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Has anyone noticed a change in behavior?
Just curious . . . Has anyone noticed, as witnesses to serious illness in either yourself or in that other person you sometimes are called upon to care for, a particular obsessive/compulsive behavior shift after experiencing serious illnesses?
I've noticed, ever since, through the years . . . after my husband first started suffering from one serious illness to the other . . . that he has or have order in everything! Everything from arranging his socks in a straight row . . . to the eggs in the egg carton always having to be placed in the same places after one or two are taken out of the carton . . . arranging his grocery cart in completely the same orderly way when we shop . . . to the dishwasher . . . to storing boxes on our shelves in the basement . . . . etc., etc., etc.
But, when he started in on my undie drawer . . . and having to arrange everything "just so" . . . THAT'S where I drew the line and said something. It's been maddening at times. If I put something away that he thinks should be put there in another way . . . he rearranges things. It's been worse ever since he had cancer. Even he has told me that he doesn't understand it sometimes; but, most of the time, he does it because he "knows" better.
I read somewhere that the loss of control he had over his health, especially after a serious illness . . . people do this sort of thing because they have to "control" something since they lost control over their own health.
I'm trying NOT to let it bother me . . . but since I started speaking up more for myself and NOT letting him control me the way I used to allow him to . . . . he does this stuff just because I think he knows it has.
Anyone else noticed this strange shift in behavior after being sick or watching the person you love suffer from illness?
Just curious.
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@royce
Well, consistent inconsistentcy then? Sounds like you take care of each other, riding the waves in a storm?
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3 ReactionsOh, dear heaven. I am going to stop feeling sorry for myself. My problems, which sometimes loom so large, are NOTHIING compared to what some of you are going through. My thoughts and love go out to you.
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3 Reactions@bettes
A person can always find someone else out there with what sounds worse but the flip side is that there's always someone with a story that can inspire. NO health issue is to be minimized.
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3 ReactionsYou are right, of course. I am trying to live a life of gratitude for where I am in life—I got through colostomy surgery in March and defied everyone who thought I wouldn’t pull through, and just had my hip replaced a month ago. But the extraordinary courage I see from the people who post here truly humbles me. Bette
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5 Reactions@becsbuddy
I agree with you on this Becky. I think they are aware of what is happening to them, I mean sometimes they are with it and others, well we know. Thus they do their darndest to control the things they can. Others, like my H seem to just let things go, as I posted before.
It must be awful to be going down the path H and others are. H use to always say he hoped he would pass away of a heart attack, etc., when his time came because he didn't want to go through dementia.
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2 ReactionsMy husband (this is a second marriage) is a retired Air Force pilot. He has always kept his belongings in an orderly fashion but since he has been diagnosed with PD and the disease has progressed he is a "stickler" about time and the things he uses every day. His meals have to be on the table at a certain time. Medication must be taken on the dot (timewise). Everything he uses daily must be in the same place. He was such a sweet man when I married him but his personality has changed for sure. It is probably the progression of the disease but it's so hard on me as I am his sole caregiver. He has some help (thankfully) from the VA but this is only 16 hours per week. If I didn't have this I would probably be in the "nut" house! I was caregiver for my parents but had help from my sister for them. Now, caring for my husband alone is wearing me out. It would be different if his personality has not changed. Deep down I know he loves me but the harsh words hurt!
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6 Reactions@vette98
Thanks for your input, @vette98! I can really relate on so many levels. I, thank God, don't have the PD illness to deal with but I think, just in general, serious illness of any kind brings a whole side of someone out in the open. Trying to find order and control over SOMETHING, ANYTHING, the patient can find when they lose those things makes sense, yet it leaves us feeling like those things are more important than anything else. It's so hard some days. I try not to let it get to me but it's really hard.
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