Thinking of taking a Day Trip: Anyone have tips to make it successful

If you haven't done it already make it happen. Don't put your life on whole consider yourself as well as your husband. Let him sit in the backseat where he can stretch out put him some relaxing music on or a a tablet where he like to see a movie or something interests him as well as a snack for you both. Pray on the way breath easy and enjoy on any ride you take. Meaning make the best of it.

I'm going through the same thing. Hesitant to drive 14 hours for Thanksgiving especially thanksgiving weekend with so many cars on the road, but would like to see the family, and I think it would mean a lot to him. So I'm considering a trip as well. Just trying to live our lifes as normal as we can although there is nothing normal about MCI, and everything we have been going through with medical, infusions, caregiving, etc. Just take one day at a time.

@kjc48 We just returned from a week long vacation to the mountains. Like you, I was very concerned as to how my husband would do on the trip. We were going to be traveling with, and staying with, other family members so I was hopeful that would help. He made the trip just fine. We had some great excursions outdoors that he really seemed to enjoy. The evenings were a little touchy as that’s when he usually has some paranoia/hallucinations issues, but we were able to work through them. All in all it was a good decision. He enjoyed getting away and being surrounded by those who love him so. Everyone treated him so kindly. I know the trip did me a world of good too. I think it’s important to try to keep life as normal as possible for as long as we can. We don’t know what tomorrow, next week, or next month may bring. I hope you are able to go and be with family for the holidays.

@labrown
thank you for your words of wisdom. At a time when things are so blown up, it's good to have others that can calm the waters. Everyday has been something else. I'm in a rental, my house had mold, my husband diagnosed at the same time we had to move out, with MCI, the first rental for 8 days, a host of problems, and more mold, so we moved back into a hotel. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This Mayo Connect site, you, and others like you that care, and sharing at a time, when we don't know what we don't know. I'm okay, he's okay. But I like what you're telling me, and it's good for his son - our blended family second marriage - to see and be with him. THanks for sharing. You helped make my decision to just go, and enjoy the kids during the holidays.....Thanks, so much for reaching out. And I'm glad your trip with your hubby was great, too.

Hi Sallie,
I can only speak for my situation, but I have accepted that travel is no longer an option.
My husband did well during his last trip…which included private car service to the airport, a short two hour flight, then a one hour drive to our condo. My daughter accompanied him, and he had wheelchair assistance at both airports. However, when they arrived at our condo, which we have owned for twelve years, have developed friendships there, and had family gatherings…he said “this is a nice place, I could live here.” Needless to say, my daughter was in shock! It took over three weeks for my husband’s cognition to return to close to where it was before that trip.
I made the two day car trip to the condo alone (my plans were to spend six months there, to avoid the northeast winter) and arrived the following week, with our SUV packed to capacity!
I had made the mistake of assuming he would be fine, as long as I made the actual traveling as easy as possible for him. I was so wrong!! I never considered how the change in environment would affect him. After all, he was traveling to our beloved happy place…a comfortable condo, in a beautiful warm location, with an amazing view of a charming active harbor.
It was very distressing to witness his confusion. He was mixing up our two story home up north, with the condo on one level. He would ask if we were going to sleep downstairs??? He never asked to leave the condo and had no recollection of where we received our mail, disposed of the trash and recycling, or even where the elevator is located. It was so upsetting to witness this warp speed decline!
He has slowly adjusted to being here and he remembers our closest friends, but has lost so much. I realize that he can no longer travel, even to places that were familiar. That part of his brain that allowed him to immediately adjust to a new environment…is damaged. I will not put him through that again, so this is where we will stay.
I have declined an invitation to spend Christmas in Colorado, with our son and his family. Although he loves being with our children and the grandchildren…they will now need to visit us here.
I have not figured out how I will take care of unfinished business up north…It will require several trips of weeks at a time. Right
now my focus is getting the help I need to care for him. I prayed for help and my prayers have been answered. I have two part-time caregivers that will start next week. They are both willing to assist not only my husband but wherever I most need them. I have a walking disability that requires I use crutches. The added responsibility of his personal needs has affected my mobility…the caregivers are a God send.
Three of our five children and a few of the grandchildren will be travel here for Thanksgiving…Christmas we will most likely be alone, but I’m fine with that, as long as he’s ok…we will face time and I’ll plan something special. After the New Year…I will tackle things up north and the issue of how I can be there, while leaving him at the condo. A couple of our children, that can work remotely, have offered to say at the condo with him. I have to trust that it will work out because this is where he needs to be.
I wish you all the best in your situation and safe travel if you decide to make the trip,

@jniels , my family members akso had negative experiences from traveling…even short distances. Apparently, those who have slight decline may fare better, but I’ve never known of anyone with dementia who adjusted well from one environment to another. I think knowing the risks is important.

@celia16
Agree🙂

@celia16
I totally agree, which is why I shared my experience. I was concerned that a few prior comments were encouraging traveling.
In my heart, I know this is a safer, much more comfortable and stimulating life for him…it would have been an extremely difficult decision. He’s recovered, but it could have been a very different outcome…we were blessed.

@jniels This is all hugely helpful. I had been counting on taking a short trip to NYC for our 60th anniversary, thinking we'd be back on old turf and that would be terrific. I had also counted on our daughter being with us, and she is so good at calming my husband and making light of any issues that come up while solving big problems like flight cancellations with our barely noticing them. But I think all of that is really over and I'm grateful for the experiences offered here in making that choice. My husband is legally blind and has suffered a lot of visual loss in the last few months. It's hard to tell whether any of his issues are due to visual or memory issues or both converging. He is the master of the dishwasher but lately puts very few things back in the right place. I go in when he's elsewhere and sort it all out because I think he takes pride in having that job and I don't want to take anything away from him. Once he couldn't remember how to start the dishwasher, and lately has been having trouble with the laundry as well. We were talking about going to a movie theater which he wants to do but can't see a thing once he's in the dark and tends to panic.
He does go for a long walk, up to two hours, every other day, and that's a worry. I walk with a rollator so
I'm out as a companion, and no one else has been located who would go with him - and he wants to be alone. He has his phone and his Meta glasses and usually makes a call to me on the walk and that is reassuring. He's always on the same turf though not always on the same route, in our small quiet town with hardly any traffic. But I worry. On the other hand, the walking is his great pleasure and consolation that he's okay and has done wonders for him. He had a back problem the doctors couldn't fix so he couldn't take his usual long daily walks for over a year but we found a PT guy who resolved it, so that's been huge.
He now sees the gerontologist every six months and did really well on his last testing. I had to be the bad guy, bringing up some of these recent losses, such as finding a half-frozen package of ground beef in the wicker box I've made him for his necessities. When he panics about how we're going to deal with all this, I say we're going to stay in our house as long as we can and accept the fact that there will be losses and we can figure out how to deal with them. I've been simplifying all the details of our life, working with his wonderful low-vision specialist, and so far so good. If it begins to affect him emotionally, that will be another question, of course. There's a good dementia specialist in our town but so far he has refused to go to the informational sessions. Guessing that will change and we'll learn some good coping strategies there for both of us.

@stuffy Give some thought to putting an airtag in his pocket when he walks alone. You never know when/if he's going to have trouble finding his way home. Also, my husband and I both wear MedicAlert bracelets---his says he has Alzheimers, mine says I'm a caregiver (in case something happens to me and he is stranded at home alone).