Believe me, I do understand. It's draconian. But for you, it's going to improve your quality of life, if you can believe it, AND....AND...extend it by several good years. Who could ask for more?!
In case it helps the least little bit, there is a woman who is a member over at afibbers.org forum who has had 50 cardioversions, untold numbers of ablations, severe health problems, including as a young girl that required a stay in an ICU for a full year, and she got her pacemaker and an AV node nuke about two years ago now. I think I'd be scared to meet her in a back alley because her constitution is that tough. 😀 And I'm a retired tank officer! But, she reads all the time, posts new research findings for us all to peruse, and she answers many posted questions by newcomers. She's ACTIVE. She lives! And so will you.