What is the funniest thing a doctor has ever said to you?

Posted by scottbeammeup @scottbeammeup, Jun 24 2:59pm

I had a good rapport with my (now retired) General Practitioner. Once, I went to see him for food poisoning. It was campylobacter and he gave me antibiotics. They worked but I got clostridium dificil from the antibiotics and he said I had to take Vancomycin, the antibiotic of last resort.

I asked what happens if it doesn't work? "Well, Scott, then I'm going to have to take you out back and shoot you." He said it so calmly and dryly that I couldn't stop laughing.

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methel | @methel | Jul 1 10:31am

In reply to @hdwoman "That Musinex has Robitussin in it." + (show)

This is a dentist story. My young new dentist tried to distract me while she was drilling out a filling gone bad. She knew from my insurance that I worked where her father was a boss and asked if I had worked for him. “Yes” Next Question “Did you like him?” I lied. “Yes” “Funny. You are my only patient who said they liked him. “

mikayla | @mikaylar | Jul 2 9:02am

I fell and got a black eye. I was trying to hide it from my family doctor when I went for a wellness check. He looked at me and said, " Nice job"!

blt50 | @blt50 | Jul 3 11:50am

Sounds like you have a doctor that is “real”, hold on to him.🤣 I was having a crown pur in by my dentist and my mouth was spread wide open, but he was having trouble seeing what he was doing and said , “ your tongue has a mind of its own” it kept obstructing his view. 🤣

hicopd | @hicopd | Jul 4 11:35am

In reply to @hdwoman "That Musinex has Robitussin in it." + (show)

Well, I had a new doc. I only saw once. I have idiopathic emphysema. He asked me is it was ever going to get better. I said, nope the nature of emphysema is that it’s progressive. It was sort of funny—in a weird way. I never saw him again.

Another doc said I didn’t have emphysema, despite all the evidence to the contrary, I just have “bad asthma.” I never saw him again either.

kayraymat | @kayraymat | Jul 5 8:43am

My Orthopedic surgeon gave me a shot in the knee for pain which did
absolutely nothing. So he said casually, " You could always have
a knee replacement." When I got a second opinion, the new doctor said
I had Bursitis & did not need a knee replacement...... I guess that is more
maddening & weird than funny, but I wanted to share it. ALWAYS GET
A SECOND OPINION WHEN SURGERY IS INVOLVED.

Zebra | @californiazebra | Jul 5 11:46am

This is something funny the patient said. Decades ago, when my son was 14 he was injured in gym class. On the way to the doctor he gave me a long drawn out story of what happened. When the doctor asked him what happened I said, “Give her the short version.” He looked at me with frustration, then turned to the doctor and said, “I got run over by a fat kid.” The doctor laughed and looked at me. I shrugged and said it was an accurate summary. Teenagers - ha!

Zebra | @californiazebra | Jul 5 11:54am

When a relative went in to see her gynecologist, the male GYN walked in and said, “And how are your ovaries doing today?” She said, “Fine, and yours?” 🤣