@tallygirl We are pleased that you found our group! I can see that many of our members have reached out to you. These are just a great group of people who share and care and we are glad that you have become one of us! Folks post at this site when they are hurting and as they feel better they begin to encourage others, that is what makes this group wonderful! Have you considered joining a NAMI support group in your area? NAMI is a great group that seeks to break down the stigma of mental illness and provide support for those who deal with mental illness as well as their family members. Keep in touch with us and let us know how you are doing. Teresa
Hi Lynn I'm so sorry that you're not feeling well. I too am very depressed and spent most of the day in bed yesterday. I will not let myself do that today. Some of the time I have to take a nap even when I'm feeling good as the handful of pills I take every day makes me so tired. I wish for all of us that they could come up with a magic pill that would take away the depression and anxiety and would work for everyone. In this day and age you would think we would have more effective solutions for our illness. I feel a little better today and even though I live in New England I'm going to try and get out with the dog today. One thing I'm worried about is not feeling better when we go to Florida in three weeks. I will be with people all the time which I don't mind for a while but I also need my alone time.
Jim I hope that you too will begin to feel better. Have you tried changing meds? Have you Lynn? I think I've run the gamut on pills therefore there are few options for me. There are a couple of new antidepressants that have come out in the past few years but I haven't tried any of them yet. I guess that's all I have to say. I'll be thinking of you guys and hoping that you get better.
Take care,
Leslie
@lesbatts Hi Leslie: I applaud your tenacity when you said, "spent most of the day in bed yesterday. I will not let myself do that today." Breaking the habit of inactivity is a good first step for overcoming depression. Depression is one of those illnesses that does not respond well to "bed-rest." A short nap can be good, especially when dealing with the fatigue that comes from meds, but activity will help lift the depression. Thanks for your insight, input and example! Teresa
Hi Lynn I'm so sorry that you're not feeling well. I too am very depressed and spent most of the day in bed yesterday. I will not let myself do that today. Some of the time I have to take a nap even when I'm feeling good as the handful of pills I take every day makes me so tired. I wish for all of us that they could come up with a magic pill that would take away the depression and anxiety and would work for everyone. In this day and age you would think we would have more effective solutions for our illness. I feel a little better today and even though I live in New England I'm going to try and get out with the dog today. One thing I'm worried about is not feeling better when we go to Florida in three weeks. I will be with people all the time which I don't mind for a while but I also need my alone time.
Jim I hope that you too will begin to feel better. Have you tried changing meds? Have you Lynn? I think I've run the gamut on pills therefore there are few options for me. There are a couple of new antidepressants that have come out in the past few years but I haven't tried any of them yet. I guess that's all I have to say. I'll be thinking of you guys and hoping that you get better.
Take care,
Leslie
@johnhans I like what you said, "We all effect others for good sometime in our life so we would have been missed had we not been here." This is so true! You are to be commended for seeing your value in our world (and especially at Mayo Connect). Depression sometimes blinds us to our value and keeps us from seeing our true self, but you have managed to avoid that pit-fall. I'm so glad that you chose to post. I wish you well as you affect others for good today. Perhaps we all can make this our goal - to make one positive contribution to life today! Teresa
Georgette12, don't take from my post about the inch worm rule that I start out with distrusting people. I have a basic trust in people with the exception of those I pick up on right away as not being trustworthy. I will sometimes use the inch worm rule with them, and other times I will just stay away from those I think are not trustworthy. I understand that those empathic feelings I have are filtered through my own experiences and may be my own issue and not reflective of who that person is.
In the past I was too trusting and I had few boundaries, which meant I laid my heart and life out to everyone and was not able to discriminate between those who would respect and be kind to me, and those who might take advantage of my nievete'. I would often be hurt by untrustworthy people. I learned through therapy and years of personal work that I have boundaries that are real and necessary for me to live a productive and happy life. I learned to use the inch worm rule when my intuition told me that I needed to be cautious until i knew a particular individual better. This worked very well, especially in business situations. (I have worked all of my life, retiring in 2016.)
