"Looking forward." Has PN taken that away from me, too?

Posted by Ray Kemble @ray666, Jun 11 8:58am

This morning I had to psyche myself up. At 2, I'll be meeting a friend for coffee; he and I used to meet for coffee every Wednesday at 2 –– but that was before PN. In my journal this morning I gave myself a pep talk: "Come on, Ray, don't have second thoughts about having coffee at 2. You used to love having coffee at 2. Instead of trying to get out of it, why don't you try looking forward to it?" And that's when I realized, since PN, how few things I genuinely look forward to. The realization troubled me. Pissed me off, too. For the first time it struck me how "looking forward" is something I used to do about a whole host of things. Somewhere along the way (since my PN diagnosis) I'd stopped looking forward to things. Has that happened to you? Have you lost the instinctive eagerness for social get-togethers, weekend road trips, neighborhood block parties, Saturday shopping –– coffee at 2? Have you given in to the loss of "looking forward"? Or have you tried to do something about it? What have you done? And have you been successful? I'd love to know.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Neuropathy Support Group.

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Hello, liloldlady (@lilodlady). You Connect name gave me a huge smile!

I'm in my 80s, too –– well, just 80, but "just 80" qualifies me for full membership, doesn't it? –– and a great believer, too, in amassing information, or as you say, " … getting all the knowledge i can … " The problem I'm having, increasingly as time goes by and more and digital devices are added to my world, is trying to make smart decisions between all the information that's available to me. Like many of us, I feel like I'm being asked to drink from a firehose that's open full-throttle. (How to drink safely from an information firehose could be its own Connect topic. It probably already is.) I find the more I am asked to drink, the more cautious I become …

… the more determined, too, to identify credible sources. And that's not easy. I find the 24/7 availability of the Internet is itself a problem, or it can be. In order to more fully enjoy my three-dimensional life –– and prevent two-dimensional distractions (screens) –– I've had to resort to using a browser blocker. I'm so glad I have that blocker. Not only does it help me get some real work done, but also it enables me to only sip from that information firehose.

I'm on my feet, giving you a standing ovation for what you say: " … i am not going down without a fight, i am kickin and screamin … " Three cheers, liloldlady!

All the very best to you!
Ray (@ra666)

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Hmmm... i just noticed your name is signed with a 666 hmmm, interesting:)
I had my first softwave treatment Wednesday. will be going back. Only took a few minutes. Am curious to see if it actually can help regenerate anything. On the phone, I did tell the Dr.......after he said it doesn't always work, I told him, well, I'm 82, if you can make me feel like 72, I will be happy. As a lil old lady, who is in to anything alternative i am at 11 pm, sitting here with: a castor oil wrapped around one finger with a bone spur. After a couple of weeks, and using it every day, it did start to shrink just a little. then , as life does, i got busy and forgot to continue it. so, of course, boom, it's back a little bigger than before, so back to wrapping my finger all night, and days when i am home. I also now, have a large castor oil pack on my back, because i have stage 3 kidney failure. No pain or anything, just numbers from a blood test, so far. Will see if maybe after a couple of months my GFR readings will get better. I also, today, had my first Lyphatic massage. It is NOT for neuropathy, i went in for something else, but surprisingly, my legs feel a little stronger. Now , I am talking Today.......tomorrow, they could be back to a little on the weak side. One think i notice you have going for you , from your response is............you don't have memory loss, nor incompetency, you sound sharp as a tack. Ok, better than that............ummm, still wondering about 666

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Hi, Barb (@bjk3)

I may or may not take up acting again. If I do, it'll be great, If I don't, that'll be great, too, or I'll do whatever is needed to make a "new life" (life without acting) great just as well. In a way, that's something that PN has taught me: Be ever-ready to adjust to ever-changing circumstances. Someone once told me beware of identity addiction. Be ready to slip and slide in order to make the most of how things must be; if I don't, if I resist with all my might, wanting to make things the way they once were when some things, like PN for instance, is incurable) I'm only dooming myself to a string of unhappy days.

