Talking Frankly about Living with Advanced Cancer

Hiya I’m Dave just starting 7/23 to live with stage IV mets lung to liver, bone (pelvis, hips, clavicles, entire spine) & again right lung. The dr said he cannot cure me but he’ll make sure I won’t die of cancer. Tanx doc. Immediately started radiation. Partially successful due to the location of the nodules in the spine. Next up chemo another joy ride. Those days following treatment are brutal even with all the anti-everything meds they give you. Then there’s the pain. Bone pain is hurtful, really hurtful. Even with morphine patches and oxy there’s a constant feeling of being unwell in my abdomen and back. Cannot stand at the sink to wash dishes much less climb a ladder to clean gutters. I’ve lost weight and continue to do so even with help from a nutritionist. So how do I live with advanced cancer; I guess I’m still angry hurting sad. I’ll get thru this as I did 2 yrs ago when I had sbrt for lung nodules. Self-pity isn’t helping

Hello @testlady

I see that this is your first post on Mayo Connect. Welcome and thank you for so honestly describing your feelings. Your phrase, "the fog of inevitability," so aptly describes what so many of us feel at one time or another. Especially after a test finds a new source of cancer, and we find ourselves facing another surgery or another round of treatment.

Please continue to share your journey with us as you feel comfortable doing so. We would like to get to know you better, and also may I offer my congratulations on your "six years and counting."

Teresa

I’m newish in the cancer experience (18 months) and now have my first recurrence. It’s still not clear exactly what the next step will be but for sure I’ll be having chemotherapy that will be harder on the body than the first round. I feel like it’s important to allow myself scared, sad and angry feelings but I don’t want to live in them all the time. I think self-compassion is necessary and very different from self-pity. I’ve always been a planner and right now I can’t really plan much. It does feel like I’m grieving for the life I had envisioned. I hope to learn and grow from this experience but I’m not there yet!

I’m newish in the cancer experience (18 months) and now have my first recurrence. It’s still not clear exactly what the next step will be but for sure I’ll be having chemotherapy that will be harder on the body than the first round. I feel like it’s important to allow myself scared, sad and angry feelings but I don’t want to live in them all the time. I think self-compassion is necessary and very different from self-pity. I’ve always been a planner and right now I can’t really plan much. It does feel like I’m grieving for the life I had envisioned. I hope to learn and grow from this experience but I’m not there yet!

I’m newish in the cancer experience (18 months) and now have my first recurrence. It’s still not clear exactly what the next step will be but for sure I’ll be having chemotherapy that will be harder on the body than the first round. I feel like it’s important to allow myself scared, sad and angry feelings but I don’t want to live in them all the time. I think self-compassion is necessary and very different from self-pity. I’ve always been a planner and right now I can’t really plan much. It does feel like I’m grieving for the life I had envisioned. I hope to learn and grow from this experience but I’m not there yet!

I had similar feelings about sad and angry. And similar feelings about planning and grieving. And they reoccur as you experience a new phase of your cancer or treatment. You may want to journal your experiences. I read a book which helped me... " No cure for being human" by Kate bowler. What type of cancer do you have?

I appreciate your response...it's so helpful to know that others experience similar feelings. And I have ordered the Kate Bowler book..thanks for that recommenation! I have stage 3 ovarian. Do you feel comfortable sharing a bit about your cancer and treatment?

I don't mind sharing.
I have one of the rare sarcomas: leiomyosarcoma (LMS). No symptoms , no weight gain until one day, I couldn't keep anything down. It runs out I had a large retroperitoneal tumor causing a small intestine bowel blockage. Needless to say they excised the tumor. I was then listed as no evidence of disease ( NED) with a CT scan schedule every 180 days.
I had my baseline scan in December and in March a very aggressive lesion on my liver was detected. In the month to get a biopsy, get a port, and a electrocardiogram and other tests ;they did another scan and my lesion had doubled and now I had three lesions. I started chemo with the std for care of LMS in April and am now on my 6th and final cycle with doxorubicin/tribectedin regimen. Next week I go on maintenance chemo with just Tribectedin. In October they will do another scan to see if I am in "stable" condition. Every scan has shown an impressive reduction of the lesions. One is no longer detectable. I am going to ask the chemo/oncology board , after I am stable for two rounds of CT scans if resection of the liver is possible to remove the remnants of those lesions . Altho I have been fatigued by the chemo I still do not exhibit any symptoms from the cancer. I can tell my white counts are low because if I get scratched or cut or a hangnail they get infected and require antibiotics .

Hiya I’m Dave … just updating
Made it thru my 3rd chemo treatment on 9/9. Since my last post Palliative Care team has been a tremendous help in reducing my pain and moving me past the scared angry and sad stage. New outlook on life I’ve learned I have metastatic stage IV adenoCA with KRAS and TP mutations among others. Not a great prognosis but we’re still hopeful the treatments do the job. Focusing on getting thru the next chemo; then the Pet/Ct. Looking into drug trials that may be available. Discussions with family can still get emotional at times but at least the self pity is behind me