@user_cha272278 Your story says that you are a survivor. What you have experienced and your desire to remain focused on positive outlook, are an inspiration. Hanging on to hope is like a life preserver, I like that phrase!
You bring up an interesting point about the reason for being spared. I also asked "Why" after my life was spared by a liver and kidney transplant. I have discovered that the experience gave me an entirely new perspective and awareness of the fragility of life. And an understanding that everyone is different in how they manage their own trials. I also like to use my experience to help others by sharing and listening.
Amazing, isn't it, that looking back you can say '7 short' years. Not so at the time though. Happy for you that you have overcome through your positive outlook. Keep on sharing:-)

@rosemarya --There is not much known about TTp/aHUS, I have had tests done and they want to do more because it could potentially affect a new kidney. I have spoken with Dr's in Oklahoma who specialize in TTP and at the U of M. I am currently waiting for more labs and possibly genetic counseling . Noone really knows yet. These tests they do are not very " conclusive ".

@user_cha272278 Hello Dr. Ron:

I agree with @rosemarya that "Hanging on to hope is like a life preserver" is a great word picture. As you may have guessed, I'm a visual learner and if you can give me a picture of a concept I can understand it.

From your previous posts, I can see that you have found many "life preservers" since your health crises. Your wife, your medical team, friends your writing and probably many more.

Keep posting about hope as a "life preservers" we all need to be reminded of that!

Teresa

@beitel, Becky, I don't think it is possible, or even healthy, to block it out. But you can try to to think of positive or happy (like the miracle that you are alive, that you have a new kayak and all you want to discover...) It will be difficult for your loved ones, because they, also. were going thru it with you.
When I got my transplant, someone told him that we should celebrate the anniversary every year - like a birthday, or anniversary. For us that is a nice dinner somewhere. And it is always emotional, but it is a celebration for us.
If you have read some of the other posts in this PIC forum, you will have read of others who share your feelings of depression and also tears that just show up. Becky, there is no magic time fir it to go away. But it will get better as you move forward.

My suggestion is to try not to focus on the approach of 'that' day. Share with your counselor, maybe he/she has some ideas.

When are you planning to try that new kayak?

Thank you for the insight. I tried my Kayak last week and it was amazing. I have been so busy dwelling on the anniversary of such a tragic thing instead of focusing on the celebration of life and healing. You really made a great point. Maybe it is something to discuss with my family also.

I went down Rouge River with. A kayak. Of course we had our rapids coach with us. Three day trip. Good food every night. They stop at lodges every night. You can choose a caping trip. I love rafting. My husband in his ,80s rafted. He went home happy.

@rosemarya , @beitel My transplant anniversary, my birthday and our wedding anniversary are all within three days of each other; so we were already celebrating two things, adding a third was no problem. To be honest, though, there was no celebrating the first few years because my health was so bad. Once I got my health under better control we could celebrate again.

Thank you so much. I have constructed a heartfelt message to help folks before during and after severe medical challenges that are life changing. Peacefully accepting a “new normal” can test one’s resiliency. The small message (attached) hopefully helps others.

After almost seven years of recovery (from a broken neck, 5 week coma, sepsis, MCI) the “lights in my mind” are turning on. I had acquired ADHD from the closed head TBI, which finally is clearing up.

I know there are many folks, less fortunate than I, and I have gained far more than I have given in terms of trying to “maintain “status quo” and let IT go. (“It” being non-life-supporting attitudes, behaviors and even toxic people. ).

I was in the brain and spinal cord ward, and met a veterinarian who was incredibly positive in spite of (or maybe because of) a spinal cord injury. I learned that physical disability does not have to diminish the human spirit of “doing unto others.”

My intent in all this is to payfoward, in some way, all the compassion and care showered upon me for weeks, months and years. At long last this Humpty Dumpy IS put together again, for a Happy Ending for Life. ( PS, don’t worry, the Attached “The seven year hope” message is only 500 words long). Dr Ron. .. Make Today Count. I look forward to your reflections of hope during troubled (but temporary) waters. THANKS for allowing me to share (and Learn) from Y’all.

@beitel I have a strong faith base and have practiced yoga and meditation for a long time. These things help me keep grounded and deal with whatever comes along in life. I also suffer from depression that cycles. My worst times are usually in the winter. I had so much trauma occur during the winter holidays that I feel ruined that time of year for me. I am confident that is what causes my depression to increase at that time of the year.
As for when your grief will change, only you will know. Every person has their own journey through grief and depression is usually part of grief. Some people bury it for years with business and a stoic demeanor. Other people cannot stop crying for months or years. I encourage you to: Schedule a "sad" time every day. Plan for at least 10 minutes where you just think about your grief. Journal during your "sad" time. It can be helpful to look back after a week, month or year to see how/if things have changed for you. And lastly, focus on meeting daily needs of food, clothing, personal hygiene, and making enough money to pay your monthly bills. Blessings for your future.

Thanks. I will try yoga. Down here in North Carolina they have goat yoga. Fortunately they are Pygmy goats. Where are you from. And don’t give up. Dr Ron