My life has been filled with situations where I could not trust the adults in my life, and had to rely on myself to keep me safe. Since I was a very young child, I didn't always make the right decision about safety. I also learned that at times the best way for me to get support was to open up to everyone, looking for the person who would love me. That is where my insecurity and my hyper-vigilance were in conflict and confusing for me. I first sought help with counseling when I was 24 years old. I grew up with my parents separating when I was 18 months old, after my father pulled both my arms out of my shoulder sockets sending me to the emergency room. My mother was pregnant with my sister at the time and she was very sick. She decided to send me to live with my aunt. I lived with my aunt until I was 4 years old. Then I came back to my mother, and I was totally confused about which woman was my mom at that point. By the time I was 5, my mother realized she could not take care of my 2 older brothers, my sister and me. She sent my brothers to live with our father in Denver, and my sister and I were sent to an orphanage in Missouri, where my mother lived. We were there until I was 12 years old. My grandmother bought a house so my mom, sister, and I could live with her. That lasted 2 years, and then my mother couldn't stand living with her mother. So, she took my sister with her and left me to tell my grandmother that she had gone to Denver. I ended up living with my mother in Denver after she had remarried my father, when I was 16. I was pregnant and married by the time I was 19. I needed to create my own stability. I had been in counseling for 3 years when realized my marriage was a mess and my husband was an alcoholic. My first husband and I were married for 9 years.
That's a snapshot of my history, which in detail is disturbing, but that would be just too much for this forum. Suffice to say mistrust and confusion were a big part of my psyche. I really needed counseling and I was aware enough to ask for help when I was 24 years old. My life steadily improved since then. I only realized about 4 years ago that I was depressed for most of my life, and again I asked for help. I am taking Citalopram now and it has had a tremendous affect on my happiness. Life is good now; I am fulfilled; I love my second husband of 34 years. I am very grateful for what I have learned and the opportunities I have had to choose to be successful in my life.
I admire you. You've come from such a long far away place and i can hear happiness from your post. Congratulations! You are quite an in spiration! Thanks again!
Hi Lynn I'm so sorry that you're not feeling well. I too am very depressed and spent most of the day in bed yesterday. I will not let myself do that today. Some of the time I have to take a nap even when I'm feeling good as the handful of pills I take every day makes me so tired. I wish for all of us that they could come up with a magic pill that would take away the depression and anxiety and would work for everyone. In this day and age you would think we would have more effective solutions for our illness. I feel a little better today and even though I live in New England I'm going to try and get out with the dog today. One thing I'm worried about is not feeling better when we go to Florida in three weeks. I will be with people all the time which I don't mind for a while but I also need my alone time.
Jim I hope that you too will begin to feel better. Have you tried changing meds? Have you Lynn? I think I've run the gamut on pills therefore there are few options for me. There are a couple of new antidepressants that have come out in the past few years but I haven't tried any of them yet. I guess that's all I have to say. I'll be thinking of you guys and hoping that you get better.
Take care,
Leslie
I''m lucky I have some of the top hospitals in the country in my area. I went to Silver Hill in Connecticut. I was there a week but if I told them I was suicidal they would keep me, I believe for two weeks. I know you can stay there as long as you want but my insurance will only pay for two weeks. After that you pay by the month which is approximately $200,000.
I made some friends while I was there and some of them were staying for a month or two. New Canaan is an area where many people are very wealthy and can afford to pay. I would love to be able to go for two months, I could do one but I don't think my husband would be very happy.
Another thing about going to the hospital is that you always end up with a roommate. I hate sharing a room with a stranger. I've been in the hospital three times, this last time (about five years ago) in Belmont Ma. and my roommate was pretty scary, I didn't feel safe therefore if I have to go back in I'll go to Silver Hill. Most of these programs offer day programs that are pretty helpful. My insurance will pay for that as long as I need to go. Enough babbling I just hope that eveyrone is doing the best that they can out there today.