I say all that and I'm still actor-enough to be ridiculously jealousy of your son-in-law and Second City! LOL Good for him!

Don't worry, Barb, I'll give all ladders a wide berth: no climbing 'em, no walking under 'em!

Cheers!
Ray (@ray666)

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I’m enjoying this these discussions! I developed neuropathy from the cancer drug I’m on. One leg/foot is worse than the other. I haven’t really processed how to live with it yet.

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Good morning, Barb (@bjk3)

I had thought that "purpose" might make for a good topic. After you've hung around this forum for a while, you realize that the majority of topics have to do with the nuts and bolts of PN –– shoes, meds, therapies, etc., and that's 100% to be expected –– while fewer topics have to do with the emotional impact of PN. What you and I think of when we hear the word "purpose" differs slightly. Your thoughts natural gravitate toward the spiritual, whereas mine rotate more around one's sense of self. For example …

… until PN, I could get up each morning and say to myself "my purpose is to act." I was able to finish the "I am a ______" sentence by saying "I am an actor." When PN came along, booting me from acting, I had a hard time saying "my purpose is to act." (Let's set aside, just for discussion's sake, the option I had –– and still have –– to act using a walker or wheelchair. Many fine actors do, and I may yet still.) So, if I felt like a fraud saying "my purpose is to act," what was I to say? "My purpose is to take pills"? "My purpose is to walk ever so carefully so I don't fall"? "My purpose is to get used to having PN"? Each of those has its place, but none seemed deeply satisfying, not in the long run of being alive and being conscious of being alive. Blame it on a swollen ego if you wish ( 🙂 ), but needed something grander, more triumphant, more contributory that just remembering to take my atorvastatin.

It seems that either way we're inclined –– the spiritual, or the self-assessing –– it's a matter of identity: how we see and understand ourselves, and how others see and understand us. And trying to finish the killer sentence: "I am a _____."

Oh, Barb, us and our PN. Ain't it somethin'? 🙂

Cheers!
Ray (@ray666)

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Hi Ray. I am Fay. What is atorvastatin? Is it for neuropathy? Doctors told me nothing they can give me. I take Alpha Lipoic Acid purchased from Amazon and it helps with the burning pain. God Bless you.

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Hi, Fay. Atorvastatin was given to me only in April 2024 not because of my neuropathy but because I had ended up in the hospital because of a septic infection. Frankly, it took me by surprise when I found that atorvastatin was now part of my daily pill diet. Here's a portion Mayo's definition of atorvastatin: "Atorvastatin is used together with a proper diet to lower cholesterol and triglyceride (fats) levels in the blood. This medicine may help prevent medical problems (eg, chest pain, heart attack, or stroke) that are caused by fats clogging the blood vessels … " I suspect, while I was in the hospital's ER and a treatment plan was bring drawn up for me, atorvastatin seemed like a reasonable preventative medication; not to make light of it, but in the hubbub of the the ER docs trying to figure out what was wrong with me, atorvastatin may have seemed like a "good idea at the time." I'm right now asking my primary doctor if I could stop taking atorvastatin since atorvastatin seems to have little involvement with my particular brand of peripheral neuropathy (no pain, just poor balance). I hope that helps.

My very best to you, Fay!
Ray

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Hi Ray. I am Fay. What is atorvastatin? Is it for neuropathy? Doctors told me nothing they can give me. I take Alpha Lipoic Acid purchased from Amazon and it helps with the burning pain. God Bless you.

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Atrovastin is for high cholesterol and causes neuropathy. There is no cure for neuropathy if there was we would all be healed. I have had neuropathy since 2002 it’s moved into my bladder and heart.
https://www.foundationforpn.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Medications-that-Can-Cause-Peripheral-Neuropathy.pdf

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Hi everyone,

Sure it's of interesting articles on Neuropathy!!! There are over 10 million of us, over 100 different neuropathies, and most persons seem to be affected differently and at different stages0 if there is such a thing?!

