I understand how you feel. My husband and I have been married for almost 45 years. He believes that I am two different women. One he refers to as sweetie, the girlfriend, she’s the one he wakes up with every morning and smiles tenderly at and tells her he loves her. The other woman he refers to as “her.” “Her” is his care partner. She is the one that makes sure he takes his medication on time, makes sure that he takes his shower and shaves regularly, makes sure that he is dressed appropriately, schedules all of his appointments, and sees to all of his needs, she is also his driver which isn’t necessarily a good thing because he misses that ability. She is the one that he gets annoyed with because of those very things that she is trying to do to ensure that he is well taken care of. Even though I know that I am both women, it does hurt a little bit to know that he prefers sweetie over her. He will ask all along if she (her) is gone. I think he thinks of sweetie as the younger version of me…when we first met, fell in love and life was good. I do remind him occasionally that I am both women to which he will just give me a grin and then tell me he knows that. The idea of his need for a sweetie does remind me to show love and tenderness to him daily, even as I am going through some of the not so pleasant care partner moments. I cannot take his comments personally. This is a sad disease, but we have to find the smiles within each day that enable us to keep going.