Take care all,
Leslie
Good Morning all, yeah know...I got on the chronic pain discussion site, and some have mentioned that there are a lot of depression and mental health issues and sharing on here, well..of course. Ongoing mental pain is absolutely chronic. Like I said in another comment....pain is pain. My goal is to deal with the physical, mental and spiritual part of myself. I want so much to be accepted and be a value of some sort. I know I am loved, no doubt of that at all, but I yearn for camaraderie, fellowship. I seem to be able to speak my mind so I hope I do not offend anyone. I will try to keep that in check.
Tallgirl and Jim, I am sending as much positive energy you way that I can. I too lived with depression for over 8 years. I had been seeing a physiologist, which in hind sight I believe was an angel. This woman was able to unlock me and lead me to freedom. So I truly wish for you that you will find freedom.
PEACE & LOVE JJ
well folks, since I did not get any response for my plea for someone to talk with, I guess it just confirms my suspensions of who can I trust. I know I am new but golly gee folks, just say HI...I did a couple of responses that someone liked what I had to say but did not reply...why?? This may sounds really needy or nerdy, but it is what it is. Yeah, we all have problems, all of us that live here on this planet , but it seems to me that the success that someone has experienced is the most valuable thing we can offer each other.....well other than letting each other KNOW they are LOVED.! truly loved! BE there for each other...and I am as guilty as anyone. I tend to sit back and every once in a while reach out to test the waters..There have been some responses and they have been nice, but on the level I am trying to find. I miss having friends, but I don't promote it either, so I though maybe this forum would be an outlet. WE ALL have something that has affected us in a negative or horrific way. My experience so far that life can be tolerable, wonderful or extremely hard and unpleasant. WE all have to make that choice everyday of how we choose to see it. I do wish, hope, pray that we can all reach out and find peace,letting go of whatever is stopping us from living. Ok...enough ranting?
PEACE & LOVE......JJ I am am 74 yr been here.woman.:)
Good Morning Colleen 🙂 I really am not sure what I want heard, maybe when I share someone may find something similar in themselves and share with me. I found in these life experiences that I have things that happen that help me see things differently then I had before. So like as you do, take something I say and question it. It sounds like you have been a counselor for a long time, Is this right? I was a Stephen's Minister Leader for over 8 years. I USED to be and do a lot of things. Now I have no title, no passions, no way of making awards, no sharing with others. I keep saying I am going to this tiny town's newspaper and seeing if I can find people my age that like to pay games. I used to knit....well golly I used to do many things, I am a mother of three boys, 4 grand children. My first husband died 16 years ago, we had been married for 39 years. Then after 5 years of his death, I remarried, which was horrible. Now I live with a man that I am not married to legally. We have been together for over 9 years now. He is my sweetheart. He helps me so much. There is love and acceptance, We do not marry because if we did the government would penalize him and take away his benefits. Since I have so many health issues, I don't want him to be without these benefits If I die first. We are happy and I am trying to tell myself that is enough. But underneath all of this I hide, because always believed that you do not co habitate. So I feel like I am doing something bad according to my past church people. My three sons are dealing with it. Because John is such a good man, they are coming around. John does not go to church, and he encourages me to go if I want. I don't want to any more.
Share something about myself, well I just did some. I have dealt with death, loneliness,depression,loss of a lot of money, bad marriage, strokes, heart attacks, and 3 way bypass, 7 major surgeries, sever spinal stenosis, obese,perifical neuropothy. I have a pace maker that I depend on 100% of the time. I had a spinal stimulator implanted Feb. 2016. It has helped greatly.
I am on my way to Wally World...TTYL
PEACE & LOVE ...JJ
I'm so overwhelmed right now. I've got so much to do today. I want to accomplish things like take a shower, make the bed, make a list of my current meds for my doctors and to make notes of what I want to tell each doctor I see. It's not going to happen in the condition I am in. When I turned on my computer there were several posts that I WANT to write back to but I just can't think straight right now. I am not ignoring you at the moment but i do hope to feel better (hopefully) later today. I do care about all of you. I just need to rest now. Thanks for listening..