I am an 81 year old Vietnam Veteran who was way up North in Vietnam near the DMZ from 1968 to part of 1970 and I did a whole lot of weed spraying over the years with various properties I owned and never wore a mask or gloves so I am sure all of this has contributed to me terrible regression and state with supposed Peripheral Neuropathy and now just started with sugar diabetes!! My feet are always on fire and numb like my hands and arms, I get winded easily, and the pain is nearly intolerable!! I am highly allergic to meds so can't really take anything for pain, but sure use Sombra each and every day and night all over my body that gies me a little edge on same but nothing to write home about!

I have tried nearly everything there is to try and all the "snake oils" out there that are a complete ripoff and waste of time, bummer! From my many trips to the ER Rooms, all kinds of testing and doctor opinions we have ALL pretty much given up. I am pretty sure my auto immune system is shot, my myelin sheath gone, and my nerves getting constantly bombarded!!! If and when someone finds some genuine and serious aids to help with all this constant and horrendous pain I will be a very happy man!!! Sad but true, that is my story!!!!! Semper Fi.

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Profile picture for fred101 @fred101

Hi everyone,

Sure it's of interesting articles on Neuropathy!!! There are over 10 million of us, over 100 different neuropathies, and most persons seem to be affected differently and at different stages0 if there is such a thing?!

I am an 81 year old Vietnam Veteran who was way up North in Vietnam near the DMZ from 1968 to part of 1970 and I did a whole lot of weed spraying over the years with various properties I owned and never wore a mask or gloves so I am sure all of this has contributed to me terrible regression and state with supposed Peripheral Neuropathy and now just started with sugar diabetes!! My feet are always on fire and numb like my hands and arms, I get winded easily, and the pain is nearly intolerable!! I am highly allergic to meds so can't really take anything for pain, but sure use Sombra each and every day and night all over my body that gies me a little edge on same but nothing to write home about!

I have tried nearly everything there is to try and all the "snake oils" out there that are a complete ripoff and waste of time, bummer! From my many trips to the ER Rooms, all kinds of testing and doctor opinions we have ALL pretty much given up. I am pretty sure my auto immune system is shot, my myelin sheath gone, and my nerves getting constantly bombarded!!! If and when someone finds some genuine and serious aids to help with all this constant and horrendous pain I will be a very happy man!!! Sad but true, that is my story!!!!! Semper Fi.

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please try Alpha Lipoic Acid. you can get it at Amazon. It help me with the burning and pain somewhat. It bothers my stomach, so I eat before taking it. They have recently got this medication in a time release capsule, and it don't bother me as bad. I get Natrol Alpha Lipoic Acid time release 600MG 45 tablets. It is not expensive I think it was about $23.00. worth every penny to me. Good Luck

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Have been using for some time twice daily along with NAC but no such luck said the duck!! Thanks for responding. Glad it works for you. Semper Fi.

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Profile picture for Ray Kemble @ray666

Hi, raebaby! (@raebaby)

I applaid your "Don't give up!" An attitude like that is the best medicine. You mention numbness, but do you have much pain? I don't have any pain, but my balance is a problem, my one and only problem. Mornings it's not too bad, but as the day goes along … that's another story! I wish it weren't so, but it's this unreliable balance of mine that gives me second thoughts when I'm considering long-distance travel. I envy your get-around ability!

Cheers!
Ray (@ray666)

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I have no pain, balance is not so good. I have found if I walk fearful & carefull my balance is worse. If I charge like a raging bull my balance is better. I think my momentum is what helps my balance. I’ve always been a hiker @ if i was hiking up hill I was happy.I broke my back as a wild kid & think that has something to do with why I have neuropathy.

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Good morning, Frank (@frankmoore)

New Balance makes good shoes. I've worn many pairs over the years. In fact, I probably have a few old pairs squirreled away around here. A nasry septic foot wound last year caused me to have to adjust my footwear, These days, I wear a pair of Skechers Go Walk. They were kindest to the wound while it healed.

Ray (@ray666)

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I also have a pair of Sketcher's with a wide Toe Box that are comfortable on my feet.

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