letter to their headquarters/legal representatives (risk management staff) of all entities you write to. This neglect and abuse of elders must be exposed: NOW.

Medicare and Medicaid, as well as your insurance company pay for your care and you need to get what they/you pay for, NOT substandard nursing care. Medicare will NOT pay this facility if these instances were documented and make light of. And a patient does NOT pay for it if Medicare refuses. The only place to get results is by damaging the facility bottom line and that is via the facility not getting reimbursed due to VALID patient complaints.

Registered nurses and administrators (who also are often RNs) of nursing homes and rehab centers are THE persons who are legally responsible for ALLOWING substandard care in any medical facility.

Complaining to the Chief Nurse, Director of Nursing and Administrator in WRITING when the incident is happening or happens, or did happen is of utmost importance. Document your stay, keep diaries of stays in hospitals, rehab centers, nursing homes if at all possible.

Have a friend do it for you if you are unable to do so. Always find SOMEONE who can come check in on you during a stay; even if you have to PAY someone it will be worth every dime.

What happened during COVID's lockdowns, to the institutionalized and homebound elderly - with mandatory restrictions, will likely never happen again. This because studies are now emerging which have verified the deleterious (deadly) effects isolation had on the aged, more deleterious than COVID. Humans starved from social interaction can die and do die from it. Therefore I believe the isolation will not occur again due to those effects, and the fact someone will come up with a better plan to deal with something like isolation much better. It is just that modern society has never dealt with a pandemic and nursing/rehab homes are more a modern phenomenon.

ALL registered nurses are bound by their license to see that incidents like what you, thisismarilynb, experienced are not ALLOWED to happen.

IF anyone does not get the care and service they need in a hospital, nursing home, or rehab center REPORT it to the person with a LICENSE and with total responsibility for ANY care you did or did not receive. The Registered Nurse in charge of all the caregivers is who that is.

To the best of my knowledge, ANY state in the US, a REGISTERED nurse (RN) can only delegate tasks, but the RN cannot delegate ultimate responsibility for how, why, or if those tasks are or are not accomplished.

If you are having issues in any facility that has RNs, complain to the RN, they have a license to protect and they will protect you if they want to keep their license and not get sued.

@thisismarilynb
That sounds HORRIBLE!
Not to be judgemental, but, could you not call your family doctor, or even
the surgeon & report what was happening?? That place should be shut down.
Even calling an attorney or the hospital where your surgery took place, as others will probably be sent there if no one speaks up. Be a crusader!
What do you have to lose?? Good luck.