Hello @jjwest, I just read your post and was pleased to see that you are a Stephen Minister, just as I am! You will always be a Stephen Minister, even if you are not actively serving. The skills we learned and the people whose lives we touched will always be with us. Have you considered asking your church for a Stephen Minister for your own needs now? If not your former church (you mentioned that you are not attending now), perhaps a different church in your community that might provide a "listening ear" for you. There are plenty of churches that will not be judgemental and I hope that you find one who can provide you with someone to listen to you. Thnik about it and let me know what you decide. Also, are you able to get to a NAMI support group in your area? Teresa
Hi Lynn I'm so sorry that you're not feeling well. I too am very depressed and spent most of the day in bed yesterday. I will not let myself do that today. Some of the time I have to take a nap even when I'm feeling good as the handful of pills I take every day makes me so tired. I wish for all of us that they could come up with a magic pill that would take away the depression and anxiety and would work for everyone. In this day and age you would think we would have more effective solutions for our illness. I feel a little better today and even though I live in New England I'm going to try and get out with the dog today. One thing I'm worried about is not feeling better when we go to Florida in three weeks. I will be with people all the time which I don't mind for a while but I also need my alone time.
Jim I hope that you too will begin to feel better. Have you tried changing meds? Have you Lynn? I think I've run the gamut on pills therefore there are few options for me. There are a couple of new antidepressants that have come out in the past few years but I haven't tried any of them yet. I guess that's all I have to say. I'll be thinking of you guys and hoping that you get better.
Take care,
Leslie
@lesbatts Thank you for bringing up the topic of day programs. I hope the rest of our group is aware of these programs and can take advantage of them. Teresa
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@tallygirl We are pleased that you found our group! I can see that many of our members have reached out to you. These are just a great group of people who share and care and we are glad that you have become one of us! Folks post at this site when they are hurting and as they feel better they begin to encourage others, that is what makes this group wonderful! Have you considered joining a NAMI support group in your area? NAMI is a great group that seeks to break down the stigma of mental illness and provide support for those who deal with mental illness as well as their family members. Keep in touch with us and let us know how you are doing. Teresa
@lesbatts Hi Leslie: I applaud your tenacity when you said, "spent most of the day in bed yesterday. I will not let myself do that today." Breaking the habit of inactivity is a good first step for overcoming depression. Depression is one of those illnesses that does not respond well to "bed-rest." A short nap can be good, especially when dealing with the fatigue that comes from meds, but activity will help lift the depression. Thanks for your insight, input and example! Teresa
@johnhans I like what you said, "We all effect others for good sometime in our life so we would have been missed had we not been here." This is so true! You are to be commended for seeing your value in our world (and especially at Mayo Connect). Depression sometimes blinds us to our value and keeps us from seeing our true self, but you have managed to avoid that pit-fall. I'm so glad that you chose to post. I wish you well as you affect others for good today. Perhaps we all can make this our goal - to make one positive contribution to life today! Teresa
I admire you. You've come from such a long far away place and i can hear happiness from your post. Congratulations! You are quite an in spiration! Thanks again!
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1 ReactionI''m lucky I have some of the top hospitals in the country in my area. I went to Silver Hill in Connecticut. I was there a week but if I told them I was suicidal they would keep me, I believe for two weeks. I know you can stay there as long as you want but my insurance will only pay for two weeks. After that you pay by the month which is approximately $200,000.
I made some friends while I was there and some of them were staying for a month or two. New Canaan is an area where many people are very wealthy and can afford to pay. I would love to be able to go for two months, I could do one but I don't think my husband would be very happy.
Another thing about going to the hospital is that you always end up with a roommate. I hate sharing a room with a stranger. I've been in the hospital three times, this last time (about five years ago) in Belmont Ma. and my roommate was pretty scary, I didn't feel safe therefore if I have to go back in I'll go to Silver Hill. Most of these programs offer day programs that are pretty helpful. My insurance will pay for that as long as I need to go. Enough babbling I just hope that eveyrone is doing the best that they can out there today.
