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Talking Frankly about Living with Advanced Cancer
Cancer | Last Active: Oct 11, 2025 | Replies (562)Comment receiving replies
I’m newish in the cancer experience (18 months) and now have my first recurrence. It’s still not clear exactly what the next step will be but for sure I’ll be having chemotherapy that will be harder on the body than the first round. I feel like it’s important to allow myself scared, sad and angry feelings but I don’t want to live in them all the time. I think self-compassion is necessary and very different from self-pity. I’ve always been a planner and right now I can’t really plan much. It does feel like I’m grieving for the life I had envisioned. I hope to learn and grow from this experience but I’m not there yet!
Replies to "I’m newish in the cancer experience (18 months) and now have my first recurrence. It’s still..."
We are on the same trail of life.
I had similar feelings about sad and angry. And similar feelings about planning and grieving. And they reoccur as you experience a new phase of your cancer or treatment. You may want to journal your experiences. I read a book which helped me... " No cure for being human" by Kate bowler. What type of cancer do you have?
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Hi Amy,
I'm sorry you have cancer. I know that is disconcerting and also scary. My husband had lung cancer for 14 years. He died in July, 2024. But we enjoyed those 14 years together! Learning that he had cancer was difficult at first, but we managed as we went through it. One thing that helped us was to research the side effects of the medicine they give you and the treatments like Chemotherapy. The Mayo Clinic website is a good place to do the research. That way, at least you have an idea of what to expect even if it sounds bad. Also keep in mind that not everyone experiences the side effects. Everyone is different. Remember too, it's your body and your money. It's your decision what is done to you. If something doesn't feel right, then you can refuse to have any more of it.
It's important to eat healthy and get plenty of rest. Your body is fighting for your health and it needs all the help it can get!
One thing that really helped us the most was praying together. We gave everything up to God and let him handle it and he did! God is always there for us. He made you and he can fix you!
Take time to enjoy life and your family and friends. That time when we may not be together with them comes too soon. I'm so glad that my husband and I told each other how much we loved one another many times. It helped for that inevitable time when we could no longer say that to one another.
Amy, you sound very sensible and I'm sure you will do just fine! I will say a prayer for you.
I wish you the best.
PML