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Oh honey, I so understand how you feel and where you are at.
There are many days I want to scream and just run away. Today H started "explaining" to me about how Trump was putting tariffs on EGYPT and India. Then it was back to checking the outside temp. every, oh, 10-15 mins. and moan about how hot it was getting.
He walks around the house shuffling, hacking, grunting, moaning and groaning and, how do I say it, trying to suck phlegm out of his "lungs" because of his physical condition. It is torture to hear this all day, every day.
I was out on the sunroom reading yesterday and he got all upset claiming I was avoiding him. He was right, it is hard to read with the hacking, etc.
Rest assured, we have been to docs for all these issues and no matter what they prescribe he has a problem with it. All meds have side effects. Last time the Doc. told him that he had gone through all the stuff available for his asthma, there was nothing else. This because H wanted something else to try. H got to the end f the road with the asthma drugs, it was either go back to one he had tried already or go without. He just doesn't understand.
I do so need that diagnosis of dementia for him, as it would open up a lot of help for us. We are not wealthy by a long shot, but just above the cap for getting the help we need. That diagnosis would help us a lot with care etc. for him with the advantage insurance co.
Replies to "Oh honey, I so understand how you feel and where you are at. There are many..."
@kartwk
I am sorry for all you are enduring. Although my dad is not nearly as difficult, I can relate to some of your situation. Sometimes it’s the “little” things. Since I was very young, mouth noises would set my teeth on edge. Fingernails on a chalkboard? No problem. Someone throwing up? I’m fine. But smacking, etc mouth noises? Yikes! Now, dad doesn’t do it none stop—don’t know how you remain sane. But he, too, has sinus issues and the mouth and nasal noises are frequent—especially when trapped in the car at close quarters together. Sometimes I just have to giggle to myself—“God, what am I suppose to learn from this? Patience I suppose?!?” Stretching……ever stretching…..And except here, where can you talk about such a petty thing without people hard core judging? But try it being your daily reality for years upon years upon years….hoping I will become desensitized eventually! Blessings to you for a refreshing easy day!
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I want to add here that the only relative around us is his daughter. She wanted us to move here so she could "help us out in our old age". She lives 5 miles away and he hasn't seen her in 6 months. The only time she showed up in a timely manner was about a year ago when H had a heart attack scare and they kept him in hospital for a few days. She showed up, when I wasn't there, with a WILL for him to sign so that he could sign everything over to her and she would take care of him. She was going to have two of the nurses witness it!
That felt good to spill the full truth. Usually when I talk about that I say that she was talking to him about his will because I didn't want to say and face just what she was up to. So since she didn't get what she wants she have little, if anything to do with H or me, and that includes Christmas, Thanksgiving etc. She didn't even bother to call or send a card to him for Fathers Day.
My Doctor is aware of her behavior and has told me that if she starts up on him and me again about the will or giving her things, etc. to let him know immediately. I told him about it last August.