Take care all,
Leslie
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1 ReactionGood Morning all, yeah know...I got on the chronic pain discussion site, and some have mentioned that there are a lot of depression and mental health issues and sharing on here, well..of course. Ongoing mental pain is absolutely chronic. Like I said in another comment....pain is pain. My goal is to deal with the physical, mental and spiritual part of myself. I want so much to be accepted and be a value of some sort. I know I am loved, no doubt of that at all, but I yearn for camaraderie, fellowship. I seem to be able to speak my mind so I hope I do not offend anyone. I will try to keep that in check.
Tallgirl and Jim, I am sending as much positive energy you way that I can. I too lived with depression for over 8 years. I had been seeing a physiologist, which in hind sight I believe was an angel. This woman was able to unlock me and lead me to freedom. So I truly wish for you that you will find freedom.
PEACE & LOVE JJ
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2 ReactionsGood Morning Colleen 🙂 I really am not sure what I want heard, maybe when I share someone may find something similar in themselves and share with me. I found in these life experiences that I have things that happen that help me see things differently then I had before. So like as you do, take something I say and question it. It sounds like you have been a counselor for a long time, Is this right? I was a Stephen's Minister Leader for over 8 years. I USED to be and do a lot of things. Now I have no title, no passions, no way of making awards, no sharing with others. I keep saying I am going to this tiny town's newspaper and seeing if I can find people my age that like to pay games. I used to knit....well golly I used to do many things, I am a mother of three boys, 4 grand children. My first husband died 16 years ago, we had been married for 39 years. Then after 5 years of his death, I remarried, which was horrible. Now I live with a man that I am not married to legally. We have been together for over 9 years now. He is my sweetheart. He helps me so much. There is love and acceptance, We do not marry because if we did the government would penalize him and take away his benefits. Since I have so many health issues, I don't want him to be without these benefits If I die first. We are happy and I am trying to tell myself that is enough. But underneath all of this I hide, because always believed that you do not co habitate. So I feel like I am doing something bad according to my past church people. My three sons are dealing with it. Because John is such a good man, they are coming around. John does not go to church, and he encourages me to go if I want. I don't want to any more.
Share something about myself, well I just did some. I have dealt with death, loneliness,depression,loss of a lot of money, bad marriage, strokes, heart attacks, and 3 way bypass, 7 major surgeries, sever spinal stenosis, obese,perifical neuropothy. I have a pace maker that I depend on 100% of the time. I had a spinal stimulator implanted Feb. 2016. It has helped greatly.
I am on my way to Wally World...TTYL
PEACE & LOVE ...JJ
I'm so overwhelmed right now. I've got so much to do today. I want to accomplish things like take a shower, make the bed, make a list of my current meds for my doctors and to make notes of what I want to tell each doctor I see. It's not going to happen in the condition I am in. When I turned on my computer there were several posts that I WANT to write back to but I just can't think straight right now. I am not ignoring you at the moment but i do hope to feel better (hopefully) later today. I do care about all of you. I just need to rest now. Thanks for listening..
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2 ReactionsHello @jjwest, I just read your post and was pleased to see that you are a Stephen Minister, just as I am! You will always be a Stephen Minister, even if you are not actively serving. The skills we learned and the people whose lives we touched will always be with us. Have you considered asking your church for a Stephen Minister for your own needs now? If not your former church (you mentioned that you are not attending now), perhaps a different church in your community that might provide a "listening ear" for you. There are plenty of churches that will not be judgemental and I hope that you find one who can provide you with someone to listen to you. Thnik about it and let me know what you decide. Also, are you able to get to a NAMI support group in your area? Teresa
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1 Reaction@lesbatts Thank you for bringing up the topic of day programs. I hope the rest of our group is aware of these programs and can take advantage of them. Teresa